Releasing the Victim Energy

"Poor me," she said in her ongoing gripes about her husband. She didn't say that directly, but she implied it constantly in her list of complaints about how badly her husband treats her. We all know a woman like that, at least one if not more. He always has a commentary about how his boss knows nothing and he's smarter than his co-workers and if his boss had any brains, he'd be promoted because he's the brightest one there and the only one who knows what he's doing. We all know that guy too. His co-workers secretly despise him and he eventually gets fired and of course that's not his fault either. These people are victims. We have all been there, even slightly. Being a victim is the exact opposite of being empowered. Being negative is one thing as I mentioned in my previous article, but being a victim is a different kind of negativity. Victim energy keeps the person from feeling in control of one's life. Why would someone do that? Easy, because they are scared, don't feel strong enough to take charge and the easiest thing to do is to blame someone else. Some victims are exaggerating things and lying about how they are victimized, others actually attract abusers that hurt them physically or emotionally. The lesson is to gain the strength to grow from the experience and either set necessary boundaries or leave the situation. The problem is when victims, who might have had the chance to be positive...gain their own attention by now joining "Team Negative." Team negative means they can martyr themselves (showing everyone that they put up with their spouses abuses such as lying, cheating, etc), and they can torture their abuser with guilt. This victim cycle is negative for both partners. The victim sometimes covers for the abuser and often starts to harm others too through their increased negativity. Team negative grows stronger and you have two sides of the negative coin. One person being mean and belligerent and the spouse playing victim, acting like they have no other choice but to stay. We all know that nobody has to stay in a horrible situation. People make excuses to stay victims. Victims are sharks pretending to be dolphins. They are actually sharks too, perpetuating a vicious negative cycle. I don't want to give sharks a bad rap. No animal is bad or good. Each animal has different traits that we can learn from and use when needed. We all need a bit of shark sometimes to defend oneself and to protect one's territory when needed. Sharks are innovative, powerful, perceptive and represent survival. Negative people are trying to survive, using their defenses to do so. The problem is, negative people and victims do not feel powerful. Their manipulation, deceipt, "poor me," complaining and overall poor attitude covers up their vulnerabilities and fear. Their shark exterior is willing to hurt anyone who crosses them and they retaliate both intentionally or passive aggressively since their defense to cover up how weak they really feel. Ever watch reality TV or know a friend that comes off as the victim but never leaves her situation? Some of these women even lie in court about their abusers to stay connected to them. On a lighter note, many people have the lesson of victim to overcome. Even an empowered person can fall backwards occasionally and allow victim energy to attempt to lure them into negative feelings. The key, to take ownership of those feelings and to not let them have unnecessary power over you. This takes practice. Just like yoga takes time to master as each muscle needs lots of time to stretch until your core is stronger, feeling empowered and releasing the victim takes time and effort as well. If you are reading this and realize that you feel trapped in a victim cycle, ask yourself this: What are you afraid of if you released the victim? What gain are you garnishing from staying a victim. Do you like the life you've created by being negative or staying a victim? Even if you recognize areas on your life that you still feel like a victim, take the time to consciously acknowledge (and honor) the victim in you and set out to release the victim energy through breathe. Be patient and keep honoring yet releasing the victim each time you recognize it in your thoughts or behaviors. Shift into the dolphin mode and you immediately are calling on the energy of balance, change, love, freedom, trust, breathe and communication skills. You can be free of the victim if you really want to. Nobody is stopping you except yourself.