Love Is

"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love"...(Leo Buscaglia). Well, I've spent the first 2 days of the new year in bed with a migraine headache. I get migraines every 2-3 months but when I get them, I'm usually out of commission for several days. Migraines seem to be my body's way of demanding sleep since the only thing I can do to cope with the pain is sleep and sleep and sleep. I'm not surprised really. I literally just got back on New Year's eve from a road trip with my kids to Texas and back for the holidays. I love road trips and not only did we enjoy the Dallas area...we drove through Texas to see my cousin and sight see along the way. We loved San Antonio Texas and went to a wonderful Animal Park where Zebra's were eating right out of our hands. One zebra seemed intent on hitching a ride with us. Interesting to note is that Zebra's represent the gift of balance, clarity without filters, uniqueness, power, sureness of path and keeping up with one's individuality within the herd. We also stopped in El Paso Texas for a tram ride up a mountain. We all had a great time but the long stretches of desert and nothing much to see for hundreds of miles just about lulled me to sleep more than a time or two. I had a lot of time to reflect about the past year. 2011 was a year of coming full circle for me. I have come to terms with choices I have made in the past and even got a second chance to try some things differently. I also had chances to avoid some pitfalls that would have trapped me long ago. I know myself better now and have garnered some much needed wisdom to help me on my present journey. Love is the essence of my trek. My hiking trail began with one courageous step forward, committing to love myself and others along the way. I didn't want to remain trapped, stifled or afraid. I wanted to risk being vulnerable and to let my heart lead the way. I've remained true to that mission and have written about the ups and downs I've had a long the way. Love is an energy that defies definition really. I have learned that many people will say the words "I love you," with no true feeling behind them. I've also felt incredible love coming to me from people who were unable to express their true feelings. Love is unstoppable really because it defies logic, time or distance. It can be felt with the heart and lays an invisible foundation, waiting to be built upon. We can try to talk ourselves out of love but even then, the truth can be felt beyond our denials. The same can be said for people trying to talk themselves into love. You feel it or you don't. The minute you start convincing yourself to love is when the argument is a mute point. In fact, more often you know that it's love when you run away from it or feel like running because love is the most exciting yet scary thing you'll ever encounter. The rare few have the strength to embrace love completely with abandon. Most love in secret because they fear being vulnerable. That is why loving yourself is so important. If you have not learned to be passionately in love with yourself, then how can you share and allow that love with another. Broken people search out other broken people to cling to. Like the parable about two lost hunters finding each other in the woods...their excitement turns to frustration when they realize that they are not found, just merely lost together. Love is to give of yourself completely and know your way through the woods because you finally trust your internal compass, your heart. The journey of love though is finding yourself lost along the way because those lessons ultimately teach you what love is and what it's not. "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life"....(Leo Buscaglia).