"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine"...(Maya Angelou). As a therapist, I often have a front row seat to the workings of many relationships. One would think that the easiest decision would be to follow your heart and let yourself fall in love. It's really not. People often run from falling in love and instead choose mates based on having some type of control. What do I mean? Well, people don't want to feel out of control so if they choose someone who doesn't really stir them up on every level but instead makes them feel as if they don't have to deal with their insecurities and fears, then that choice feels safer. Safer doesn't really mean secure though because too often, without a real heart connection....you sleep walk through the relationship, going through the motions. I have watched lately as men and women have sabotaged their potential relationships which offered them a true heart connection because of fear. One client asked me honestly, "How many great relationships do you observe?" That was a good question and a true commentary on our society and how people settle for less than fulfilling relationships. I don't observe very many at all. That's why I choose falling in love and surrendering control. Control is an illusion anyway. Falling in love is like losing your heart only to find that it's not lost but that it found it's way. How can people be open to loving completely if they are guarding their hearts? It seems to me that we should be here to love with abandon, to give love your all because life is short and holding back defeats the purpose of healing and growing spiritually. "Love is of all the passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses"...(Lao Tzu). The song that I have been listening to lately is "Crazy Love" by Brian McKnight. It speaks to a true heart connection and how the woman he is with, loves him with all her heart. It's a very romantic song. Bryan Adams has some wonderful songs too about his journey of surrendering to love. I know all of this seems easier said than done, but why does everyone make it so hard? Fear and defenses make it hard and I understand all too well why we all try so hard to protect our vulnerabilities. But at the end of the day....we are here to love, to heal and to give life our all. How can we give life our all if we hide? I wish that more people would take the leap and choose opening their hearts to then discover that as scary and risky opening your heart may feel initially, it's the risk that makes the journey exhilarating and exciting. Love is like hiking...what kind of view are you going to get if you stay at the bottom of the trail, merely dreaming of what it looks like at the top of the mountain? Much more fun to hike the trail to the top and check out the view yourself, no matter how rough the terrain may seem at times. Following your heart is always worth it....it's your heart and you determine how much it shines based on whether you listen to what it is feeling or do you constantly ignore its messages? "I would rather have eyes that cannot see: ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak; than a heart that cannot love"...(Robert Tizon)
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