Give Thanks

The English colonists we call Pilgrims celebrated days of Thanksgiving as part of their religion. But interestingly, those were originally days of prayer, not days of feasting. This Thanksgiving, I am celebrating life at Disney World. Having so much fun can be exhausting, but worth every minute of it. Disney World is an interesting experience. It is easy to see why it is the happiest place on earth. The employees do everything with a smile and a friendly attitude. If only real life could be like that the rest of the time. Even the patrons are friendly. All of the friendliness and wonder rubs off on absolutely everyone. Long lines, no problem because people wait patiently and even kids are in good spirits while they are in line. It is an amazing sight. You really do not see cranky people. When kids get tired they sleep in their strollers. It’s pretty cute to see a long line of strollers mid-day and after 9 pm with lots of little ones catching some Z’s. I even observed a couple of adults sleeping on benches, sleeping on the bus and one adult took the opportunity to catch a nap in a stroller. I know people are on vacation and with that, people are just more patient and accommodating. But overall the energy of Disney is contagious. It’s just difficult to be cranky in such a magical place with so many friendly people around you. It is a great example of how the attitude of those around you affect everyone else. Walt Disney knew what he was doing in creating a place where everyone could feel special and child like. It is the example of how life should be.......friendly, magical, playful and creative. Everyone just goes with the flow. When you arrive they greet you with a "welcome home." I love that. The message and lesson, anywhere you are, in that given moment is your home for the time being. It is just another reminder of being in the moment. If you think about it, we really don’t technically own anything. Everything is merely energy in transition, coming in and out of our lives. You can’t take it with you, so really, all we have is the given moment we are in immediately. So yes, Disney is our home for now. There is a wonderful movie by Frank Capra called, You Can’t Take It With You, about a family that lives life in the moment, following their wishes and dreams. It is a sweet movie, very Disneyish, with a very inspiring message. The pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for. Life was hard back then and they truly had to live in the moment, being grateful for safety, food and the opportunity for a new beginning. On this Thanksgiving, when we text greetings on our iphones or similar, fly across country to see relatives, watch DVD’s, and eat too much food, remember those who paved the way for us to have the lives, freedom and progress we have today. Many people have laid down their lives for the liberty we have. In addition, many people are currently struggling, feeling lost, alone and hopeless during this time of the year. I send a blessing out to everyone, may this Thanksgiving bring you a sense of peace and abundance of spirit.....and may we all be united in love. As I sit at Disney World eating my Thanksgiving meal, I will feel deeply grateful for the opportunity to experience such a special place during this holiday. I bet the pilgrims would have been amazed by Disney World for it brings alive the spirit of unity, joy and prosperity, everything the new world offered them so many years ago. Be thankful this Thanksgiving and send out your own blessing, like the original pilgrims did back in the 1600's. "Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul"....(Henry Ward Beecher). "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them"...(John Fitzgerald Kennedy).

Let's Have Fun

The journey of life is full of lessons, many of which are difficult, but the reward....the lesson of good clean fun. What would it all be for if we couldn't have fun! When my oldest, now nine was three, I asked him what he liked about being here. His answer was simple, "I like all the stuff." He still loves the toys, especially Lego's and of course his DSi. My daughter likes being here to play and socialize. The toys never really appealed to her. My youngest is a combination of the two, he likes his toys but equally loves to socialize. We also call him Casanova because he loves to kiss and hug. I'll have to keep a very close eye on him when he reaches adolescence. My kids picked a good mommy this time around, because I am the queen of fun. My girlfriend recently joked that she is going to pick me as her mom in her next life. I love to take the kids on weekend trips, outings bowling, mini-golfing and to the movies. We are heading to Disney World this week for lots and lots of fun. Sometimes fun does not have to cost a lot of money. We absolutely love to play card games like hearts. As soon as my kids could hold the cards, they were at the table playing with us. Baking cookies is fun, the cost is minimal and of course the end result is yummy. Dancing around the living room is fun and helps the kids sleep better at night. Music is just lots of fun anyway, whether it's dancing incognito around the house, out at a club or going to a concert. Backyard camp outs are free and lots of fun. Yeah, my back kinda aches after sleeping in the fort, but it's worth it. My girlfriend has lots of fun playing catch with her kids. I look on Facebook and lots of people look like they are having fun. I notice that sports are a big past time for many. I grew up in a household of all girls, so sporting events never made my list of fun things to do. I also notice on Facebook that many others are traveling to cool places, having fun with their kids and family and some are even sky diving. All of those things sound like lots of fun. I enjoyed the movie Yes Man, because a formerly "poor me" guy turns into a social maniac, when he begins to say yes to life and starts having fun. Life is about so many things, but without fun, it can get pretty boring and monotonous. Going with the flow can be fun, when you allow fun to be with any opportunity, especially when it is something unexpected. Why can't we have fun everyday. I notice too many people so serious all the time. A mom at the pediatricians office was chastising her son for having too much fun. He was just making quiet noises, while he was playing with the train set. I've counseled many individuals who told me how they were yelled at as kids for playing too loudly, laughing too much or getting too excited. No wonder so many people are afraid to have fun. They were conditioned to be quiet, be serious and stop being so childish. Oh come on.....let's all be a little childish! So this week when I am at Disney, you can bet I will be screaming louder than my kids! That is why Disney is so appealing, because it brings out the child in all of us. My motto, have fun as often as possible, not only at Disney. Life is an adventure, full of ups and downs, so never ever forget, to have lots of fun along the way! "In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed"...(Sid Caesar).

