Full Circle

"A circle is the reflection of eternity. It has no beginning and it has no end - and if you put several circles over each other, then you get a spiral"...(Maynard James Keenan). I can't believe it's been over a month since I have written a blog article! I've been busier than ever doing numerous activities for Girl Scouts and time has just flown by. While hiking today, I walked my usual hike in the opposite direction. The hike is a 4.5 mile loop around and it passes a water fall and heads up Lizard Rock mountain and back down to the parking lot. While hiking it heading in the other direction, I was struck by the fact that my life has run a similar course. Symbolically, the theme of my journey of late is that I have been offered the chance to see every relationship I've ever had from a different perspective. Like hiking a trail in the opposite direction, everything takes on a new perspective when you are seeing things you might have missed while walking the path in one direction. From only one perspective, you might have missed flowers hiding behind trees and the way a hill that is slippery while walking down is easier to hike in reverse. Much of my life has been a series of re-do's, a second chance to experience things from a new perspective. I like my new perspective because I can see now how limited my understanding of relationships and people was in the past. My old perspective kept me trapped in untruths and in beliefs that somehow I was not good enough, strong enough or worthy. While hiking my path in reverse, I've been able to see people and myself so much more clearly. Knowing both perspectives has freed me from self limiting beliefs and thoughts that were just partial truths. Once you can see things from both perspectives, you can see the picture in it's wholeness which offers a vivid picture to draw from, rather than only partial truths. I want to clarify that walking an old path from a new perspective does not mean staying stuck in the past as so many people often do. That is more akin to hiking in one direction and never allowing yourself to entertain the possibility that there may be different ways of looking at things. Often people will just freeze their limited perspective and stay on that trail endlessly. Getting a second chance to experience things from a new perspective is a gift and a challenge because it automatically frees you from the past if you stay the course and allow yourself to see where your blind spots were. As a little test, take a different path to work or walk/run your usual route in the opposite direction just to see how different things look in reverse. Then, make the connection to your life and what areas you still need to work on based on some unfinished business or wounds yet to be healed. "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not a truth"...(Marcus Aurelius).

Life Is A Hike

My very first blog article was this one, called "Life is A Hike." I believe that it is a wonderful metaphor for our lives and our journey's. Once you reach one peak however, you must muster up the strength to get down off that mountain, (no easy feat when you're exhausted) and gear up to tackle the next hike and thus your next set of lessons. Life is a series of hikes and a series of goals....and a never ending set of lessons, vista's, ups and downs. Never forget however to enjoy the scenery along the way, for it's ever changing and full of surprises.

The thing I love about hiking mountains is that there is a clear goal, get to the top! Half way up you begin to wonder, "why am I doing this again," then you remember that there is a clear goal, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you get to eat when you get to the top. That sandwich always motivates me! Of course I can't wait to take in the view, but when you have been hiking for hours and your legs are so tired they feel like spaghetti and it feels like you'll never get there, that sandwich seems more important than the view. When I arrive at the top, rest and eat, I sit in wonder staring out at the gorgeous view and congratulate myself for making it to the top. It is an amazing feeling. Hiking is a metaphor for life. You are on your journey..... sometimes you take in the view, sometimes you're so tired that you feel like giving up and other days, you just want to get to the top. With each hike as with each step on our journey in life, we get to the goal and assess, rest, take in the view and set our next goal. The journey of life is a series of hikes. Oh sure, some people just opt out and stay at the bottom of the mountain making excuses as to why they can't hike. I've met many of those non-hikers. They gave up on themselves and life and sleepwalk through life. They claim that they could hike the highest peaks, so to speak, but never take a step onto the trail. There are also those who start hiking and give up along the way. Lacking in enough self worth to climb to the top, they stop somewhere along the trail and turn back. They complain too, stating endless excuses as to why they have to stop but claim they "could have" made it to the top if they wanted to, but why bother. They are the poor me hikers. They at least engage in their life, but they keep giving up on themselves instead of following through to their goal. The non-hikers and poor me hikers are dictated by fear. That is all it is, fear, plain and simple. They live with the many excuses that fear creates, "It's raining, I'll do it tomorrow (tomorrow never comes), I can't do it, it's their fault, I would if...it's too hard, what if I get hurt, I'm too good to hike, I could hike Mount Everest," etc, etc. Okay, the hikers, the one's that make it to the top are afraid too. They may even have some self-worth issues (who doesn't), but they never let their fears stop them. Our journey and our series of hikes is about engaging in our journey. Nobody can make the climb for us and everyone has fear. Don't ever let fear stop you from taking that first step onto the trail and continuing to take steps until you get to the top. As for love, love yourself enough to believe that your journey is worth it. No matter what issues you are battling, scars from the past you carry or perceived hardships, start with a glimmer of love and take the first step onto the trail and don't look back until you've reached the top.

