All or Nothing

All I want is everything...a passionate kiss, a warm embrace, a smile, laughter, flirting and butterflies in my stomach while desire stirs and builds a blissful connection. I love the line...I want it all, or nothing at all. I am tired of people playing it safe and refusing to commit or follow their hearts in any way. So many men seem to be following one thing..their libido, not their hearts. Perhaps many are just so detached from their hearts that the only thing they can feel is their desire for sex. Desiring sex is pretty easy..it's hardwired into the body really. Look, we are all sexual beings, but there is no denying that the male libido is usually higher than that of a female. Women generally have more control over their desires. We take longer to arouse, so we are not often led by our libido's. Many women have the opposite problem of men....usually emotional issues, self consciousness and insecurities get in the way of the woman being able to be more uninhibited. Am I crazy to want it all? A passionate relationship with feelings. Is it near impossible to find a sexually and emotionally confident man? I'm asking because I have observed a lot of men...sacrificing their families and their pride to get women into bed. When I say sacrificing...I have become aware of a dating site that primary focuses on men and women searching for affairs. Men out number the women drastically on the site. Many of the men make excuses as to why they let their libido lead them. They tell women things like, "I just have an insatiable sex drive," or they of course claim that there is no passion with their wives. I find the same problem on the singles dating sites. Some men claiming to want relationships really only want casual flings and many other men simply state that they are looking for intimate encounters. Men are searching for sex but running from feelings...and sure...some women are too. It has really surprised me how many men will just tell women what they want to hear to get them into bed. Women really need to be more savvy about this. Sure, women are told this but in my observations....more often than not, a lot of men will say anything to get laid. The sad part is that many naive women end up hurt when men mislead them, thinking that there is a relationship building and the bottom line is that the men just wanted sex and they move on. Why can't there be clearer communication about this instead of lies, misleading communication and manipulation? Men have their gripes about flakey women. I'm sure that many women are guilty of misleading men as well. My other concern is how some men allow flirting and initial desire to build only to flee when they start to feel. It just makes men look as if they only wanted sex. What happened to honor in relationships? All or nothing...thats my challenge. I wish that people expected more from themselves and others rather than running, hiding, misleading or playing it safe. If I hear one more time from my female clients that the men they are dating say that they are "not looking for drama or a serious relationship at the moment"....I think I will scream. If I've heard it once, I've certainly heard it a thousand times. What does that mean really? Drama means emotions. Yes, often women do not know how to communicate directly, so men become overwhelmed by a woman's emotions. Claiming to not want a serious relationship right now is a cop out. It's saying...I don't want a relationship with you, but I'll gladly continue to date and sleep with you while you hold out hope that I'll be ready one day. It also could mean that the man is afraid of his feelings and it's just safer to escape with that line of bull. Either way, many women are simply left baffled and frustrated. No wonder many women may appear flakey. Most have been told a pack of lies over and over that they begin to mistrust all men. Men have been misled as well by women who claim to want commitment and yet they ditch the nice men for the bad boys every chance they get. The bottom line is that women and men need to become empowered in their dating lives. Women need to protect themselves emotionally...and to reserve their hearts for the truly brave men who prove themselves to be honorable. And men...they need to be more honest in their approach with women. "Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character"...(Henry Clay).