In the Red

I just arrived back from my usual summer trip to the east coast. My kids and I spent the past 25 or so days in Connecticut, upstate New York and a quick night over to Vermont. As usual, the trip was very good for me and I always come back with new knowledge about myself and life. How can I even begin to explain the journies I went on while drumming, the endless contemplation about life while hiking and the feeling of having one foot on each coast. I missed California however and I am very glad to be back. I must decribe my moods in color because it helps me to describe in a visual how I am feeling, much like the way I use photograps with my words to tie nature intimately with my words. Red is a color of fire energy, it can rejuvinate, motivate and expand. Now that I am back in California, red is the best way to decribe how I am feeling. I also use the term to describe how I might be feeling when I am heading into depletion, warning me that it's time to get rejuvinated again. All I can say is that I am in the red and with that, I will channell the red energy into painting drums, getting organized, hiking and having fun with my kids. Upon reflection of the past month, I have received messages from my guides constantly, indicating that I am heading in the right direction. I learned that my tribal name was Running Elk from a past life and I watched fire flies dance around my back yard in Connecticut. I danced like crazy on a girls night out, never mind that the average age in the place was 24. My friends and I didn't care. We danced with whomever and it was incredibly freeing, dancing with abandon. I remember being so self conscious when I was younger and worrying about how I looked, forever fearful that I'd embarrass myself. Now I embrace making a fool out of myself. Just ask the girls who attended the Girl Scout camp I directed. I rapped a camp song I wrote in front of over 200 girls. I'd say my days of being overly self conscious are over. I also held a women's drumming circle at my house in Connecticut and watched in awe as 5 other women with their beautifully painted drums, joined together to send healing intentions to those in need. The power of that drumming circle was palpable. Even two of my children begged to drum with us. It was a beautiful moment. If you had asked me several years ago if I'd ever be painting shamanic drums, having drumming circles at my house and talking about past lives so openly, I would have called you crazy. Now I embrace crazy and the life I am now living. My next drumming circle will include men as well since their energy was not purposely being excluded and masculine energy would be a nice balance to the group. I am learning the meaning of balance and day by day, my self awareness grows exponentially. My children had a great time on the east coast and they embrace the fact that their mom talks about god, guides, spirit and past lives...in the same casual manner that most people talk about their neighbors. My children have embraced their bicoastal life and we are all grateful to have so many opportunities to embrace change which helps us remain open and flexible. On this trip my children were actually begging to return to California by the time we boarded the plane this morning and they were extremely excited when the plane landed in Los Angeles. The east has endless green trees and friendships that remain strong, the west coast offers us new friendships and opportunities to expand in who we are. We have surely discovered that we are truly growing and learning wherever we may find ourselves. "In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true"...(Buddha).