Where do I begin? I haven't written in awhile. I have not been inspired, although I always have plenty to say. I've been processing the past intensely and letting things go. It's an important lesson for us all. I wrote a text to my ex today, summing up my gratitude for our past, because I honestly wouldn't change a thing about my past choices. How do we reconcile regret, when we have the ability to look back and wonder how our lives might look had we made different choices. The idea that we can reflect back with 20/20 vision is true however, those many past choices we have made throughout our lives, which threw us into a lot of messes just may have been messes that ultimately brought us beauty. One of the teens I am counseling said to me last week, "Life is so messed up!" My reply, "Life is messy. that's what makes it so beautiful." It was sort of an epiphany for me in that moment. I also heard an interesting statement from an astrologer recently. He said, "Divine fate trumps free will." He meant that although we have free will, our divine destiny will override our free will, guiding us to where we need to be and what we need to experience for our soul to meet its purpose. Of course free will is the part where the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink," seems to prevail. So, divine destiny may keep trying to help you get what your heart desires, but your pain keeps you repeating old patterns, keeping your hearts desires just out of reach. Of course if people just deal with their pain, and honestly reflect on the ways in which they keep themselves stuck, they would find that nothing is ever really out of reach. People are often surprised to find out that everything they ever wanted was right in front of them all along but they just couldn't see it. The other part of that is trust. People get caught up in images of what they want their lives to look like. Those images may be the very problem. It's like how the media send messages of what a perfect life looks like. People spend a lot of time and money making their homes beautiful, trying to create a beautiful life. Those same people are devastated when they wake up one day and realize that their lives are a mess, and that all the beautiful decor and furniture is a sham. Some people never wake up and they just live in their lies until they die. The lucky ones wake up and set out to demolish false images and pretenses. Living honestly means that everything isn't pretty all of the time. In fact, an honest life has more thorns than roses on most days, but that's the beauty in it. Look at a bouquet of roses and there are many more thorns, yet the beauty of the roses is what we see. Beauty is always present in life if you choose to see it. Following your heart means there is no destination, because you are already there. Think about that, you don't have to search, wonder, daydream or do more work, because if you are living in your heart, you are already there and the rest will just unfold. Letting go of what you thought your life would look like, opens up endless possibilities. On the other hand, holding on to a fixed view of what your life should be does the opposite, it closes off all of the wonderful possibilities and keeps you stuck. The heart wants to love and wants to live honestly, its the rest of the defenses that get in the way. I can tell you after counseling many thousands of people, the problems only arise when emotions are cut off and the heart and feelings aren't allowed expression. When emotions are cut off, all sorts of problems manifest for the individual. So here we are all, contemplating our past and wondering about our futures. Process the past, feel the past and then let it teach you something, but don't let it hold you back. Let go also of what you want your future to look like. Have you ever gone house hunting with one image in mind, only to be surprised that you fell in love with other homes, ones that surprised you? Don't be one of those people that go house hunting and are rigid about what they want to a fault and end up with the home that fit their image, but after they move in they discover home has plumbing problems, there are termites, and the house becomes the money pit.
Instead, be open to possibilities but always let the heart lead the way. We are entering into a time to get all that we ever wanted, but we have to remain true to ourselves every step of the way.