This Too Shall Pass

"This too shall pass" is a wonderful saying. It's a life preserver of sorts. Those four words are a reminder that no matter how horrible or how ecstatic things are....it too will pass. The saying is a life preserver of sorts because people often are seeking some kind of comfort when they have hit their worse times, those moments when all seems bleak and you feel as if there is no hope. Mostly people are seeking comfort when things seem to be at their worse. People often don't seek inspiration or words of wisdom when they are flying high from a successful moment. I like the reminder that those words can help keep us grounded both when things appear awful and when life is a celebration. Often we all get hung up on those moments in life that are blissful, so much so that people then feel let down, disappointed and upset when life brings hardships. Both bliss and pain are a part of life but the saying reminds us that everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever and in fact...pain is the prelude and the best teacher of joy. When we embrace pain, we transform it into into love. When we embrace joy, we transform life into heaven, one in which pain and joy are not separate....they are one. Often people in pain are desperate for it to go away. They fight the pain, run from their pain and blame everyone else for their suffering. Some even blame god and in the process, they oppose their own experiences and lessons. That only brings more pain and suffering. Ever notice that some of the happiest people are those who have transformed themselves through their struggles, not in spite of them. One's journey of experiences is our path alone and we honor our path by honoring our pain. This too shall pass is a saying of acceptance. Acceptance of life, acceptance of joy and embracing all of life's experiences and emotions. There really are no bad feelings. Experiences cannot control you if you just accept them as part of life. You might try to argue with yourself, "but I've been through terrible things." Gratitude for every experience that has come your way is true acceptance. No matter what you are going through...whether you are enjoying a moment of bliss or the toughest time of your life..."This too shall pass"~(1 Corinthians 10:12).