The Journey of Health

"Every human being is the author of his own health or disease"...(Buddha). I always find that the journey of illness and health is a lesson of taking care of oneself. I watch so many people denying one owns health and the importance of focusing time and energy to stay healthy. I too have been guilty of working and staying busy, even when my body is trying to tell me to slow down. We all have so much to do that we deny the messages of our intuition, indicating that more rest may be needed. It seems that it is only when the symptoms are undeniable that people succumb to listening to their bodies, but often the symptoms are so severe at that point and may have manifested into major illnesses or disease. How many people have neglected early warning signs and ended up with migraine headaches, back problems, flu and infections all worsened by pushing through symptoms instead of slowing down earlier. I see it all of the time.....adults absolutely neglecting themselves. Many do not go to the doctor, but would have their child there at the first sign of a symptom. Many people go to work sick, even with fevers, chills and extreme pain, when they would have kept their children home for milder symptoms. I have done it myself, tried to will myself into health. Okay, there is positive thinking and there is denial. Once the symptoms kick in, rest and positive thinking are required. Symptoms are your bodies way of saying, "hey, we are under attack and need some rest to get through this." I have gotten much better at listening and respecting the messages my body tells me. I come across so many people who look exhausted, exhibiting clear signs of illness as they say, "hey, I have no time to get sick." Well, the body will get your attention, one way or another. Clearly at that point, the more you ignore the symptoms, the more likely it is that you will be hit harder. I have also counseled many individuals who have used illnesses to get attention. In those cases, their underlying emotional insecurities prevented them from getting healthy. Either way, whether people are using illnesses to fulfill needs or neglecting themselves, either way their emotions drastically affect their approach to health and wellness. Bernie Siegel MD, revolutionized the idea that your thoughts and feelings affect your bodies ability to respond to cancer and treatments in his book, Love, Medicine and Miracles. In the book by Caroline Myss and Dr. Norman Shealy, The Creation of Health, they reflect on the deep connection between emotional dysfunction and physical illness. The book describes the role that emotional disturbances play in the most common diseases and ailments, from influenza, the common cold, and arthritis to diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. The mind-body connection is more of a mainstreamed concept these days and the holistic alternative healing arena is now a billion dollar industry. Commonly cited examples of alternative medicine include naturopathy, chiropractic, herbalism, traditional Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, Reiki, meditation, yoga, biofeedback, hypnosis, homeopathy, acupuncture, and diet-based therapies, in addition to a range of other practices. The root idea to alternative medicine is that the body displays symptoms rooted in emotional and physical dysfunction. One cannot be addressed without looking at the other as the mind and body are one, affecting each other, not separate from one another. We all know that pain, injury and illness certainly affect our emotions and concurrently, our thoughts and feelings affect our physical health. So with that said, take care of your health. As for me, I am resting today, napping, watching movies and reflecting. I have the flu and have heeded the warnings to slow down and follow my own advice. When symptoms start to appear, get some rest, see a doctor or research alternative options. Overall, preventative care is always the best approach by eating well, exercising, taking care of your emotional wellness, relaxation, rest and a good laugh. The journey to optimal health is in your hands......are you taking good care of yourself?

Just One of Those Days

The journey in life brings all of us one of those days. You know what I am talking about, the kind of day where it starts out with one plan in mind and goes completely in the opposite direction. I had to laugh when I got into my car at 9:30 pm to run to the store, after the crazy day I've had and the Wilson-Phillips song was playing, "Hold on for one more day...and things will go your way." It was another lesson in going with the flow, but this time Vermont was not involved. You see, tomorrow we were all set to fly to Orlando, Florida for a week at Disney World, the happiest place on earth and our first trip there. The glitch....my four year old has been sick all week with what turns out to be the flu and has a cough that could stop a Mack truck! Today's quick trip to see the doctor for a follow up visit, sent our Disney plans on a detour. The doc suggested that we give my son's cough three more days to get better, thanks to a nebulizer, rest and antibiotics. Okay, since I am the queen of go with the flow, no big deal, we make some phone calls and reschedule the trip for next week. It has overall been a week of go with the flow. Since he has been sick, I have had to cancel at least 15 client sessions, I'm behind on all of my e-mails and phone calls and now need to rebook this trip to leave early next week. NO PROBLEM. A venti skim mocha later and squeezing calls in to the airlines, travel agent and being on hold forever (all between client sessions), we managed to change everything, relatively easily to a Monday departure. It seems that most of my clients today had one of those days too. One client showed up late and told me how she spilled her entire lunch of chicken noodle soup all over her lap! My earlier client missed her session because she was stuck at the DMV for several hours. Another client completely forgot about her appointment and another got rear ended on her way to session. All of this occurred before 6pm. I then had to cancel some of my later appointments because my son was crying so badly from the cough, that all he wanted was mommy. The interesting thing, the attitude of my parents who are joining us on this trip, was initially completely the opposite! They seemed worried about the whole thing and brought up all of the fear and doubt. Emotions run high when people are in fear. The fears they vented about, "what if someone else gets sick, our airlines won't change the tickets, what if you end up cancelling, we might still get the flu on the plane." You have to keep in mind that they also forwarded us an e-mail advising us to wear sneakers on the plane in case we crash and need to walk through debris. Hmm, I think if we crash, I won't need sneakers to walk into the afterlife. Debris would not be one of my concerns. You get the idea of the fear based thinking and it is the opposite of go with the flow. To be fair, my parents are not the only ones who react that way, since so many people jump into fear based thinking as their initial response to stressors. That is the reality many people live in.......I prefer my reality. We can't predict the future, so all we can go with is what we know today. With a positive attitude and hope that my son will feel better, we are all set to depart next week. The upside is, I have some clients in desperate need to be seen and I am now able to squeeze them in before Monday and hopefully I will catch up on some billing this weekend. Instead of focusing on the stress of the changes, we adapted, made the changes and are directing our energy to what we have to look forward to. Even my parents finally decided to go with the flow and figured out a way to adapt to the whole situation. The kids were completely fine with the changes and nobody threw a tantrum or got upset. It was another lesson in coping with the unexpected. So when life throws you into an unintended direction, find a way to cope with the situation as positively as possible. It makes everything go so much more smoothly. Here is your challenge....when you have one of those days, which you will, catch yourself and face it with optimism and a smile (and a bit of chocolate if needed).

Soulmates

I rented the movie, The Ugly Truth. I had seen it in the movie theatre but enjoyed it so much, I had to see it it again. The idea in the movie is that the girl wants to attract a guy and a brash, unedited man shows her what men really want. It's pretty funny. In the end, it turns out that they fall in love and they both want someone who loves them just for who they are....with no pretenses or facades. What a great lesson, to attract a partner whom appreciates you for just being yourself and vise versa. That is certainly one type of soulmate connection, based on mutual attraction and caring. There are various lessons involved in any type of relationship. Sometimes the lesson is of security, other times it is romance, passion and love or a combination of some or all of them. Each relationship a person is involved in is a lesson, whether it be a romantic, marriage or even friendship or work related partnerships. The issue with any relationship dynamic is figuring out what those lessons are. Some people will have the lesson of security and learn to take care of or receive care from another. I have seen many couples with the lessons of balancing power. Sometimes, relationships are lessons in becoming more secure with oneself and understanding insecurity through the partner you chose. Often, once you have learned what is optimal for your souls growth, the relationship will break apart or enter a new phase and will undergo many changes to shift the roles and the dynamics. Either way, change is inevitable in any relationship. Profound soul connections come in all forms of relationships such as parent/child, siblings, friendships and business partners as well as romantic attachments. Lessons abound in every single relationship and dynamic. According to Lauren Thibodeau, in her book Natural-Born Soulmates, "No matter how powerful you become in your ability to live in the moment, to surrender attachments, to assess soulmate situations and use your free will and your inner wisdom to create your life, lessons are part of the journey. Learning to embrace those lessons, to see the lessons of passion, potential, purpose, pacing, and problem solving as opportunities to show your best self will also transform those very lessons." Relationships are a wonderful opportunity to experience an array of emotions and play various roles. If you follow your heart, it will lead the way to the soul connections that you can learn the most from. I often have single clients, complain about how long it is taking them to find a soulmate....or any meaningful relationship. There are lessons in being alone as well as the short lived, fleeting relationships. In addition some soul searching may be necessary to be sure that ones own fears are not getting in the way of attracting what you want. If you are in a long term relationship, your lesson may be to not fall into boredom and complacency. All relationships need to be worked on and have some attention paid to them. I have counseled many people actively engaged in affairs. It is always best to energetically end the relationship you are in first....legalities may take some time. Set the needed boundary in your current relationship by stating clearly that the relationship is over, so that no further confusion or misunderstandings occur. More damage always seems to occur when couples are not honest with each other about the state of their relationship and they go through the pretenses instead of being clear with one another. The difficulty comes when couples break apart. It is heartbreaking to watch couples disintegrate. No wonder couples often create drama and display anger. It is very sad and difficult to walk away from unions, so people do it in messy ways. But, overall sometimes relationships need to end, because it is in the best interest for the growth of the individuals. You should not consider yourself a failure if a relationship ends. Often it takes several relationships to learn the important lessons in your life. Guilt and blame are not useful.....the ego holds court and blames either yourself or the other. As for the continued search for romantic soul connections.....lots and lots of patience. Anything in life truly worthy is worth waiting for. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye"...(Antoine de Saint-Exupery). As usual, my conclusion when it comes to relationships........learn from the journey and follow your heart, it always knows the way. What are the next lessons you need to learn in your next relationship or the one you are currently in?

