Hi Everyone! 

I'm so sorry for the delay in writing a post. I posted an update after my last scan via video on my Facebook but I know not everyone uses that platform. I had radiation for a tumor in my back muscle in September and I was hoping that I would be out of pain. The radiation went smoothly although I was so exhausted most days and had to rest a lot. I had a scan in early September and it seemed to confirm that things were stable. I spent September resting a lot and enjoying just taking care of myself and the kids. After the t-cell transplant, traveling and radiation, I was just spent. Taylor and I cooked a lot and I enjoyed the simplicity of a daily routine. 

I had a scan this week and on the day of the scan, the doctor pulled up the images and gave me a thumbs-up that things continue to look stable. I was starting to get used to some good news! I came home after the scan and told the kids the news. The following day, Dr. Agulnik from the City of Hope called and he had news that was very different from the day before. Unfortunately, oncologists don't read scans well and in August he misread the scan and got me nervous and scared, this time he said everything was stable. Both times he was wrong. Every time I get news of cancer growth, I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I don't want to use the word "bad" news versus "good news" because that very morning when I woke up it dawned on me that there are no bad or good experiences, we just have experiences. We tend to label things and when we do, we discount the beauty in all experiences. I may not like hearing that cancer is growing and I have a bunch of emotions that follow that news, but all emotions are amazing and so what if I cry for a day? It is real and acknowledges my pain and on the flip side, when I come out of expressing that pain, I feel such hope and inspiration flowing through me. It's like weathering a storm on the ocean and enjoying the fact that not only did you survive, you have renewed hope and appreciation for when things are calm.  Enjoy the calm when you have it in your life because a storm is always coming. That's life. We were not born with a promise that life would be stress-free and challenge-free. The Bible is full of advice about how to weather the storms (faith), and all religions talk about challenges in life. The news was that several tumors have grown and one mystery tumor doubled in size. The mystery tumor is why I'm still in pain in my right shoulder. It turns out that the radiologist missed noting that I had a second tumor in my back on the official report on every scan including this week's scan. This mystery tumor is only a few inches above the one they radiated last month. Apparently, it was 1.2 cm two months ago, and now it's 2.4cm. I'm really confused honestly how a radiologist missed noting that tumor on the last three scans, and how two oncologists and the radiologist performing the radiation also missed seeing it. At least Dr. Agulnik found it when he was looking at my scan. The pain has been annoying and frustrating, especially in my shoulder. Had they seen that tumor, I could have had radiation on it along with the other tumor and I would have been out of pain. These are the frustrating moments in the cancer journey. Even the experts miss things. You can imagine my surprise when the doctor told me about the mystery tumor but at least now I can head back in soon and start radiation on that tumor.  I'm also going to find out if they can radiate one of the lung tumors that also doubled in size. I also have two tumors near my heart that grew slightly but they are in a risky spot to radiate. Of course, I'm bummed to find out that numerous nodules/tumors grew. Some grew slightly and a few almost doubled in size. Now it's time for radiation and a new study. I have a second opinion scheduled with Dr. Singh this Wednesday and I'm reaching out to the radiation Doctor tomorrow to get an appointment. Dr. Agulnik at the City of Hope is meeting with the tumor board to see if he can get me a spot in a study that is closed and to see if I qualify for another study they have. It sure was nice to have calm in my life for several months but the winds have picked up and it's time to head back into braving the high seas. I want it to be known that I am not fighting cancer, I'm fighting to live. If and when my body says enough, I trust that God was a part of me living and surviving just as God will be the one who says it's time to come home. I told my kids that I do not want it said after I pass away that I "lost the fight" because I did not lose. First, it's not lost on me that I am already a walking, living miracle. I have lived valiantly for 5.4 years with cancer and I had it for two years prior to my diagnosis. I have lived with over 50 nodules in my lungs for over 4 years and I have not seen one person in my Synovial Sarcoma group that has had that many tumors. I have watched many cancer warriors pass away in a lot less time with only a few tumors. I don't know why God has kept me going but I'm grateful for every moment I have here. I do everything to help God by taking great care of myself and valuing every moment I have. I never take anything for granted. Second, I won't lose when I leave this earth because my soul will live on. I will visit my loved ones from beyond, probably as a butterfly since I love how butterflies represent transformation! I'm not going anywhere soon though, since I still have a lot of life left in me and I think God has work for me to do. 

Much love and gratitude! Blessings.....

