Soulmates

I rented the movie, The Ugly Truth. I had seen it in the movie theatre but enjoyed it so much, I had to see it it again. The idea in the movie is that the girl wants to attract a guy and a brash, unedited man shows her what men really want. It's pretty funny. In the end, it turns out that they fall in love and they both want someone who loves them just for who they are....with no pretenses or facades. What a great lesson, to attract a partner whom appreciates you for just being yourself and vise versa. That is certainly one type of soulmate connection, based on mutual attraction and caring. There are various lessons involved in any type of relationship. Sometimes the lesson is of security, other times it is romance, passion and love or a combination of some or all of them. Each relationship a person is involved in is a lesson, whether it be a romantic, marriage or even friendship or work related partnerships. The issue with any relationship dynamic is figuring out what those lessons are. Some people will have the lesson of security and learn to take care of or receive care from another. I have seen many couples with the lessons of balancing power. Sometimes, relationships are lessons in becoming more secure with oneself and understanding insecurity through the partner you chose. Often, once you have learned what is optimal for your souls growth, the relationship will break apart or enter a new phase and will undergo many changes to shift the roles and the dynamics. Either way, change is inevitable in any relationship. Profound soul connections come in all forms of relationships such as parent/child, siblings, friendships and business partners as well as romantic attachments. Lessons abound in every single relationship and dynamic. According to Lauren Thibodeau, in her book Natural-Born Soulmates, "No matter how powerful you become in your ability to live in the moment, to surrender attachments, to assess soulmate situations and use your free will and your inner wisdom to create your life, lessons are part of the journey. Learning to embrace those lessons, to see the lessons of passion, potential, purpose, pacing, and problem solving as opportunities to show your best self will also transform those very lessons." Relationships are a wonderful opportunity to experience an array of emotions and play various roles. If you follow your heart, it will lead the way to the soul connections that you can learn the most from. I often have single clients, complain about how long it is taking them to find a soulmate....or any meaningful relationship. There are lessons in being alone as well as the short lived, fleeting relationships. In addition some soul searching may be necessary to be sure that ones own fears are not getting in the way of attracting what you want. If you are in a long term relationship, your lesson may be to not fall into boredom and complacency. All relationships need to be worked on and have some attention paid to them. I have counseled many people actively engaged in affairs. It is always best to energetically end the relationship you are in first....legalities may take some time. Set the needed boundary in your current relationship by stating clearly that the relationship is over, so that no further confusion or misunderstandings occur. More damage always seems to occur when couples are not honest with each other about the state of their relationship and they go through the pretenses instead of being clear with one another. The difficulty comes when couples break apart. It is heartbreaking to watch couples disintegrate. No wonder couples often create drama and display anger. It is very sad and difficult to walk away from unions, so people do it in messy ways. But, overall sometimes relationships need to end, because it is in the best interest for the growth of the individuals. You should not consider yourself a failure if a relationship ends. Often it takes several relationships to learn the important lessons in your life. Guilt and blame are not useful.....the ego holds court and blames either yourself or the other. As for the continued search for romantic soul connections.....lots and lots of patience. Anything in life truly worthy is worth waiting for. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye"...(Antoine de Saint-Exupery). As usual, my conclusion when it comes to relationships........learn from the journey and follow your heart, it always knows the way. What are the next lessons you need to learn in your next relationship or the one you are currently in?