Illumination

"To love beauty is to see light"...(Victor Hugo). As we approach the new year, we all have a lot to contemplate. It is a time of awakening. 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar and 2013 sets a path for new beginnings for many. For others....2013 will be a continuation of the prisons they have built for themselves. We have all been urged and pushed to grow and to face our shadow selves. We have been given tests and people have been put across our paths to help us in every way possible. Many choose to ignore those lessons. They buried their heads into the sand, got back into bed to sleep endlessly, poured themselves another drink or grabbed another bag of cookies to devour. You can run but you cannot hide and the lessons will keep coming nonetheless. The people who have ignored the lessons are chasing their own tails and running in circles endlessly. The answers were brought to their doorstep but they ignored them. The reality we live in now is split and the divide is getting bigger each second of every day. For those who have been doing their work...their world is expanding. They are aware that they are co-creators in their reality and their world reflects to them their hearts desires. The message I've been getting for years is about the heart. Our awakening has been about finally tuning into our hearts. The more we tune into our hearts and follow it...the happier we become and everything flows easier in our lives. That's not to say there aren't trials and tests. If a test comes up it's because a hidden fear is blocking your heart and needs to be addressed to be healed. Fear is like a dormant disease...lying deeply in everyone...passed down from generation after generation and hidden in the soul from many lifetimes. Each person has varying degrees of fear and of insecurities. Each wave of fear that surfaces is a blessing because the medicine lies in the opportunity to feel the fear, let it out and move forward. For others, they may solidify the fear...justifying it and in doing so, they retreat back into their prisons. These are exciting times for many but I am saddened by the fact that there are many who are being left behind. Everyone will notice that their intuition has increased. The enlightened will know that it's because we are highly telepathic and we are now fully coming into our power. The ones in fear will also be intuitive but that will either scare them, they'll dismiss it as coincidence or they'll misuse it... misinterpreting the messages. Many will be purposely misled because they are so off track that lower energies can mess with them. When you are stronger and in your power, you are protected and lower energies cannot effect you so easily. The key is to stay grounded and to check in with yourself every day...maintaining your power through breathe, meditation, insight and constant reflection. I am aware constantly now....watching and interpreting (through my heart) the people around me. When you do that, you no longer feel like you are being tossed by the waves of life, merely trying to react to those around you. That makes people feel out of control so they overcompensate by overreacting or being controlling and manipulative. If you are always aware...you are navigating the ship and you can ride with the waves instead of against them. By observing and interpreting through your heart, you can also avoid some storms altogether. However, some storms are necessary because it facilitates our growth, makes us more aware of people deceiving us or we help offer some insight to someone else struggling in their journey. So, sometimes a good argument can be something that helps shift people. If you are coming into your power but you feel more distant from family and friends who are still bound by fear...send them blessings but know that they have a choice in what reality they choose to live in. They were offered the same chances at shifting as we have been. You cannot force someone to grow or impose your reality onto them. That's no better than some over zealous religious fanatic telling people they better believe or else they aren't going to heaven. God doesn't operate that way...people do. God energy is loving and always allows for free will. Heaven can be here now on earth depending on which reality you live in. Of course we will always have pain and loss here on earth because that is a part of being human...but even those in spirit have pain, regret and ache for the ones they had to leave behind. Their pain is more insightful however because they can see the bigger picture and not get so caught up in the limits of being human. Often when a loved one crosses over, they will stick around awhile, checking in on their family and friends. If they left things undone or they hurt people during their lifetime, they will have much reflection and even regret and they'll have to correct those mistakes on the other side. So nobody gets a free pass from doing their work. The choice is always yours...do it now or do it later. Many will have to repeat lifetimes.....with some of the same players, just to get it right. As we ease into 2013....I say a blessing that offers continued illumination for those who choose to wake up. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that"...(Martin Luther King, Jr.). "When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself"....(Tecumseh).

Spirit Warrior

 "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye"...(H. Jackson Brwon, Jr.)

What if our journey here toward enlightenment is about love. Being enlightened is being in a state of love all of the time is it not? Christ was in a state of love and forgiveness, even when he was angry. His anger was still a loving state. All of the major religions talk about love and you certainly cannot attain a state of healing without love. A spirit warrior knows this...that you must be in a state of kindness in all that you do. That does not mean you allow others to harm you. Sometimes those are lessons in boundaries and knowing that others may not have your best interests in mind. I have been hurt numerous times because I freely gave caring behavior to people who were too wounded to return the favor. I do not regret showing them that I am compassionate, but I had wounds of my own to heal after those interactions. I grew tremendously in the process. I have also found that in having been with people who are selfish, closed off or detached that I was taught the biggest lesson of all....to value love and kindness once it was demonstrated to me. What if I told you that you can have it all and not have to make trade offs in love? What if it just flowed easily and effortlessly. Would you believe me or would you attract pain because its all you know? Are you willing to go outside the box, to challenge your own self limiting beliefs about love and to take risks? People settle because they believe they have to and they are too afraid to dream big. Why limit yourself to settling? Everyone does it at some point..but the price you pay is just too big. When you settle, you sell off parts of yourself and nobody wins in that scenario. Living that way is not living at all. People also attract superficial because they are following their eyes, not their hearts. That just leads to being in shallow or fleeting relationships because they are built on sand. Depth comes from trusting your heart and following it every step of the way. It also means holding a vision of real love and a relationship built on heart which defies the eyes. I may be a dreamer but I knew what I wanted and it wasn't something unattainable...I wanted to find a man brave enough to be by my side, a man of strength and character. I also knew that my heart would recognize him when he came along. I had to test some men along the way, to see if they had the strength to be warriors, but they weren't. Then my warrior showed up quitely...right in front of me and my heart is still in disbelief. I like that we pinch ourselves each day, both in shock that we finally found one another. That's how it should feel...beautiful, easy and now my soul dances every day. Like the love letter I wrote awhile back, beckoning my soul mate as I essentially said...."I'm ready, I'm hopeful and I'm waiting for you." So, hold your own vision of what you want and make sure your vision comes from the heart. Be clear and be willing to do the work to get there. It does take work because you have to endure pain to truly appreciate joy. "Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you"...(Eric Fromm). "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies"...(Aristotle).

