Positive and negative energy do not go well together. Think about it. A positive spark and negative actually repel each other. Same thing with people. People complain all of the time about how badly some people treat them. There is a saying...."you teach people how to treat you." That couldn't be more true. You teach them by allowing, laughing off, and ignoring bad behavior. Even if you lecture them on how to treat you.....if the behavior does not change, then you are allowing them to treat you badly. I use to think that if I voiced how I felt, I was being strong. It is a process of becoming stronger, but true strength lies in being able to walk away. Don't be a martyr, putting up with awful behavior hoping you'll get brownie points for that. You'll get an ulcer, headaches and spend lots of money in therapy hoping you can understand why someone is treating you horribly. Complaining may help you feel better but distancing from negative people is the best approach. Ultimately, once you realize that negative people were literally sucking the life out of you (energetically-this couldn't be more true), you will stop attracting them into your life at all. You'll spot them from a mile away and take a different path! Trust me, the negative person is equally annoyed by you but they get some benefit from positive energy. First, positive people are easier to manipulate and they can use guilt and sympathy to get you to help them. Negative people can easily use positive people to their benefit! Those negative folk will use every bit of energy you freely give to them and they'll want more. Negative people use sales tactics to keep you close. They will act like they are in crisis, they always think everyone is against them (and you are right there to take them to lunch and cheer them up) and they complain endlessly. Guess what, if they are complaining endlessly about others, they are complaining about you behind your back. They are also likely telling lies about you. Why? Because they can and to make sure that they recruit every bit of sympathy from everyone around them, especially if someone wises up about them. Negative people have no loyalty except to themselves and they have no guilt, but they are actors and they'll give you an Oscar worthy performance to show you how distraught they are. If you say, "Hey can you you help me out today, I'm in a real pinch," (mind you, positive people rarely ask for help and when they do, it's not easy for them to ask), negative people will say "no" and tell you that they have a crisis bigger than yours or they'll just say, "nope. I'm busy." They don't operate on the same feeling orientated...help others mentality that positive people do. Their approach is always, "what's in it for me." So please stop wasting your time trying to convert or save negative people. They are perfectly happy being negative (and selfish). Why? Because, they gain a lot of secondary gain (perks) in being negative. They recruit a lot of support and attention and they have people running around doing things for them. In addition, some negative people will keep everyone guessing, creating drama everywhere they turn. They endlessly tell people their woes about how "so and so" is mean to them. They are stuck in a pattern that garnishes attention and power, so they will unlikely want to give that up unless they choose to,....and they rarely choose to. What do these negative neighbors look like? They see the glass half full; They don't appreciate your support and will tell you what you've done wrong the minute you try to pull away from them; They'll guilt you into staying in a relationship/friendship/colleages with them: They'll set out to sabotage you if you dare to call them out on their behavior and they are just plain mean! They do mean spirited things that will make your toes curl in shock. The best part is they'll cover up their cruel behavior with defenses.. "I never did that, said that, etc., you are making that up." I swear, I think negative people have amnesia. Their behavior even shocks them, so they choose to forget it. Don't you forget it though! Their other defense is to be dismissive, to ignore your feelings and say "you are exaggerating, or you deserved that." These negative people are our best teachers however. They teach positive people to set boundaries, to be strong, to trust our gut, to speak up and to be strong enough to walk away. Stronger yet...is to steer clear of them. Sounds easier said than done. These negative people I speak about are everywhere, like sharks swimming in the ocean. We share the same sea with them and we must cohabitate. Dolphins and sharks co-exist, so can we...., since they are literally in our social circles, parents of our children's friends, co-workers, family members, the cashier at the grocery store, and so on. Steer clear means....,avoid getting pulled in by them. Don't feel badly about not wanting to be around them (trust what your intuition is telling you-or your stomach in knots around them), distance yourself and keep things cordial. They'll move on and look for unsuspecting positive people they can prey on. Why do positive people get pulled in by negative people? Often positive people have loads of compassion but no radar telling them, "Caution-shark ahead!" Their radar may have been stunted during childhood, when they were told to be nice to everyone, play fair and never exclude anyone. Hey, being nice is one thing but toxic people that will hurt you are to be avoided. How many parents tell their children that? We do not have to be best friends with everyone. Protecting ourselves is as important as teaching our kids to swim, so they won't drown. We need to be aware, like the dolphin that senses danger and heads a different direction. Have you ever heard of a dolphin heading straight toward a shark....hoping to change the shark into a dolphin? Just ludicrous. Attention: Positive people....,be yourself, attract more kind people like yourself and stop trying to change sharks into dolphins, unless you want to be shark bait. Happy swimming.....
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