"True love is felonious...You take someone's breath away...You rob them of the ability to utter a single word...You steal a heart"... (Jodi Picoult). I have not written in quite a while. I cannot understand why completely. I suppose I found myself busy with my kids schedules and with life. Maybe that does not explain it thoroughly though either. My inspiration was guided toward painting drums and I just didn't have words to express my hearts desires. Without clarity of words, it's difficult to write. I am in love finally. I am in love with life. My path took me from one coast to the other and at times I felt lost, confused, overwhelmed and excited about possibilities. One moment I would think I had things all figured out, only to wake up the next day to discover that I was not seeing the entire picture and my world would fall apart temporarily. I would then adjust my perspective, integrate the new knowledge I attained and carry on. I remained open though to being curious and to trusting my heart, no matter what was thrown my way. I was tested and each test made me stronger. I look in the mirror now and I see the strength I've attained over the past several years. I wore a Wonder Woman costume three years ago and how symbolic she is, for I truly feel like Wonder Woman these days. I still think about love and what it means to truly be in love. It really sets you on a journey of self love and deep contemplation and growth to risk following your heart. I cannot express enough that following your heart is only a journey for the brave. Weaker souls cannot sustain the needed courage to follow their hearts. The first big wave that comes their way, they retreat in doubt and fear and refuse to step back into the waves that lead to the fruits of following their hearts. Following one's heart is like looking for the elusive hidden island filled with treasures and gold. Many people have tried to find it, only to end up on the wrong island, shipwrecked or they retreat all together. Other's never head out in search for it, doubting that it exists at all. The brave never give up. They never let the storms defeat them, they press on through the harshest conditions and they know that one day, they will find it. The brave also know that once they find it, they will protect it and they will never waste what they have found. True love of anything or anyone means guarding it and fighting for it, against all odds and any predators. There are always people wanting to tear people's dreams apart... creating doubt and fear from their envy. The strong are aware of people like that and become savvy to those tactics and this only makes them stronger. I know that the stronger I've become, the less aware I am of people trying to hurt me because I just don't pay them notice any longer. They have no power to affect me for long. I wanted to say that they cannot affect me at all but truth be told, I feel the waves of hurt, have a good scream or cry and then I'm fine. Emotions are a grand thing and expressing them is a gift I have allowed myself to enjoy. Love...it really is quite a journey of faith. I have endless faith now, knowing that my journey on the sea's of life have brought me such strength and courage that the rewards are more valuable than any currency to speak of. "You only need one man to love you. But him to love you free like a wildfire, crazy like the moon, always like tomorrow, sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. Only one man and all of this." (C. Joybell C.)