Denise 

Living Well

People would define living well very differently. In our American society, living well often equates to eating well. Eating well however does not mean eating healthy, in fact just the opposite. I don't think I realized how dysfunctional our society is with its relationship to food until I went vegan over a year ago. I had given up meat a decade earlier but still ate fish and diary until I gave that up as well. I have noticed that people will cling to their unhealthy diets no matter how much the food is making them sick, people will make excuses about their dietary choices and people think being vegan is a preference versus a lifestyle. So many times, friends or family have tried to get my kids and I to just eat meat occasionally because why not. I never had so many people care about what I ate until I went vegan. Somehow, going plant based seems to trigger people who are feeling a bit guilty about their culinary choices and misery loves company. 

Let me start with the fact that I have never felt better with my dietary choices. Turns out, being vegan fits with me perfectly. I love the variety of foods I eat as a vegan, enjoy finding new vegan restaurants when we travel, and I love how I feel physically being plant based. I never have a heavy feeling or heartburn and I eat lots of fiber. Of course, the plant based diet helped me even more because I am immunocompromised. My cancer treatments have been pretty taxing but if you look at me, other than a bald head, you'd be shocked I have a cancer diagnosis. I look healthy and I bounce back from treatments more easily. I remember when I was first diagnosed with cancer, when I was in shock and not quite ready to give up the fish and dairy, plus it didn't help that everyone wanted me to eat meat more than ever back then because of misinformation that I could use the protein. I get plenty of protein on a plant based diet but back then, I did not know enough to help me navigate the plant based terrain. 

My daughter and I cook together now, comb through vegan cookbooks and love going on field trips to vegan restaurants to see what their take on a vegan burger is and to enjoy new environments. There are also some yummy fast-food plant based places where we can still get delicious yet healthier versions of mac-n-cheese, pancakes, onion rings, etc. We splurge on that occasionally. I know changing dietary choices is a big change so I've come up with some suggestions to get motivated to increase plant-based foods into your diet and to start changing bad habits into healthier ones. The good news is, each change brings more awareness and empowerment that you are what you eat, literally. 

Let's get started:

1. Change out your margarine and butter for plant based versions. Trust me, butter and plant based butter taste the same, so this is a no brainer. I bake with plant based butter, saute, and use it just like I would regular butter. We like the Oatmilk butter, cashew butter and Earth Balance margarine but we like most of the options. 

2. It's also easy to swap out dairy milk for an alternative. There are now so many alternatives, you can find the one that tastes the best to you. I love most alternative milks but my favorite is oat milk because its texture is most like dairy milk and it tastes great in recipes. I use oat milk in coffee and for all recipes that call for milk. By the way, cashew milk ice cream is amazing. We love So Delicious Salted Caramel chocolate dipped bars. 

3. Eggs seem to be called for in most recipes but I've learned that nothing actually needs an egg. Every recipe we've found has an egg replacement alternative. I use "Just Egg" which is an egg replacement for cookie recipes and to make great scrambles. I also have a great French toast recipe I created using "Just Egg." I usually use one and a half tablespoon of Just Egg as a replacement for an egg in a recipe. You can also look up creative ways to replace eggs but Just Egg works well for me. You can also purchase folded Just Egg in the freezer section which makes great egg-n-vegan cheese breakfast sandwiches. I'll include that recipe at the end of this post as well. 

4. Eat 100% plant based once a week to start. Call it Vegan Monday or Plant Based Tuesday, or Meatless Wednesday, but try giving up all animal products one day a week. This is a great way to help you try recipes or foods that are new and shows you how easy it is to focus on plants instead of meat. 

5. Get a physical and get your baseline bloodwork done so that as time goes on you can compare. This also might motivate you if your weight is too high or if you are borderline with health issues. Denial is easy to ignore until you have facts that show you on a report that your cholesterol is too high. People seem to ignore the scale too easily. 

6. Watch inspiring documentary's on healthy eating to inform and motivate you. Some of my favorites: Kiss The Ground, Game Changers, What the Health, Seaspiracy, and Forks Over Knives." Read books like, "How Not To Die," and "How Not To Diet," by Dr. Gregor. Join Facebook plant based groups or watch Tik Tok videos about the benefits of a plant based diet. Find vegan restaurants in your area and try them out. It's easier eating vegan when there are no meat or dairy options on a menu taunting you to go back to your old habits. Besides, you'll find out how yummy plant based food can be. 