I'm Not Perfect

When I was younger, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. With wisdom has come much clarity and acceptance that perfection is an illusion. What a relief to not have to be perfect! I teach a class called "Clear Your Clutter" yet my desk, car and garage have been known to be cluttered. The upside of a cluttered trunk in my mini-van is that I always have my hiking shoes and backpack ready for a spontaneous hike and can find spare clothes for the kids in a pinch. I have incredible patience, but.....after my three kids have been screaming and fighting incessantly, I can even lose it once in awhile. I am always behind on my paperwork and billing. I somehow manage to juggle what seems like a million things and once in awhile, something gets missed. We have missed several homework assignments, because I did not look thoroughly through the endless paperwork that comes home in the kids backpacks. Thank you cards for kids birthday parties may or may not get out. I did streamline that one and started handing out thank you cards AT the party as the kids and parents were leaving. Some parents praised me on that idea and said they are going to start using that little trick too. I have to congratulate myself though, because I manage to get a heck of a lot done, compared to what little actually gets missed. You see, not being perfect has its perks. If you focus on what you are getting done, rather than feeling terrible about what you forgot....you end up feeling pretty good at the end of the day. My kids know that I am not perfect and I don't expect them to be. If they spill their juice, they clean it up because it's no big deal. They work on being responsible, but they are realistic as are we, about what that entails. My son knows that he should give his work his all...but some days, his all may be 50 percent capacity. Isn't that true for all of us. I have my stellar, full of energy days where I feel like I have had 20 cups of coffee and accomplish so much. Other days, I can barely manage to get through the day with getting one to two things done. Our energy levels peak and wane, so relaxing on the perfection issue can be one less pressure. I just can't keep up with the whole, perfect mom syndrome. I watch moms compete for the best dressed or brightest children contest. I refuse to compete.....way too much pressure for the kids and just plain illusion for the parents. I am proud of my 6 year old tomboy daughter with her torn, baggy jeans and her surf board motif t-shirt with probably some stains on it. What the heck, I've gotta let her be herself! If my youngest begs to wear his PJ's to school, we strike a deal and he wears his Spiderman jammie shirt with his jeans. Who can blame him? That Spiderman shirt is pretty cool! So on a good day, you might catch me with a clean car and I look pretty put together. On a crazy day, that's another story. You'll probably see me at Starbucks grabbing a Venti coffee, a little haggard from the morning, running late for work. Stacy and Clinton, from the show What Not To Wear would have crucified me today for wearing sweatpants, an over sized sweatshirt and a baseball cap to get coffee. Perfection is the illusion of the ego and a heck of a lot of pressure. Sure, there are times when striving for the best can be important, like in competitive sports or in your career. It can motivate us to work harder and strive for our goals. But overall in life and with oneself, perfection is a goal one can never really reach. It is the little secret in life I wish I had been told when I was 13. DON'T TRY TO BE PERFECT!!! Enjoy your non-perfection....bask in it and just plain enjoy being you. "The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique"....(Walt Disney).

The Dark Night of the Soul

Heading into the unknown can bring about a spiritual and emotional crisis called the dark night of the soul. "Dark Night of the Soul is the title of a poem written by 16th century Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross. The expression has since become a metaphor used to describe a phase in a person's spiritual life, marked by a sense of loneliness and desolation. It is referenced by spiritual traditions throughout the world, but in particular by Christianity"...(Wikipedia). The crisis is really about letting go of the ego and trusting your heart. When you listen to your soul you let go of the ego controlling, ego centered existence. The battle between the ego and the true self is the dark night of the soul. It can lead some into a phase of feeling lost, disconnected and wandering. The dark night of the soul is considered to be a blessing in disguise. Only with feeling completely lost, can you let go of everything you were clinging to for dear life. The spiritual journey of awakening often requires a shifting of old roles, self perceptions and outdated behaviors. The phase can last hours, days, weeks, months or years. It depends on how much the ego is still tying to fight for control. The battle eventually resolves and the individual emerges more alert, aware and in touch with higher consciousness. The journey for humanity at this very important time is to awaken. "One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night"...(Kahlil Gibran). Perhaps the world is going through the dark night of the soul of sorts. With 2012 approaching, the new energy is urging all of humanity to become more aware. Awakening is about heading into uncharted territory. As Eckhart Tolle writes in A New Earth, "When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change....If uncertainty is unacceptable to you it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity." People in the dark night of the soul might label themselves as depressed. It just may be however, that life has urged or forced you in a new direction and you are fighting the inevitable. Remember the ego wants comfortable, status quo and the old order even if those things were no longer optimal for the growth of your consciousness. When life throws you on a new path by losing your job, your spouse leaving you, or any other changes....you are being urged to release the ego and resist fighting for control. You may even be the one making the decisions to quit your job, end a relationship or move to a new location.....by following your heart you trust the higher purpose of your journey. Truly trusting that each lesson is what is best for your souls growth is about honoring whatever is happening in your life right now. Being in the moment is the lesson and becoming aware of your true self underneath the ego's desire for control. I know that in my own life, I have cycled in and out of the dark night of the soul over the past several years. It forced me to reassess my life on all levels and I emerged with numerous answers and increased clarity. The clarity also meant that I would have to make many changes. No wonder my own ego fought for awhile, trying to preserve a sense of security. "On life's journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter, wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life nothing can destroy him; If he has conquered greed nothing can limit his freedom"....(Buddha). Do not fear if change is upon you and you have entered the dark night of the soul. It is the opportunity to emerge strengthened, with increased hope and a new direction. The new path can bring unlimited possibilities and with your true self leading the way, a sense of purpose unfolds. If awakening is upon you, then change is inevitable and some of the battles with the ego self are bound to happen......so be in the moment and know that each and every moment is a lesson in awakening. "The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation"...(Joseph Campbell).