Kindness of Strangers

What do an actor, doctor, photographer, Jamba Juice employee and teenager all have in common? Each one of them along with hundreds of other generous souls donated one dollar to my daughter to purchase Girl Scout cookies for our Military troops. The program is called "Troop To Troops" and operates under the program Operation Gratitude. The Girl Scouts also make hand made cards to send along with those cookies. I hadn't thought too much about this program until the big Girl Scout cookie kick off. I helped to organize the cookie rally in my area over the past couple of months and one week ago, 600 Girl Scouts of all ages came together at a local university to celebrate the start of the cookie season. We had a booth for the girls to make cards to send to the troops with the cookies and next to that booth was a booth run by the Military, teaching the girls about Operation Gratitude. After the Cookie Rally my daughter was excited to get out to start selling cookies. In fact, she was so excited that she announced that her cookie goal was to sell 2,500 boxes! I encouraged her to dream big but to break down her big goal into small manageable goals. After some discussion, she agreed. Her first goal then was to sell 100 boxes of cookies. That way, she would feel successful as she reached each goal. The following day, she donned her uniform vest and we set out to sell cookies in our neighborhood. I reminded her to inform customers that they could donate a box of cookies to the troops since she had learned all about it the day before. She loved the idea but at each door we went to, her nervousness took over and she'd forget to ask. Basically, she'd just get out one sentence, "Would you like to buy Girl Scout cookies?" She had some success about half of the time, but the No's became discouraging. The No's started to get to her and she was ready to head home after an hour. I pushed her to try one last house before we packed it in. She blurted out her usual pitch and he politely said no but just as he was about to close the door, she remembered to ask him about donating a box of cookies to the troops. Immediately the door flew back open and the gentleman said, "The troops...what about the troops?" She explained the 'Troop to Troops" program and he cheerfully announced, "Of course I'll buy cookies for the troops!" Turns out that he is a Vietnam Vet and he handed her $10, chatted with us for 5 more minutes and we were on our way with our first donation for the troops. My daughter was so excited. That gentleman was so impressed with my daughter that he yelled for us to come back as we were walking away and decided to buy two boxes of cookies for his wife and to donate two more dollars for the troops. It was a heartwarming experience and it motivated my daughter to change her goals. She decided to concentrate on donations to buy cookies for the troops. We turned an empty Thin Mint box into a donation container and we set out to collect $400 to help her reach her first goal of getting 100 boxes of cookies donated for our troops. We went to Starbucks first and walked up to people sitting at tables. We brainstormed that instead of asking for the $4 to buy a whole box of cookies, she would ask for one dollar to put toward the purchase of a box. Each table we approached said yes. Some gave her more than a dollar. The only No's she received that day were from people who didn't have cash on them. Some offered credit cards but darn, I wish I had an app on my phone to run credit cards! In about 15 minutes time, she had over $30 in donations. Each day we did the same thing with the same successful results. Day after day, people would fill her Thin Mint box with dollar bills. Occasionally, we'd get a twenty, ten or a five dollar bill. Some strangers chatted with us briefly about the fact that they were Girl Scouts way back when and how much those years impacted them so positively. Most people offered smiles and gratitude to my daughter for focusing on the troops. Everyone that handed us money were genuinely happy to help. One guy in marketing said that it was wonderful that my daughter was learning to talk to people so easily at such a young age. In fact, I noticed my daughter articulating herself more easily with each person or group we approached. In one weeks time we've met hundreds of men, women and children in our community including nurses, business men and women having meetings, stay at home moms, families enjoying time together, couples hanging out and groups of friends meeting up. Today we met Larry, a musician/actor who gave my six year old son a guitar pick after he pushed several dollar bills into the donation box. My son came home and was inspired to pull out his guitar (which had been neglected lately) and he started to strum. One young woman told us of having been a Girl Scout until she graduated High School and she urged my daughter to stay in Girl Scouts as long as she did. My daughter agreed. Another woman overheard us talking with someone else and had money out, waving to us to come on over once we were finished with the people we were talking to. She was with her twenty something daughter and she said that she had been a Girl Scout leader for 8 years. She loved what were doing and she pushed a ten dollar bill into the Thin Mint box. While going door to door, a woman answered the door and said "only one dollar?" She went to grab her wallet and she looked at my daughter with a smile and pushed a twenty dollar bill into the box. Turns out that she was in charge of cookie sales for her daughters troop several years ago. She was happy to contribute to the cause and loved the idea of the troops having the cookies instead of her hips. One man at Starbucks told us that he had been in the military and that a clean tooth brush was heaven sent sometimes and that cookies would be a blessing to our service men and women. He and his buddy each happily donated $8 to buy four boxes total. Each day brings us in contact with more people, more dollars and very interesting stories. Even some parents with their own Girl Scouts contributed one dollar and I encouraged them to teach their Girl Scout the same secret of asking for one dollar to send cookies to the troops. Overall, there have been very few No's....mostly from people without cash on them and from a couple from Brazil who didn't speak English. The only thing I understood was "Brazil." The yeses have added up and my daughter reached her goal yesterday after a neighbor pulled out her checkbook, writing a $44 check to donate cookies. My daughter dumped the days donations into the Ziploc bag full of cash from the past 7 days of donations and she screamed out "I did it!" She confirmed that she had $400 in donations, which equals 100 boxes of donated cookies! Today we started on her goal of getting another 100 boxes donated. She has gotten so good at her approach that we are collecting money even faster and getting bigger donations. Today she collected $100! Maybe she'll go into fundraising one day, either that or sales. Whatever she decides as a career, she'll carry with her the skills and lessons she is learning from this experience of setting goals, the value of helping others and working hard for what you believe in. Girl Scouts indeed helps our girls grow in courage, confidence and leadership. We have also both been so inspired from the positive responses we have received from strangers. Even teenagers are handing over all of their spare change to help out. In a day and age when some might be cynical, skeptical or divided politically...most everyone we have come in contact with have been positive, giving and more than happy to help the troops and to help a Girl Scout. My daughter and I have truly discovered that every dollar counts. I have observed that no act of kindness is too small and that people will gladly help if they are inspired to do so. Even a smile from some of these strangers was much appreciated. Some even yelled out, "Keep up the good work." Many more even thanked us. We thanked them and they thanked us. Amazing! Each bill in the Ziploc unites every person that wanted to help, so before we deposit the money to purchase the cookies, I want to take a picture of my daughter with the mound of cash, to remind her of the many hundreds of generous people whom we have crossed paths with on our mission. "The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth"...(Albert Einstein).

I Love You

"I love you" are the simplest words we can speak and yet so incredibly powerful. The gift is the energy and intention beneath those words. If people utter them as an obligation, the impact will be minimal. Say them with heart and you can heal broken hearts, give hope and help someone find their wings. Even more importantly, feel those words from the depth of your soul....pray loving thoughts and miracles can occur. Here are some things I love. I love when the sun is setting and the sky radiates pinks, purples, blues, oranges and reds. It's almost like god is using the sky as a palette of beautiful hues to show us that no matter how tough that day might have been, beauty is above us...expressing to us that everything is going to be okay. I love the unique and amazing shape of every tree. Each one is so incredibly different, just like we are. You have to really take a moment to look at how incredibly beautiful every tree really is. We are blessed with trees everywhere and they add such spectacular beauty to every landscape. I love the feeling I have the first morning after the drilling pain in my head subsides from a migraine. I always feel reborn after a migraine. I'm so grateful to be pain free when I wake up that the sky looks bluer and everything amazes me. I suppose I'm lucky enough to appreciate the renewed perspective and gratitude about life that I have after having experienced drowning pain for several days. I love the way a good song can connect us to love in the most unbelievable and profound ways. I love a heartfelt hug, the ways my kids joke with me and the freedom I feel while hiking. I love taking pictures and attempting to show you the beauty I see all around me. I love you....three words I will never tire of. So let yourself feel them, express them and learn from them. Those three simple words can teach us everything.