7. Give it time. Your taste buds are use to over processed, fatty, high calorie, animal products....vegan foods will taste different at first but once you've been eating plant based long enough, your taste buds change. I thought plant based cheeses tasted just okay at first but now I love them. Be patient and commit yourself to taking more control of your nutritional health. It's easier to eat vegan these days and every day more restaurants are offering plant based options so now is a great time to increase your plant based options in your diet. 

Recipes: By Denise and Taylor Burke 

Peanut Butter Cookies

½ cup of  raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) brown sugar

¼ cup raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) sugar

1 stick plant-based butter (½ cup) 

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 ½ tablespoon Just Egg 

1 cup coarse (stone-ground) whole wheat flour (adjust as needed)

½ teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

½ cup of peanut butter 

¼ cup vegan dark chocolate chips (optional) 

**Another variation, add ½ cup Oats to the flour mixture. 

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix butter and sugars together until creamy. Add Just Egg and vanilla extract and mix well. Add the peanut butter and mix. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt and mix until all flour is absorbed into the mixture. Bake one cookie for 7 min on a cookie sheet with parchment paper or an ungreased cookie sheet. Baking one cookie is a great way to make sure there is enough flour in the batter. Every oven and altitude can affect how much flour is needed. Add more flour if the cookie comes out too flat. Bake cookies for 7 minutes and when you take the cookie sheet out, allow them to sit out for 2-3 minutes on the cookie sheet before putting them on wax paper or a cooling rack. This allows them to cook a bit longer yet remain soft.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

 ½ cup of  raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) brown sugar

¼ cup raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) sugar

1 stick plant-based butter (½ cup) 

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 ½ tablespoon Just Egg 

1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour (adjust as needed)

½ teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

¼ cup vegan dark chocolate chips 

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix butter and sugars together until creamy. Add Just Egg and vanilla extract and mix well. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt and mix until all flour is absorbed into the mixture. Add chocolate chips once the flour mixture is stirred in completely. Bake one cookie for 7 min on a cookie sheet with parchment paper or an ungreased cookie sheet. Baking one cookie is a great way to make sure there is enough flour in the batter. Every oven and altitude can affect how much flour is needed. Add more flour if the cookie comes out too flat. Bake cookies for 7 minutes and when you take the cookie sheet out, allow them to sit out for 2-3 minutes on the cookie sheet before putting them on wax paper or a cooling rack. This allows them to cook a bit longer yet remain soft. 

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

 ½ cup of  raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) brown sugar

¼ cup raw (organic, unrefined, or raw) sugar

1 stick plant-based butter (½ cup) 

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 ½ tablespoon Just Egg 

         1 cup oats

1 cup whole wheat flour (adjust as needed)

½ teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

¼ cup raisins 

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix butter and sugars together until creamy. Add Just Egg and vanilla extract and mix well. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt and mix until all flour is absorbed into the mixture. Add chocolate chips once the flour mixture is stirred in completely. Bake one cookie for 7 min on a cookie sheet with parchment paper or an ungreased cookie sheet. Baking one cookie is a great way to make sure there is enough flour in the batter. Every oven and altitude can affect how much flour is needed. Add more flour if the cookie comes out too flat. Bake cookies for 7 minutes and when you take the cookie sheet out, allow them to sit out for 2-3 minutes on the cookie sheet before putting them on wax paper or a cooling rack. This allows them to cook a bit longer yet remain soft. 

            French Toast

Loaf of vegan Challah bread or any vegan bread

1 container "Just Egg"

½ Cup Califa Farms Oat Creamer Cinnamon Roll 

¼ teaspoon maple extract or maple syrup 

½ - 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 tablespoons of vegan butter 

Slice the bread and set it aside. Mix ingredients except for the butter. Use the butter to grease the frying pan. On medium heat, dip the bread pieces in the batter and cook evenly on both sides. Serve with vegan butter and maple syrup.

Sausage, Just Egg-n-cheese Breakfast Sandwich

two slices of sourdough bread (or any vegan bread you like) 

1 Ozo brand sausage patty (or your preferred brand)

1 frozen folded Just Egg 

1 piece of So Delicious brand American cheese

1 tablespoon Follow Your Heart brand Garlic Aoili Veganaise 

India Black Kala Namak salt 

*Follow Your Heart Brand American cheese work well too

In a frying pan, spray the pan with olive oil and cook the sausage patty, and folded Just Egg on medium heat. Cook for 2 ½ minutes on each side. Put the American cheese on the egg once it has cooked for 5 minutes total until melted. (Sprinkle the India black salt on the just egg when you place it in the bread) Toast the two pieces of sourdough. Put the garlic aioli on the bread along with the Just Egg,