Imagine

"Imagine all the people living life in peace"... (John Lennon). Today's blog article is inspired by the song Imagine, by John Lennon. Of course I had heard the song many times before, but around a year ago, it was played at a funeral and the words really struck me. I don't think I had really listened to the words before. The words to Imagine are as meaningful and profound today in 2009 as they were in 1971, when the song was written. The song transcends all time. The funeral was for a very special man and his favorite song was Imagine. He died much too young from cancer. He had an enormous heart connection, was unpretentious and helped everyone around him. He taught everyone he came in contact with, to never judge a book by its cover. He appeared pretty gruff on the outside but was the biggest teddy bear on the inside. Before he died, he hoped and imagined that people would be more caring and humane. He never understood how selfish and judgemental people could be. I imagine too, a world with more compassion and love. A world where neighbors, friends and family help each other out and kindness is the rule, not the exception. My nine year son imagines a world where people honor the planet earth by recycling, conserving energy and reducing pollution. The children need the world to be one of hope, promise and unity. John Lennon imagined some wonderful things for us and the world we live in. Let's always imagine for the world to be a better place.......Like Martin Luther King Jr, so famously said, "I have a dream." Imagine the best in yourself and dream it into reality. It starts with each one of us and we all make a difference. Begin by imagining that anything is possible.......


Imagine lyrics: By John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

(Imagine all the people sharing all the world)

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

2012

The new movie, 2012 opens today. As much as I love a good movie, this will be one that I skip. The whole idea of movies like this one is to stir up fear. I have read quite a few books on the subject and the consensus seems to be that 2012 is about change, shifting and transformation. If you do a search on Google for 2012, there are over 207 million sites that come up. Obviously, there are a lot of theories and discussion on this issue. No matter what, going into fear based thinking on this will not serve any purpose. The Mayan Calendar shows an ending....but an ending can be a transformation and a new beginning. I don't need to get into all of the numerous theories about 2012. Obviously with so many web sites out there, you can do your own research. Here is a summary of some of the theories. Leading Astrologists have analyzed the year 2012 and it does show a unique configuration of the planets, called the finger of god or yod, which signals a new energy or a turning point. The media will certainly over play the doomsday theory and perpetuate fear based ideas. When does the media ever try to calm the masses? They do the exact opposite, so be wary of any shows that try to get you to start building bunkers or assume that the world will end in 2012. Think about all of the fear generated by the media regarding Y2K or the Cold War. Fear will get you nowhere...except more afraid. "2012 is an astronomical, astrological shift in the consciousness of planet Earth which began at the Harmonic Convergence of August 1987. It is an rare evolutionary opportunity for us all to create a new paradigm, not the single cataclysmic event which the media seems fixated on. MANY Light workers and shamans on Earth as well as in Spirit are holding space for a smooth labor for the rebirth of humanity from the carbon based beings we are to crystalline beings we are becoming..." (Gail Gorelick November 13,2009). In the book, 2012 Awakening, by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa, they ask, "Are you ready to fully awaken from the dream? Ready or not, you are waking up!" They contend that we have a choice, choosing spiritual awakening over Armageddon. The other choices, love over judgement and authenticity over fear. Seems more assuring than doom and gloom. "You have the societal self and the spiritual self, and you must decide which one is sacred. Let your intuitive self become your authority (Bringers of The Dawn, Barbara Marcinak)." The challenge, to stay calm in the center of the storm. Fear based theories will probably start to inundate us up until December 31, 2012. Again, each and every day we all have a choice, to remain centered, follow our hearts and avoid the pitfalls of fear, worry and doubt. "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path (Buddha)." It is our journey....each one of us can choose the path we desire. If fear is what you gravitate towards, that is your choice. Be aware of your choices however and understand that we are all here to grow and learn. In the book, The Great Shift, The Hathors' message is that, "It is so simple, it is forgotten....Find a way to live your life in joy and happiness." In the book, 2013, Jay Allen suggests, "I believe our future is in our own hands as we are all co-creators in the game of life, not only for our own futures, but the future of the world." Remember, children are going to be hearing about 2012 on television and in school. It is up to all of us to calm their fears. A new energy is upon us, so embrace the changes, try not to fear and continue to explore who you are and why you are here.

Adapt and Adjust

One year ago, my sister moved in with us with her black lab, Dudley. We have no pets, so it was an adjustment suddenly having a dog living with us. Two of my kids took some time warming up to Dudley, but my youngest took immediately to him. Dudley, being from California was getting use to the Connecticut weather and surroundings. He had woods to run around in and had to adjust to the wild turkeys and deer roaming freely across our property. It really was an adjustment for everyone. One night, I was having dreams of skunks. At one point I woke up and wondered if a skunk had sprayed right outside the master bedroom. In the morning, I went downstairs and wow the smell of skunk seemed to be getting stronger. I called out to my sister and she and Dudley came upstairs from the finished basement. The smell of skunk almost knocked me over at that point! I looked at my sister and said, "why does Dudley and our entire house smell like skunk?" Her eyes grew wide and she realized that when she had taken Dudley out for his midnight potty break, that he must have been sprayed at that time. She said that he had seemed spooked when he ran back to her. You see, she has such bad sinus problems, that she can't smell anything!! She had spent the entire night cuddling Dudley to calm him down, not realizing that he was reeking of skunk. My dreams had been correct, our house had been skunked. Over night while Dudley was in the basement, the smell of skunk went up through the ventilation system, penetrating every area of our three story home. When my husband ran out to get coffee that morning, the waitresses looked around and said, "what is that smell?" "That's me," my husband responded. We all smelled of skunk for days. My kids lunch boxes were banned from the school and had to sit outside the classrooms. Luckily, they were still allowed in school, even though their friends said they smelled. My kids were pretty resilient and did not take it too personally. It was quite an ordeal and it took weeks to get the skunk smell down to a minimum. According to Ted Andrews in the book Animal Wise, "When the skunk appears, opportunities will open to bring self-esteem and respect." I love the book Animal-Speak. It is a great resource regarding messages, signs and symbols from animals. The overall message was clear enough. We all had to adjust to the changes in our lives. The line in the movie Forest Gump says it best, "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." We eventually all had a good laugh over the experience and Dudley will hopefully steer clear of skunks. Poor Dudley had a lot to adjust to as well. He had to cope with numerous tic bites, Lyme disease and my then three year old trying to ride him like a horsey. All changes in life come with adjustments and stresses, that's just part of new experiences. The lesson in Dudley and the skunk.........when changes occur in your life, expect the unexpected and learn to adapt and adjust.

