You Gotta Want it

I couldn't sleep last night because thoughts kept spinning in my head. I kept thinking about how people hold back when they are scared, unsure, inexperienced or just bound by obligation. Let me start with my son. He is 13 years old and playing organized basketball for the first time. I wrote previously about being his coach, since nobody else would step up to coach his team. I feel like we are learning together. I also get a front row seat however to some of his behaviors. I have noticed that whenever he is new to something, he is very self conscious and hesitant. I must add however that I am incredibly proud of him for trying something new and risking looking like he's fumbling. It takes courage to step out onto that court for him. One of my observations though is that he is holding back. I give him suggestions, as do the other coaches and he just tunes us out partially. Comments from the sidelines include, "he's gotta want the ball." He is usually avoiding the ball and passes it off as soon as it lands in his hands. It's like the game "hot potato" with a basketball. I get it. I was terrified of the ball as a kid. I too wanted it far, far away from me. He's a 6'1 thirteen year old that has to learn to want the ball. I know I kinda pushed him to play, so I gave him an option to quit. He declined and said he wants to continue. My advice..."then give it your all and determine if you are really in the game, otherwise just quit." The thing is, I watch him play X-Box and War Commander with enthusiasm. He begs me for the latest games, he remembers everything there is to know about the games and he loves the strategy. He's completely engaged in the games he plays. I know he has gained gaming confidence in playing them and he has mastered many aspects of the gaming world, but I wish I saw that effort directed into other new endeavors. He did try his heart out in flag football this year and the coaches praised his effort. I know he has it in him. This dynamic occurs frequently with people. If people are just going through the motions, in the game but not really playing, then what fun is that? I watch parent's pick up and drop off but not really engaged or interested in the activities their children are participating in. I know people in relationships, present but not fully invested in the partnership. I also notice parents over invested in their kids lives, living vicariously through them instead of living out their own hopes and dreams. Those are the coaches trying to win at all costs with no awareness as to how that affects the children. If you are passionate about your own life then you want it, you want to try, you want to improve, you want to give it your all and you are invested fully in whatever you're doing. If however, you do not want it, you are just going through the obligatory motions, trying to please others and yet you really are not pleasing others because you are only half invested. You just gotta want it or else people will notice that you aren't all in. I can tell on the court the players that are "all in." They make mistakes, they miss baskets, but they try their hearts out. In life, you should give it your all, otherwise evaluate your choices and determine if you need an attitude adjustment or if you need to make changes in your life. Sometimes, it's as simple as realizing that you have taken things for granted and have forgotten to get back into the game. For many others, they may realize that their hearts are not fully invested in their jobs, relationships, activities, etc and need to make major changes. "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." (Mahatma Gandhi)