Love Is

"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love"...(Leo Buscaglia). Well, I've spent the first 2 days of the new year in bed with a migraine headache. I get migraines every 2-3 months but when I get them, I'm usually out of commission for several days. Migraines seem to be my body's way of demanding sleep since the only thing I can do to cope with the pain is sleep and sleep and sleep. I'm not surprised really. I literally just got back on New Year's eve from a road trip with my kids to Texas and back for the holidays. I love road trips and not only did we enjoy the Dallas area...we drove through Texas to see my cousin and sight see along the way. We loved San Antonio Texas and went to a wonderful Animal Park where Zebra's were eating right out of our hands. One zebra seemed intent on hitching a ride with us. Interesting to note is that Zebra's represent the gift of balance, clarity without filters, uniqueness, power, sureness of path and keeping up with one's individuality within the herd. We also stopped in El Paso Texas for a tram ride up a mountain. We all had a great time but the long stretches of desert and nothing much to see for hundreds of miles just about lulled me to sleep more than a time or two. I had a lot of time to reflect about the past year. 2011 was a year of coming full circle for me. I have come to terms with choices I have made in the past and even got a second chance to try some things differently. I also had chances to avoid some pitfalls that would have trapped me long ago. I know myself better now and have garnered some much needed wisdom to help me on my present journey. Love is the essence of my trek. My hiking trail began with one courageous step forward, committing to love myself and others along the way. I didn't want to remain trapped, stifled or afraid. I wanted to risk being vulnerable and to let my heart lead the way. I've remained true to that mission and have written about the ups and downs I've had a long the way. Love is an energy that defies definition really. I have learned that many people will say the words "I love you," with no true feeling behind them. I've also felt incredible love coming to me from people who were unable to express their true feelings. Love is unstoppable really because it defies logic, time or distance. It can be felt with the heart and lays an invisible foundation, waiting to be built upon. We can try to talk ourselves out of love but even then, the truth can be felt beyond our denials. The same can be said for people trying to talk themselves into love. You feel it or you don't. The minute you start convincing yourself to love is when the argument is a mute point. In fact, more often you know that it's love when you run away from it or feel like running because love is the most exciting yet scary thing you'll ever encounter. The rare few have the strength to embrace love completely with abandon. Most love in secret because they fear being vulnerable. That is why loving yourself is so important. If you have not learned to be passionately in love with yourself, then how can you share and allow that love with another. Broken people search out other broken people to cling to. Like the parable about two lost hunters finding each other in the woods...their excitement turns to frustration when they realize that they are not found, just merely lost together. Love is to give of yourself completely and know your way through the woods because you finally trust your internal compass, your heart. The journey of love though is finding yourself lost along the way because those lessons ultimately teach you what love is and what it's not. "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life"....(Leo Buscaglia).    

I Forgive You

"Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life"...(George MacDonald). Today's blog article is going to be simple and to the point. I know that most people complain about their family and friends incessantly. Come on, don't deny it...most everyone is guilty of listing the wrongs done to them by family members, spouses, neighbors, bosses, co-workers and friends. While waiting at Starbuck's today, I listened to a woman on her cell phone complain endlessly about her deadbeat ex-husband and every sorted detail about him, including how dinner with his kids does not constitute custodial care. It was kinda funny though because I could tell in how this woman was talking and in how nasty she was about him, that forgiveness would be the last "F" word that would ever enter her mind about him. So, complaining often comes as venting behind people's backs and other times, people just outright complain in front of people, acting grumpy and cranky. A little bit of venting can be healthy especially when it helps you process issues and to reflect about how to handle a situation. A caution though is to be aware to whom you are venting because the wrong person can actually  make you feel angrier or more slighted. Some people love to fuel the fire so to speak, so pick the people you vent to very carefully. It's often best to offer little to no advise and to just let the person blow off some steam. Actually, the only guidance necessary is to help the person be proactive. Meaning, if the person is angry at their spouse, guide them to tell their spouse how they feel rather than stewing behind the scenes. Just wait though, often when we tell people directly how we feel, they get defensive and retaliate. Thus is the art of communication. It's a process and Rome wasn't built in a day. Most people have never been taught to communicate authentically. As far as forgiveness goes, forgiving someone often helps you forgive yourself. Often people blame themselves for putting up with bad behavior or they personalize the behavior, rather than identifying their own part in the struggle. "Keep a fair-sized cemetery in your back yard, in which to bury the faults of your friends"...(Henry Ward Beecher). Bury each self defeating complaint about yourself while you are at it and then the gift of forgiveness is not only what you offer others but the best gift you can give yourself. "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong"...(Mahatma Gandhi).