Feeling Lost

I know that during the times I have felt the most lost, were exactly the times I grew the most. During most of my college years, I felt incredibly lost. Those lost years were ones of confusion, pain, sadness, lack of clarity, and hopelessness. Sometimes, I also just felt as if I was in a daze, tuning out and acting out. I thought that I would never survive those years. All of that confusion though, led me to therapy and I literally felt as if I was being reassembled from the inside out. Those years were essential in my growth. By some miracle, I somehow managed to attend enough classes, barely, to finish my degree, although it took seven years to do it. I really do not remember most of my classes. I should just call it my phantom degree. I thank god for getting me through those seven years! So in the middle of being lost, you can actually find your way. That therapy in college taught me the value of looking within and taught me about emotions. Emotions were never discussed in my house growing up. I was just told, "don't get angry," or "what's the big deal." No one ever really asked me how I was doing as a child and I wasn't doing well, by the way. With all of that pain came clarity and eventually led me into a career to help others find their way too. I worked with a male client this week, who has felt lost for years and had been suppressing a lot of pain. In the process of several months, he finally admitted that his ex-spouse had betrayed him severely by having an affair with his best friend. He never processed the pain of that betrayal and finally allowed himself to get angry, cry and confront his pain from the past. He looked relieved recently, when he realized that he did not have to hide in denial or diminish his feelings anymore. He is no longer lost....he is finding his way. Another client never processed the pain of losing her little sister at a young age. After her sister died, the family system shut down and everyone was lost. When a loss like that occurs, sometimes the parents are just not able to cope and they slowly disappear, barely functioning in life. Now an adult, being lost led her to seek help and finally cope with how the loss devastated her family system. By addressing her pain, she is no longer lost, but finding her way back to the living. Sometimes, people don't even know they are lost, until a loss or a crisis wakes them up. One client thought his life was fine, until his wife wanted a divorce. That crisis was the catalyst to an awakening which helped him see that he had been sleepwalking through his life. Now he feels lost as he sorts through the pain he had caused with no clear direction. Being lost will help him see himself and the world with new eyes which will forever help him on his journey. Being lost is a gift, a chance to find a new way. I always say to clients that crisis is an opportunity to thrive, because often people do not shift, change and grow unless forced to do so. If you begin to see that feeling lost is the biggest chance to reinvent yourself and to grow as an individual, then you might embrace crisis instead of resisting it. "One thing we know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment (Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth)." If you are feeling lost, then just know, that you are in the throws of a huge life lesson.......so embrace the moment, feel the moment and you too will find your way.