From the Other Side

“Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness"...(George Sand). I recently had an in depth discussion with a friend who happens to talk with spirits. Yes....you read correctly. Much like the popular Spirit Channeler's of today, she can have in depth discussions with people who have crossed over. It doesn't really matter whether you believe in talking with spirits or not because the messages from the other side are profound and worth considering. The message was clear and concise and meant to help facilitate understanding and healing. The message was from a family member and he (the spirit) said that as he was crossing over, "before I knew what was happening, a mirror was held in front of my face." The mirror was a direct reflection of the life he lived, the choices he had made and of the souls he had hurt along the way. He was greeted by loved ones who had passed on but was shown immediately, the ways in which he veered off course during his life here. He apologized to me for his error in judgement and for his selfishness. He felt regret and knew that he could and should have done more to help me and others in his lifetime. His realization was clear, that he had grown to care more about money and stuff or "toys" as he put it, than people. He apologized for that and saw clearly that he did not make the most of the life he had been given. What an amazing message really. Eerily, the messages he gave could have come from Ebeneezer Scrooge himself. How many people are living their lives right now, the way he had? So many live selfishly and with little or no regard to helping others. It's not as if people aren't given some nudging or reminders to do the right thing. The problem is that many people choose to continuously turn a blind eye to those reminders and they forge ahead only thinking about themselves. That certainly is their choice, but it's not without consequence. My family member has discovered that even though he is on the other side, free from the burdens of being human...he is still in pain. His pain isn't of the body any longer but he suffers from pain of the spirit. His burden is being able to see things vividly and with such clarity that he's left facing how he hurt many people along the way and didn't do everything within his power to help those around him. I love the message he delivered because it's such a reminder to make the most of this life and to pay attention to one's conscience. Not that having nice things isn't enjoyable in life but more importantly, are there people in your life you've pushed away or whom you could have helped one way or another but haven't? Are you so overwhelmed with over commitments, worrying about what others are doing or thinking or trying to keep up with the status quo that you are living an empty existence? My family member doesn't get a re-do. He made his choices to honor money over people and now he has to face the music, so to speak. His lessons offer healing in that others can learn from his mistakes. This story isn't new however. Inspirational writers, musicians, and spiritual gurus throughout the ages have urged people through all creative mediums to pay attention to love, service to humanity and seeing the beauty all around us. Yet, so many people still bury their heads in the sand and ignore the numerous nudging they receive to reach out to others around them, to connect and to start really living their lives. All any of us can do though is to keep trying to wake people up. Life is full of choices....to live a life with love and forgiveness or to live shallowly and in vain. “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Up to his nest again, I shall not live in vain"...(Emily Dickinson).

I Remember Me

"I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn to do it'...(Pablo Picasso). I just had another birthday several days ago. I meant to sit down and write a blog article that day but the day just whirled by and here I sit trying to capture what this birthday meant to me. Each year, I am incredibly amazed at the growth and changes I've gone through during the previous year. One year ago, I was excited and nervous about the many changes I had been undergoing. Now, I'm very adjusted to living in Southern California and my kids and I feel very much at home here. The weather is my favorite thing because it allows me to hike almost every day. I felt empowered to make necessary changes in my life one year ago, but now I just feel incredibly empowered in every way possible. During the past year, I was thrown back into the dating scene which illuminated things big and small about myself and others. I also eventually got beyond my own struggles and decided that it was time to take more of a leadership role in many ways. As a therapist, I have always loved helping people, but now my heart is guiding me to reach out in service through community which means that I get to discover new and unique ways to offer guidance. Help is an interesting word...I think the word service sums it up best because I just feel that what we all can offer is truly ourselves to make our families, our schools, our communities and our world a better place through our commitment. Just committing to do our part creates a positive shift. It's so interesting to note that there is just nothing more satisfying than making a difference in other peoples lives. I have also been shown lately how our own enthusiasm and positive attitude absolutely inspires others. I put the word out to find women in their 20's, to help with the Girl Scouts in my area. My Service Unit needed more help and heck, there is always a need for Girl Scout leaders, co-leaders and volunteers to help with troops. In a matter of two weeks, I signed on six amazing young women. The irony is that they are going to help inspire young women, yet in the process, they will become more empowered. What a wonderful process. They were a bit nervous about starting troops (something new to them), but like the Pablo Picasso quote above...you learn by doing. These young women remind me of myself in my twenties, so eager and willing to learn. I love passing on the legacy of having things in life that inspire us and help us grow in numerous ways, especially when we are helping others in the process. So, it's been a great year. I'm excited to have discovered a new and renewed empowered me along the way and look forward to the new things I'll learn and grow from over the next year. I remember me...the shy, insecure yet positive girl who dared to keep heading into the unknown. The girl I was and now the woman I am, who refuses to succumb to fear and who will never stop daring to take a risk and learn something new in this journey we call life. "To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself"...(Soren Kierkegaard).