The Simple Things

It is amazing how good it feels to wash my car.....or should I say more clearly, my mini-van. With three kids, you can only imagine how disgusting it can begin to look after a few days. On a side note, I never imagined that I would be driving a mini-van! It is one of those things you rarely aspire to in life. I went very begrudgingly into the mini-van arena. It was only after my third child was born that I quickly realized I was fighting a losing battle. Once I gave in however.....I was a changed woman. You have no idea how heavenly it is when your kids are screaming and you can just load em up quickly, when you have automatic doors. In addition, that DVD player is an absolute life saver!! That is one of the simple things I cannot live without. It assures me for the most part that I will have peaceful driving. I do not know how parents from the past survived without mini-vans and DVD players. Oh sure, kids will be kids and there will still be fighting over what movie to put on and which headphones are best. Another simple thing is cleaning. Clearing clutter and cleaning our spaces can help us feel lighter, brighter and just elevate our mood quicker than anything. When life feels crazy and out of control, cleaning can immediately help restore some sense of order in our lives. In Feng Shui, clearing clutter and cleaning is considered to be an energy "cure," meant to positively shift the chi considerably. When you want a quick pick me up, clean your car, desk or kitchen counter. It's a simple thing, but can help a lot! A nice cup of iced coffee, one pump chocolate-skim-cafe mocha (I am high maintenance sometimes), or skim cappuccino can really make my day. Of course a nice piece of dark chocolate (Sees candy is my favorite, but sadly, there are no Sees in CT), can put a smile on my face. Other simple things, a hug or kiss from my kids. Those kisses and hugs are the best!! Music can absolutely make my day. I love my inspirational music, but a good dance song like Miley Cyrus, Party in the USA will do the trick too. I especially love watching my four year old dance and sing to, Still Not a Player, by Big Pun. You haven't lived until you've heard the words rapped by a little guy (who sounds like Elmer Fudd), "I'm not a player, I just crush a lot....for my thugs." Going to a good movie is a simple thing that I have enjoyed since my childhood. It is a wonderful escape from the world, and a great way to laugh, cry, be inspired, feel suspense and overall great entertainment. Journalling is a simple thing I always recommend to clients and I do almost every day. It is a great way to get your feelings out, have some clarity and overall help you vent. It's the easiest and cheapest form of therapy available. Enjoying nature is a simple thing that can calm the spirit. Sometimes, when you have no time to go to a park, just sitting in a grassy area, looking at or buying flowers, or staring at the night sky can give you a bit of nature. Kindness is a simple thing that can elevate your mood. As a friend of mine wrote on Facebook, sometimes being kind to yourself can be the best gift of all. She is right, be nice to yourself each and every day, it's that simple. A good book is a simple thing too. I just started reading, "The Shack," after many people recommended it. There are so many simple things in life to enjoy. Each and every day pay attention to smallest things that give you joy or make you smile and allow life to be enhanced by all of the simple things.

The Communication Dance

Communication is a dance of sorts. Sometimes, the communication flows nicely like a waltz or two-step, when both people are in sync. Other times, communication can be off balance and out of sync. It's sort of like when one person is dancing to the beat of a Jay-Z song and the other one is dancing to Celine Dion. One type of communication between people that signals trouble, passive aggressiveness. Okay, we've all done it......been somewhat passive aggressive. Since most everyone is guilty of it, let's understand it a bit more. It's really a form of communication and is about acting out, passively. A client of mine complained recently, how her husband says he'll be home at 8, but ends up home at 10. He doesn't call or respond to calls or texts. That is passive aggressive. A friend asks you to help her move. You really want to say no, but you say yes. When she keeps calling to remind you of the moving date, you avoid the calls. That's passive aggressive. A client does not want to tell his wife how angry he is at her. When holidays and birthdays come, he conveniently forgets to get her something. That's passive aggressive. It is communication through avoidance, trying to not rock the boat or cause conflict. When you act out passively, you are still sending a message loud and clear. Many times you are conscious of it and other times you are not. People have a tough time communicating or owning how they really feel. Sometimes, they are aware of what they are doing and just want to retaliate, plain and simple. If you are not completely aware of your anger, then denial is in operation. Either way, the result is anger. if you ever find yourself getting frustrated at someones actions, when they have acted passive aggressively toward you, they will often minimize the situation saying, "You are blowing this way out of proportion." I have witnessed spouses going at it with each other full steam, when one has been behaving passive aggressively. It sometimes produces more damage, mistrust and resentment than active, aggressive anger. Why do so many people communicate this way? It starts in childhood. As children, we watch parents act passive aggressively. You hear, "Don't tell your dad I went shopping," or you witness adults avoiding telling each other how they really feel, always skirting the issues. Even children start acting that way. They figure out real quickly how to avoid getting into trouble, if they just tell you what you want to hear. Thus, the dynamic is born and they are off and running. Many adults are not communicating......or should I say, they are communicating via avoidance and passive aggressiveness. To improve the dance of communication, one has to stop their part in passive aggressiveness and avoidance. First step, communicate clearly. Even if you fear the other persons reaction....at least take responsibility for how you are feeling. If someone acts passive aggressively toward you, don't take it personally and again, direct communication is best. Let the other person know you are aware of their passive aggressiveness and don't be surprised when they deny it or try reverse tactics. Communication can be tricky at times, but be true to yourself, try to dance verbally with integrity and respect.....and know that there are always two perspectives and the truth often lies somewhere in the middle. "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him (Buddha)." Once in awhile, you will still step on each others toes, but be aware of your part in any type of communication and the dance will go much more smoothly.

Scrooge

I went to see the new movie, A Christmas Carol, tonight with my kids. My daughter was a little confused with the whole, ghost from the past, present and future thing, but we all enjoyed it nonetheless. The story is a classic and I never tire of it. I have seen just about every version ever made and the timelessness of the tale is inspiring. We have all come across Scrooges in our lives and perhaps, even in our darkest moments, we have all acted a bit like Scrooge. He is bitter, angry, jaded by life and completely closed off. He had a rough childhood, jilted the girl for greed and lost connection with himself and humanity. He pushes everyone away and is imprisoned by his pain. His darkness causes him to lack compassion and laugh in the face of generosity and kindness. He lives in his head and without a heart connection, he is cold, detached, and just plain mean. I know a few people who might match that description. I would say that Scrooge could use a little therapy. Then the spirits of the night take him by surprise and give him the quickest version of psychotherapy possible. I wish it was so easy and just one night of visions about the past, present and future would completely do the trick! I'd be out of a job, but who cares. If we could transform bitter people into compassionate, loving human beings over night, I would be fine with switching professions. I guess in some ways I am the ghost of the past, present and future, rolled into one. I guide people to reflect on how the past affected them. In the present, I urge them to analyze how to improve current relationships and be more aware of the moment. I also help people shift gears and bring illumination into their lives, which consequently, improves their futures and what they attract. So, if the overnight vision thing became the new therapeutic technique, I could just sign on to be one of the ghosts, working while I sleep. Scrooge is so clearly jolted back into his heart, with all of the emotions he is forced to feel. He transforms back into the man he was always meant to be. Those ghosts are pretty powerful and what great lessons for every one of us. The spirit of the past is about reflection, regret and awareness. It is so important to just become aware of who we are and how we got here. In the story, one visit to the past does the job, but the idea is for just enough reflection to learn the lesson and move on. Reflect back to something in your past you wish you could change. You cannot change the past, but honoring that you would if you could, acknowledges the truth beneath the defenses. Scrooge looks back and is horrified by what he sees. With new eyes, his realization is that he had been so fear driven and guarded, that he lost everything that he ever loved. When he views the present, he is equally horrified, because his selfishness had blinded him to the people in need all around him. His bitterness blocked him from really seeing the loving souls, trying to get his attention. Compassion flooded him when the blinders were taken off and he saw beyond his pain. His future terrified him, because he was shown that what you put out there truly comes back to you. If you are not feeling and expressing kindness, love, compassion and joy to the world around you, then eventually you get nothing back, because nothing is what you have been offering. That old saying, do unto others as you would have them unto you, could not be more true. I always cry at the moment he wakes up on Christmas morning a changed man, full of life and hope. He realizes that it is not too late and he is offered a second chance. He embraces the moment and mankind becomes his mission. He discovers instantly how gratifying it is to be kind and giving. It is an amazing story of redemption. I suppose that is why, no matter how many times we see or read the story, the impact is always profound. The lesson for all of us....that it is never too late. Let's learn from the tale of Scrooge. Live in the moment, offer love and kindness to everyone around you and know that change is always attainable. If Scrooge can do it then anything is possible!

