With The Wind

“Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it"...(Nicholas Sparks). I woke up this morning to a sad e-mail about the mom I wrote about in my last blog article. Her battle with Lou Gehrig's disease ended this week. I was overwhelmed with tears...thinking about her two beautiful 5 year old boys, missing their mommy. I thought about the struggle she went through over the past few years, facing her disease with such courage as her body continued to shut down a little more each day. I thought about her amazing husband, who cared for her in every way and who had to be a single dad much of the time, while watching his once vivacious wife become incapacitated. I saw him this morning at school and even though his sun glasses hid his tears, he smiled and hugged his boys, letting them know that their daddy is there for them and that they'll get through it together. I stood with him and cried as I offered my condolences and we hugged the type of hug that only grief can allow. His wife and the boys mommy is free now....allowed to travel like the wind. No longer mired down in a body that had shut down, she can spread her wings to fly. Now she is free to watch her boys grow from a different vantage point, from spirit. Her love will always be there, like the wind...swirling around her family, reminding them of the woman she was and the love she felt for them. Love does not disappear with death or time. It is the one constant in this world....it is a force like none other. Love survives anything and everything. I know that people often struggle with their own feelings around loss. I've watched as many disappear when a loss occurs. People are so overwhelmed and awkward that they just don't know what to do or say to someone who has just lost a loved one. Being genuine is the best gift you can offer someone grieving...and tears are a genuine part of loss. “Those things that hurt, instruct"..(Benjamin Franklin). “To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness”...(Erich Fromm). “Tears are the silent language of grief”...(Voltaire). I cry today in honor of an incredible soul who has soured out of this world into another. I cry to honor my own feelings of grief....feeling incredible compassion for her family, knowing that they miss her profoundly. I cry because it's really all I can do to express how I'm feeling right now. “Misfortune is never mournful to the soul that accepts it; for such do always see that every cloud is an angel's face"...(Lydia M. Child).

Right Here Waiting

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us"...(Joseph Campbell). I love nature and music. The picture for this article is a beautiful tree I pass every day on my hike. I don't always notice it because often I am lost in my thoughts, noticing other trees or listening to music on my iPod. One day recently, when my iPod was out of power and I was especially emotional, this tree caught my attention. As I admired the simplicity of it's beauty, I was reminded how we often do not notice the beautiful things right in front of us. This tree has always been there, just waiting patiently for me to notice it. Like the 80's song, "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx, some things in life are waiting patiently to be discovered. Even parts of relationships remain hidden. In fact, sometimes when relationships appear secure, you may be surprised to realize that there were things you ignored, things you never realized or new aspects that eventually blossom when you least expect it. I talk about love all of the time but now I'm questioning love....or trying to really grapple with some things about love. One thing I know for sure is that the only thing I can truly count on is this very moment. Nothing is sure in this world and so, I don't really plan my future anymore. I live for today. As for love, it's always in my heart but I'm aware enough to know that I cannot control anything or anyone outside of myself. I really do try to just ride the waves of uncertainty. Sometimes the waves are overwhelming and appear threatening and other times, the waves are perfectly calm. I just go with the flow as much as possible. Oh sure, sometimes I question those darn waves and say..."hey, I thought this wouldn't happen." But then, I come back to my senses and try to laugh, even while I may be crying, knowing that this is the way life goes. I went to an event last night for CoachArt, an organization that pairs artists, dancers, musicians and athletes with chronically ill children. I was very impressed with their philosophy. Listening to families tell their stories about their chronically ill children was inspiring. Even the children spoke about their lives with such courage and strength. They are a teachers for all of us...teaching us that life is just uncertain. There are no absolutes and cherish everything you have, even as you are listing the numerous complaints you may have of what you don't have and what you seem to be missing. Even something as basic as one's health is to be cherished if that is what you have even while you may be struggling in other area of your life. A mom at my sons school inspires me as well. She has ALS disease (also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease), an illness which has rendered her unable to move and she is unable to speak. Wheelchair bound, she uses a computer to talk to her kids and even though her mind is as sharp as a tack, her body has pretty much shut down. She cannot even hold and kiss her young boys. I watch her in awe because she is facing her disease with courage. She watches them play and even though observing is all she can do...she does it with pride. You can tell by the look in her eyes that she cherishes every day she has left to at least watch her children. That is what it's all about....facing life with courage and strength and taking whatever comes your way with stride. That mother thought that she'd get to be just like all of the other moms, walking them to school, running errands, cuddling her kids and being there for them as they grow up. Life threw her a curve ball and even though her body will give out sooner than later, she faces each day with gratitude and uses her time wisely. It's all we really have....today. So, my reflection today is that I'm right here waiting for whatever life throws my way. I'm ready because as silly as it sounds, nobody and nothing can ever break my spirit. I love life and I have love and compassion to offer as my gift. I can't take away peoples pain, their heartaches or their fears....but I can try to remind them that this too shall pass and to just be grateful for what they may have going for them. The tree in this article doesn't flinch when storms head it's direction, it just enjoys the sun while its shining and weathers the storms until they pass. It offers shade and peace to those who take notice because those are the gifts this tree can offer. Nature knows that life is beautiful, no matter what the weather shows. Even a good storm can be an amazing sight. "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth"...(Ayn Rand).