I was reflecting about my past 15 months. I've had many highs and many lows since being diagnosed with a very rare cancer called Synovial Sarcoma. Overall, it has been an amazing ride. I am so much closer to many friends and family. I feel as if cancer brought some old friends back into my life and made the friendships deeper and more heartfelt. I became closer with some aquaintances and now we are dear friends. I've had deep conversations with strangers and deeper conversations with people I've known a long time. In fact, I've honestly had the best conversations over the past 15 months. I have grown stronger as a mother, friend, sister, daughter and woman. I lost my hair but not my sense of humor. I lost my leg and found more stability within myself. I learned how to walk again and I appreciate every step I take. I realized that there is such a thing as "chemo fog," since I am now out of the fog and feeling more alive than ever. I have bonded with fellow cancer warriors and found solice and strength in their midst. Some cancer warriors lost their battle this past year but they are always with us in spirit and they will never be forgotten. I now truly understand the saying, "live every day as if it's your last." I am now enjoying life instead of just surviving. I hope that my journey helps inspire some of you to take a deep breath and enjoy time spent with loved ones. In an instant, life can change on a dime, so never cling to anything and be ready to experience whatever life may throw at you. We are offered no guarantees and there really is no such thing as security. The only security we have is within us and when life throws you a zinger, you find out really quickly, where your blind spots and misperceptions lie. My life turning upside down may have been the biggest blessing in disguise. I know God was with me through it all. What if we all looked at life's ups and downs as equally amazing experiences? Just a thought. I may have argued my own point in the middle of chemo, while throwing up and feeling the sickest I've ever felt or being at death’s door after my white blood count dropped to nothing....yet I learned amazing things from those experiences. I had taken so many things for granted prior to that. Just living.....every taste, hug, conversation, laughter and tears are all pretty amazing. I must say though, dark chocolate is still the best medicine. Oh, and who knew losing my hair would help me discover that you can be beautiful and feminine without hair and that short hair is actually a lot of fun.
I'm very excited about living. I wake up so curious and hopeful because every day is an opportunity to experience something new, or to see things from a different perspective.
#sarcomawarrior #synovialsarcoma #cancerwarrior #amputeelife
