Stuck

My sister read my blog post about the Merry-go-round and had a few suggestions and questions. She suggested I write about why people stay stuck and how to stop the cycle. I must say with the utmost compassion, that people stay stuck either because they are in pain and lack the strength to get out of pain or they deny their circumstances, choosing to veil the patterns they've created because fear of change keeps them paralyzed. Let's address the first one....pain. People can be frozen in incredible pain. Their pain is genuine, real and authentic. Pain needs to be processed and felt. Pain, like needles sticking into ones palm may hurt badly at first, but pain can be tolerated and the person can just live a lifetime in pain with no real resolve. The pain creates excuses and the person can avoid living one's life. That is a choice, the other choice is to do the work to free yourself from pain. Yes it takes time, effort and patience. Like mourning a loss, pain needs to be processed and respected, but one cannot stay mourning forever. Staying in pain is never in the best interest of the living, for life is to be felt and to be lived. Denial is another escape. I call it an escape because it is a form of a drug, meant to numb or distort your perspective to make an intolerable situation more tolerable. We have all been there! Denial is a great drug. It is. It buys us all time....but used for too long, it becomes a crutch and a form of avoidance. Denial keeps people on their merry-go-rounds, sometimes throughout their entire lives. None of this is a judgement. This is a reality people choose to live in. If someone chooses that alternative reality, they can choose to stay but they can also eventually choose to change. It is entirely up to them. Sometimes, life (and spiritual intervention) tries to break the denial. That is certainly how men suddenly find out their spouses are cheating because their wife leaves their cell phone out and texts are discovered, or a person gets a serious medical diagnosis or various other "wake up" moments that we have all had the privilege of experiencing. Again it's a choice, plain and simple. I have seen many people wake up and get off of their merry-go-rounds when those moments have occurred and completely change their lives. I have also seen people slip right back into denial and their defenses and fantasy lives become harder to break. People fear change so badly that they often choose to live miserably, feigning happiness rather than choosing to grow into the people they are truly capable of being. I say this here and now directly to each person in denial or stuck. (If you are not stuck and know someone who is, you can say this to them too).
      "Love yourself enough to get off of the merry-go-round. I hope that you see how amazing you really are! You can truly take your life back by changing your patterns. Do not fear change. Change is the best natural drug ever, not denial. Denial is a trickster. Change makes you feel alive and eventually sets you free. Freedom gives you endless possibilities. Choose freedom, choose to love yourself, choose to live the life you've been given authentically and genuinely. Stop pretending. You are only deceiving yourself when you do that. I pray that you see that guidance (spiritual or higher power) is trying to nudge you to wake up. So wake up! Each day spinning, each day on your merry-go-round is another day wasted. The moment you get off of the merry-go-round is the moment you take your life back. Empowerment is yours and it's completely free. The choice is yours. Much love! Denise."