Alchemy of the Spirit

Alchemy is about transformation, literally translated as medieval chemistry concerned with turning metal into gold. The idea of alchemy in ones life is to transform your heart and soul into gold. In the book, The Alchemist, the character sets out on a journey to find a treasure....but the journey turns out to be the treasure and the pot of gold is within him. We are all on our journey to transform, become present, conscious and fulfill each of our own destinies. As Eckart Tolle writes in, The New Earth, "A reversal of your priorities comes about when the main purpose for doing what you do becomes the doing itself, or rather, the current of consciousness that flows into what you do." He states that, "The modalities of awakened doing are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm." The idea of acceptance is simple, that we begin to take responsibility for everything in our lives. When we take responsibility for what we are doing and for each moment we have, we become empowered. That is not to say that you may not want to stay in the current situation you are in, but it is accepting that you are there in the present moment until you can shift the situation fully. There is no "victim" energy or "poor me" or any type of suffering if you enter into a state of acceptance. The idea is to release ego from dictating your state of being and again, allowing a state of empowerment. Enjoyment is all about channeling joy into everything you do. Yes, there can be a state of enjoyment in vacuuming as well as going for a hike. Enjoyment is also a state of being, when you are in a conscious state of being in the present moment and bringing the energy of joy into life. It is not seeking out activities that bring you joy. Then the state of being is outside of you, not in you. If joy is in you, then you bring it to everything that you do! "Enthusiasm means there is a deep enjoyment in what you do plus the added element of a goal or a vision that you work toward (Eckhart Tolle)." Everything in your life should be able to enter one of the three categories, acceptance, enjoyment or enthusiasm. If you cannot stand something in your life and you truly cannot accept it, then you might want to stop that dynamic or activity because it is clearly not helpful to your journey. I notice that being in the moment allows me to notice the gorgeous clouds, while I may be sitting in traffic. I don't mind running errands, because I enjoy the music I listen to in the car and feel satisfied at completing things that needed to be done. I was able to enjoy a five hour detour on my drive to Vermont, because I allowed myself to embrace the moment. I also have things in my life that I want to shift, but am in a state of acceptance as I sort out all of the changes that need to be made. We all have things we need to accept until the time comes to shift the situation or circumstances. Evaluate your life and shift your perception to being more conscious and aware. What can you accept, rather than resist or complain about? Surrender to acceptance and take responsibility for your life. By being more conscious you can also bring enjoyment to everything that you do. What simple activities can you allow yourself to enjoy? Life is so much more fulfilling when you can consciously, accept and enjoy each and every moment. With that said, the more fully present you are, then you make room for enthusiasm to enter your life which brings you to an even higher state of being. Allow alchemy in your life.........shift your awareness into the present moment and allow the transformation of your spirit to begin.

Being Kind

I have been thinking about kindness lately. I believe in being kind to others. I guess that makes sense, since I am a therapist and I value helping others. The employee, Jim at Starbucks is kind. When he overheard me say it was my birthday last September, he gave me my iced coffee on him. The woman behind me in line at Starbucks today was mighty surprised, when I bought her cup of tea, just to be nice. My son felt great today giving his teacher a handmade card, in honor of being kind. She told him that his card "made her year." I suppose it didn't hurt that he wrote that she is the best teacher in the whole wide world. We are always touched by random acts of kindness. It restores our faith in life. We always remember when someone does something nice for us. I have a client who brings me a coffee, because his sessions are early and he knows I am always running late. The coffee assures both of us that I will be somewhat alert and manage to pay attention during the session. One of my favorite movies is, "Its A Wonderful Life." The movie is a reminder that we all make a difference and that in the end, his kindness brought kindness back to him tenfold. In the uplifting movie, "Pay It Forward," the boy helps others by doing something nice for someone and telling them to pay it forward. I always try to be kind to people around me. I will run an errand to help someone, bring my kids a slushy while they are at summer camp, or just plain go out of my way to help anyone. When I was pregnant with my third child, I had a flat tire in the fast lane on the Interstate. A stranger pulled over and insisted on changing my tire. His act of kindness came from a tragedy. It turns out that his sister was killed while sitting in her car waiting for a tow truck to come change her tire. I am always astounded however, when kindness does not come naturally to people. Often people just get so caught up in themselves and their own lives, that they don't even notice all of the people needing some kindness around them. I love what I do for a living, because at the end of the day, I feel good that I am helping others. Everyone can get that feeling, just by offering small or large acts of kindness. It feeds the spirit and makes you feel good! Here are some inspiring quotes about kindness. "I prefer you to make mistakes in kindness than work miracles in unkindness (Mother Teresa)." "My religion is simple. My religion is kindness (Dalai Lama)." "Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you (Princess Diana)." "A laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness, there can be no true joy (Thomas Carlyle)." "As much as we need a prosperous economy, we also need a prosperity of kindness and decency (Caroline Kennedy)." "As I've gotten older, I've had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things (Martin Scorsese)." Kindness acts much like love.....it melts anger and dissipates tension. It should be like a mantra, one that you live by each and every day until its a habit. So, have fun being kind. I loved the look on the lady's face when I bought her tea. It was great fun surprising my niece and nephew several weeks ago when I flew to California to celebrate their birthdays with them. I especially love surprising my kids with random acts of kindness. It teaches them that kindness is a way of life. Today when they gave donuts to their classes and cards to their teachers, they received the rewards too, because they felt good and enjoyed being kind. Who can you surprise and make smile, just by doing something kind?

