Today is a Gift

My life will never be the same. My days may be filled with errands and kids but my thoughts always drift back to cancer. Quesions swirl in my head. Will I get to watch my kids graduate High School? Please GOD, I want to raise my babies into adulthood, please. Will I get to be at their college graduations, their weddings, hold my grandbabies one day? If I am one of the lucky ones and I am fortunate enough to live, I pledge that no day will ever be wasted. I know that each day I am here, I have a mission to make a difference. Sometimes its to make my children smile. Other times, its to help a stranger. The other day, a woman approached me in Panera to discuss chemo, because she saw that I have no hair. We talked for awhile and she has stage 4 lung cancer. She knows her cancer has spread, but they want to do chemo to slow it down and she is having some hesitation. I hope I helped her in some small way. Every day, we can make a difference. If you are reading this, imagine receiving a diagnosis that changes your life. No matter how many scans that I have that are clear, each scan will give me anxiety because I'll know that its always a possibility that this cancer can come back and spread. Each clean scan will bring a smile, but each day will still be a blessing. Until I'm in my 80's, I will feel this way, and even then, each day will still count. I thought that I was pretty grateful for living before, but now, I am super grateful. I am grateful for my cup of coffee in the morning, I'm grateful that my taste buds are coming back, I'm grateful for my friends and family, grateful for the support of strangers, and of course incredibly grateful to have my kids. Every day, I'm filled with gratitude, and if I can remind folks that living is truly a gift, more people might value what they have, instead of focusing on what they don't have. I am grateful for this journey and every day is a gift.