Being Genuine

"Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot"...(David Herbert Lawrence). What do a 30 year year old hottie from LA, a 45 year old doctor from Beverly Hills and a 65 year old CPA all have in common? All have profiles on a dating site for people searching for extra marital affairs. I think more women should be aware that their husbands might be on-line shopping to cheat on their spouses. Now, I must first say that every man on that site says he wants discretion, yet a huge majority of them have a head shot visible or they send their private pics to a virtual stranger without getting to know them. One man was posing as a married man but I busted him on a singles dating site. He wasn't even smart enough to change his profile name. I think he must enjoy pretending to be married so that he can have sex with women without having to buy them dinner. Other men are sending photos of them with their wives and children! Where is the discretion in that? Even better is the amount of men sending shots of their very erect private parts. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm sure the wives would be completely shocked to discover that pictures of their husbands private parts are all over the internet. Very professional, successful men are sending pictures of their junk to any female profile. I have never laughed so hard while doing some investigating on this site. One guy even sent a picture of his ass. Now, I do not know what men are thinking. We women have an amazing ability to visualize just fine. I have a terrific imagination, so I do NOT need to see a picture of a guys junk. It does nothing for me. Every woman I know says the same thing. We all prefer to be surprised by the entire package once intimacy takes place. Unlike men, we are not visual creatures. Men are just as clueless on the singles sites. They post cheesy pics of themselves half naked in the bathroom mirror or pictures of them driving. Really? Are the car shots to make sure we know they own a car and can pick us up for a date? How are those pictures appealing? The car shots look more like mug shots. The bathroom pics are some desperate attempt to look sexy. It's not. I love reading the profiles of men saying they want frequent long romantic walks, holding hands, endless flirting, yet they specify that they are not looking for love or commitment of any kind and seek exploring the woman's naughty side. Hmmmmm...basically they are saying "I want sex, lots of it...I won't give a shit about you but I will tell you all the romantic things you want to hear to get you naked." One guy that just e-mailed me is a handsome, 30 year old man...yet he's already cheating on his wife and even specifies that he's looking for one night stands and threesomes. All I can say to that is "wow." Not sure what kind of gal would take him up on that...but I'm sure there are plenty of women who feel bad enough about themselves to take him up on his offer. Another single man on the site e-mailed a friend of mine who also has a profile. She told him that she would only use him for an orgy with all of her friends (as a joke)...and without even seeing a picture of her, was willing to meet her. My friend and I have been baffled by these men. Many of them are willing to meet a complete stranger for sex...and most of them tell my friends profile one thing and tell my profile something different. My friend plays the naughty girl and the men are willing to line up (lawyers, doctors... retirees, you name it) to have a turn with her. Those same men e-mail my nice girl profile saying that they are gentlemen who would wine and dine me. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for myself! The singles sites are just as crazy. The men on those sites just sell the "love" card more, even though many of those men are just looking for sex as well. Now, men have told me that they have come across many women playing the same game. Many women write that they want a relationship, only to jump the man on the first date. What has happened to relationships in our society? What happened to integrity and honor? I know that affairs are going to happen and are often a catalyst. I am not judging that process...I am disturbed about the lack of personal accountability and integrity in how one puts themselves out there. Some people have open marriages or at least very honest in what they are looking for and available for. It's the deception that is concerning. The deal is this....a person who is not genuine will eventually give themselves away. A person cannot maintain their facade for too long without some discrepancies beginning to show. Women and men need to take that time to figure out if someone is who they really say they are. The genuine person will remain consistent. Most importantly, trust your gut when you are getting to know someone. If something doesn't feel right....pay attention to that! "My concern is how we learn to be genuine human beings"...(Lloyd Alexander).