The Voice Within

There are people dealt very difficult life lessons and abuse is one of the most difficult experiences an individual will endure. I counsel a 25 year old, I'll call her Hannah. She suffers from depression and anxiety and is so medicated on mood stabilizers, that all she wants to do is sleep all day. She was severely abused physically and emotionally by her alcoholic father until she was 15. He stopped beating her when she stood up to him and threatened to call the police if he touched her again. The father finally left home soon after that incident and she has had no contact with him in years. As a child, she often took beatings that were meant for her younger sister as well, because she wanted to protect her. Her best friend recently committed suicide and she feels especially guilty about not being able to stop it from happening. As you can see, there are a whole host of issues this young woman is struggling with. Primary issues are lack of self worth from the severe abuse growing up, guilt from the loss of her friend, and overall helplessness and lack of trust in life. She also has dreams of becoming a nurse and is currently enrolled in nursing school. Hannah says she wants to be able to help others. The struggle she faces every day, negative messages she repeats to herself, that she is worthless, terrible and not good enough. The clarity, she stood up to the abuser and he left....but he still remains in her head. The journey, to take her life back and to exile the abuser once and for all. Everyone has those voices from childhood in their heads of the mean, critical, withholding adult or parent. With abuse, the voice is especially harsh and relentless. Her work begins with becoming more aware of that inner voice and to stop it from repeating untruths. As awareness increases, she needs to tell the internalized dad to go away, much like the moment she stood up to him and told him that he would never hurt her again. The journey is in her head now and begins with awareness. As she works on eliminating the abuser in her head, the work focuses on increasing the positive things about her self worth. Even with all of that abuse, she was able to eventually stand up to her abuser, protect her sister, and wants to help others. The abuser was not able to completely squash her spirit.....because her inner light still shines through. She also has incredible compassion, telling me that from the abuse, she learned that she would never want to hurt another human being. The journey of becoming empowered is in her hands now. As an adult, she is free from the abuser, but needs to free herself from the abuser in her head. I had her write down all of the negative things the abuser said and did to her on a piece of paper and then, burn it. The symbolism, taking her life back by releasing the messages from the past. I reminded her that she was born loving and innocent to the world. The words and deeds the abuser did to her were not her fault and nobody ever deserves that behavior. She is on a journey now to remember who she really is in her heart, and to transform all of that pain into light. The abuser does not have to define her self worth any more....it's time for him to be banished, once and for all. As for trust in life, that will come in time as she learns to value herself. No matter how difficult the lessons may be, the journey remains about finding ones way, regaining faith and trust in life, one day at a time......

Don't Take It Personally

It is incredibly difficult for me to understand how people, even when they are grown and way beyond the high school years, still act as if they are adolescents. I am talking about adults gossipping, being mean, alienating others and being just plain spiteful. I come across quite a few adults, many of whom are parents, who display the behaviors they chastise their kids for, and they behave worse than their children. What happened to the old fashioned rules, be nice, play fair, get along, appreciate differences and work together. Okay, not everyone is going to agree, but opinions can be shared in a way that respects everyones feelings. I love the Buddha quote, "The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care, And let it spring from love Born out of concern for all beings." I can always tell when people are back biting or being fake. It comes with my intuition....I just don't miss a thing now. I can read people very easily. What I can say is trust your gut and if it screams to get away from someone, then listen. Our intuitive selves try to protect us, so don't easily dismiss that internal voice when it tries to warn you about harmful people. Also, try to follow Don Miguel Ruiz's rule from The Four Agreements, don't take anything personally. He says that nothing others do is because of you. What others do and say is actually a projection of their own reality. Here is an example of projection. I counseled a couple this week. During the session, the husband gave countless examples of how he believes the wife does things to get back at him. Example after example, he spoke about situations where he "projected" that she did things to be mean and how she lied to him and just wanted control. The wife's jaw was on the floor. She couldn't believe he thought that about her. The projection.....what he was seeing in her was himself! The truth was, he was the one that would retaliate with mean and cruel behavior, and we caught him in several lies. When people seem to have it out for you, take a step back and try to see the situation clearly. When people blame and criticize you, try to assess where it is coming from. Often, when you just cannot understand where it is coming from, it is projection, plain and simple. Another client kept calling his spouse selfish. After some investigating, it was actually the husband who was acting selfishly. He projected and blamed others for a behavior he did not want to see in himself. The answer to my own question, why do people act terribly to others.....they are behaving out of their own pain and their inability to see themselves clearly. They run around projecting, thus blaming everyone. So buffer yourself from projections. Try not to engage in their blame game and know yourself enough to accurately assess your own part in any discussion or argument. Know thyself is the eternal rule. If you are operating out of good intentions, fair behavior and love in your heart, then you will be fairly immune to the endless projections swirling around you. We cannot change other peoples behavior, but we can start with ourselves, by not taking it personally and operating with integrity.

Feeling Lost

I know that during the times I have felt the most lost, were exactly the times I grew the most. During most of my college years, I felt incredibly lost. Those lost years were ones of confusion, pain, sadness, lack of clarity, and hopelessness. Sometimes, I also just felt as if I was in a daze, tuning out and acting out. I thought that I would never survive those years. All of that confusion though, led me to therapy and I literally felt as if I was being reassembled from the inside out. Those years were essential in my growth. By some miracle, I somehow managed to attend enough classes, barely, to finish my degree, although it took seven years to do it. I really do not remember most of my classes. I should just call it my phantom degree. I thank god for getting me through those seven years! So in the middle of being lost, you can actually find your way. That therapy in college taught me the value of looking within and taught me about emotions. Emotions were never discussed in my house growing up. I was just told, "don't get angry," or "what's the big deal." No one ever really asked me how I was doing as a child and I wasn't doing well, by the way. With all of that pain came clarity and eventually led me into a career to help others find their way too. I worked with a male client this week, who has felt lost for years and had been suppressing a lot of pain. In the process of several months, he finally admitted that his ex-spouse had betrayed him severely by having an affair with his best friend. He never processed the pain of that betrayal and finally allowed himself to get angry, cry and confront his pain from the past. He looked relieved recently, when he realized that he did not have to hide in denial or diminish his feelings anymore. He is no longer lost....he is finding his way. Another client never processed the pain of losing her little sister at a young age. After her sister died, the family system shut down and everyone was lost. When a loss like that occurs, sometimes the parents are just not able to cope and they slowly disappear, barely functioning in life. Now an adult, being lost led her to seek help and finally cope with how the loss devastated her family system. By addressing her pain, she is no longer lost, but finding her way back to the living. Sometimes, people don't even know they are lost, until a loss or a crisis wakes them up. One client thought his life was fine, until his wife wanted a divorce. That crisis was the catalyst to an awakening which helped him see that he had been sleepwalking through his life. Now he feels lost as he sorts through the pain he had caused with no clear direction. Being lost will help him see himself and the world with new eyes which will forever help him on his journey. Being lost is a gift, a chance to find a new way. I always say to clients that crisis is an opportunity to thrive, because often people do not shift, change and grow unless forced to do so. If you begin to see that feeling lost is the biggest chance to reinvent yourself and to grow as an individual, then you might embrace crisis instead of resisting it. "One thing we know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment (Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth)." If you are feeling lost, then just know, that you are in the throws of a huge life lesson.......so embrace the moment, feel the moment and you too will find your way.

Beyond Measure

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I cannot help but feel overwhelming gratitude in my heart for so many things in my life. I am incredibly grateful that I am here, living this life, learning and growing as an individual. Words alone cannot even begin to describe my gratitude for being here. I am grateful for every experience that I have ever had, for every joy, every pain, each loss, countless tears and lots of laughter, for all of it makes me who I am today. I am overwhelmed by the joy I feel in having three beautiful, amazing souls as my children. They teach me more and more every day in more ways than I ever imagined. I am grateful for every person I have had the pleasure to learn both heartfelt and painful lessons from. Each one of us plays a role in each persons life, often acting as a catalyst to help each other grow and learn lessons. With that said, I truly forgive everyone who has ever hurt me...those lessons are the toughest to get through, but teach us compassion, resiliency and builds emotional strength if you allow them to. I also apologize to anyone I have ever hurt.....and hope you know that I believe I played a role to help you grow and learn as well. Please forgive me however for any pain I may have caused. I am grateful for all of the twists and turns my life has taken, for the adventure has been character building and given me an interesting view. I am grateful for the opportunity to turn my lessons into guidance for others. I am grateful for each and every client that has ever walked through my doors. I appreciate the opportunity to provide guidance, give solace, help reflect and overall for your trust that I could help you in any way. I am grateful to that boss who fired me, because he was right, I was a terrible waitress and it pointed me in a different direction. I am grateful for having had several adults in my life growing up, whether blood related or not, who took the time to let me know that I mattered. I am grateful for a partner whom I learned more about myself with, experienced the adventures of parenthood with and whom backed me up, when I wanted to follow my dream. We have helped each other grow immeasurably. I am grateful for each and every day, for each one is a gift which offers new lessons and opportunities. I am grateful for the spectacular beauty of nature, which gives me a profound inner sense of balance and connects me to the deepest part of my soul. I am grateful for the inspiring music I listen to every day, for it revives my spirit and gives me hope. I am grateful for individuals who taught me about love, for that is one of the most powerful lessons of all. I am grateful beyond measure for the journey and that the lessons will go on and on until my life is over........What are you grateful for?

Follow Your Dreams

Many years ago, my sister was 25 years old and working as a manager at a cookie retail store. She was unhappy and one day, she woke up and decided to follow her dreams. She had always loved the movie industry and knew that her soul really wanted to work around television or movies. On that fateful day, a gut feeling took over and she decided to drive over to 20th Century Fox and see where the day took her. When she pulled up to the guard at the security gate, she waved and something surprising happened, he opened the gate for her and waved her through. It was as if divine guidance had intervened, but the guard did not stop her or ask her a single question, he just waved her on through. Once on the lot, she decided to head to the trailers and the set of her favorite television show at the time, Moonlighting. Once there, she asked around if anyone had an internship available and they pointed her to the casting trailer. It was as if, step by step, everything was synchronistic and meant to be. Once she was in the casting trailer, she was informed that an internship had just opened up and it was hers if she wanted it. That was it, a gut instinct, a dream and the bravery to follow it through. She gave her notice at the cookie store and started the internship the following week. As it turns out, casting was a perfect fit for her. She had always remembered the names of actors in movies, plays and television, almost to a fault. All of her skills came together and she found one of her callings in life. The only catch, she had to work with no paycheck for three months until she was hired on as the casting assistant. Any dream worth pursuing is worth some sacrifice. She had to scrape, borrow and live on soup for three months, but the payoff was worth more than three months with no salary. She realized on the first day at the job, that something had guided her there, even though she did not believe in divine guidance at the time. Everything in her life had led to that moment. Because she drove to 20th Century Fox that one morning, her entire life changed and went in an entirely different direction. If she had let messages of fear stop her at any time that day, she would not have ended up with the Casting and Producing career, she has today. Those fearful messages that could have stopped her or anyone..."what are you crazy, you will never get on the lot," or "work for free for three months, forget it, I'll stay at the cookie place." Luckily, she ignored the fear based voice and proceeded to work her way up to Casting Associate, then Casting Director and now Producer for films. The bottom line and titles aside, she absolutely loves what she does. She followed her dreams and although the occasional sacrifice comes with the job, she'd do it all again if you asked her. Listen to your gut, ignore those fearful messages whenever possible and do not hesitate to follow your dreams. The universe will conspire to help you achieve your dreams if you believe in yourself first. "All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them"...(Walt Disney).

The Power of Energy

When I read Masaru Emoto's book, The True Power of Water, I was profoundly moved by his scientific evidence that the energy of our words, and thus our thoughts and feelings behind our words, have the power to alter the structures of water crystals under a microscope. He writes, "We consistently found that water responded to positive words by forming beautiful crystals. As if it wanted to express its joyous feeling, the crystals opened like a flower. In contrast, when water was shown negative words, it did not form crystals." He found that water only manifested crystals when positive words were used, and that love and gratitude formed the most spectacular crystals of all. In contrast, his research showed that negative words produced broken, unbalanced and scattered crystals or none at all. Energy is in and around us.....everything is energy! All things emanate a vibration, some things vibrate positively and others negatively. When you consider that every word, thought and feeling produces a distinct vibration, it brings to your awareness the power that each of us has to affect the world around us. We all know that words of encouragement, love and gratitude elicit positive feelings and positive results. Much like the water crystal experiment, when someone says loving words to us, we light up and feel good. Giving praise and positive encouragement to children helps them to excel, feel secure and have higher self-esteem. On the contrary, negative words, criticism and anger brings about a very different reaction. When we are treated harshly, we do not feel good. Negativity brings about diminished self worth, blame, resentment and elicits more negativity. Emoto also found that giving any type of energy was actually better than giving none at all. "To give your attention to something is a way of giving energy (M. Emoto)." Being ignored or not giving attention to something or someone can have the most damaging results of all. Other negative emotions that affected the water crystals were worry, anxiety and fear which reflects that when you are internalizing those emotions, you are profoundly affecting your own energy in ways that are not supportive. In sessions with clients, I have witnessed the destruction that negative words and behaviors do to relationships, childhoods, working relationships and overall how people feel about themselves. I also get to observe the healing moments, when people finally say, "I love you, thank you, you are amazing, I forgive you and I'm sorry." Some days, I feel I have the best job in the world. I observe individuals very fragile moments and vulnerabilities and watch them find ways to heal, forgive and blossom. That brings me back to the healing energy of love and gratitude. The energy of love and everything it touches is life supporting, life nurturing and all encompassing. Sending love through your thoughts, saying loving things to others and yourself, helps you and everyone that energy touches to shine, just like the water crystals in Emoto's experiments. Be more aware of the profound influence the power your energy has on yourself and others around you, and with each thought, word and feeling.......infuse it with love or gratitude and let the healing begin.