Crossroads

"The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.”

–Napoleon Hill


Where are you going? Do you know? Are you on your own path or are you on a path others designed for you? Simple questions really but the answers may not be so easy. There were times in my life that I was doing what I thought was expected of me versus what I really wanted to do. Not surprisingly, I was unhappy with myself during those times in my life. When we defy our hearts...our bodies and souls rebel. People tend to over eat, get caught up in addictions, end up depressed or otherwise self destructive behaviors when they lose sight of who they really are. Many just want to be victims because it gives them an excuse to blame others and avoid taking responsibility of their own lives. Many, many people live their lives that way. Each person has a chance to change however....but many choose to stay lost and wandering. The braver souls pick a direction and no matter which trail they pick...they learn something. When I counsel teens and adults about choices, the biggest message I give them is this. It doesn't matter whether you go right, left or straight, just pick a path and see where it leads. You'll learn no matter what. The universe will weave you in another direction if you veer off course. The biggest problem is that people don't pick any path to follow and thus, they always feel lost. The other problem is that people stay stuck ruminating over their problems rather than focusing on solutions. If you try to control the things you cannot control, you might as well dig your own hole now because it goes nowhere but deeper underground. That is a guaranteed way to stay stuck. "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't"...(Steve Maraboli). So, I'll keep this article short...like a wonderful quick hike.  Pick a trail and see where it leads. It's your life and nobody can live it but you. "You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down"...(Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon).  

Being Genuine

"Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot"...(David Herbert Lawrence). What do a 30 year year old hottie from LA, a 45 year old doctor from Beverly Hills and a 65 year old CPA all have in common? All have profiles on a dating site for people searching for extra marital affairs. I think more women should be aware that their husbands might be on-line shopping to cheat on their spouses. Now, I must first say that every man on that site says he wants discretion, yet a huge majority of them have a head shot visible or they send their private pics to a virtual stranger without getting to know them. One man was posing as a married man but I busted him on a singles dating site. He wasn't even smart enough to change his profile name. I think he must enjoy pretending to be married so that he can have sex with women without having to buy them dinner. Other men are sending photos of them with their wives and children! Where is the discretion in that? Even better is the amount of men sending shots of their very erect private parts. Yep, you read that correctly. I'm sure the wives would be completely shocked to discover that pictures of their husbands private parts are all over the internet. Very professional, successful men are sending pictures of their junk to any female profile. I have never laughed so hard while doing some investigating on this site. One guy even sent a picture of his ass. Now, I do not know what men are thinking. We women have an amazing ability to visualize just fine. I have a terrific imagination, so I do NOT need to see a picture of a guys junk. It does nothing for me. Every woman I know says the same thing. We all prefer to be surprised by the entire package once intimacy takes place. Unlike men, we are not visual creatures. Men are just as clueless on the singles sites. They post cheesy pics of themselves half naked in the bathroom mirror or pictures of them driving. Really? Are the car shots to make sure we know they own a car and can pick us up for a date? How are those pictures appealing? The car shots look more like mug shots. The bathroom pics are some desperate attempt to look sexy. It's not. I love reading the profiles of men saying they want frequent long romantic walks, holding hands, endless flirting, yet they specify that they are not looking for love or commitment of any kind and seek exploring the woman's naughty side. Hmmmmm...basically they are saying "I want sex, lots of it...I won't give a shit about you but I will tell you all the romantic things you want to hear to get you naked." One guy that just e-mailed me is a handsome, 30 year old man...yet he's already cheating on his wife and even specifies that he's looking for one night stands and threesomes. All I can say to that is "wow." Not sure what kind of gal would take him up on that...but I'm sure there are plenty of women who feel bad enough about themselves to take him up on his offer. Another single man on the site e-mailed a friend of mine who also has a profile. She told him that she would only use him for an orgy with all of her friends (as a joke)...and without even seeing a picture of her, was willing to meet her. My friend and I have been baffled by these men. Many of them are willing to meet a complete stranger for sex...and most of them tell my friends profile one thing and tell my profile something different. My friend plays the naughty girl and the men are willing to line up (lawyers, doctors... retirees, you name it) to have a turn with her. Those same men e-mail my nice girl profile saying that they are gentlemen who would wine and dine me. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for myself! The singles sites are just as crazy. The men on those sites just sell the "love" card more, even though many of those men are just looking for sex as well. Now, men have told me that they have come across many women playing the same game. Many women write that they want a relationship, only to jump the man on the first date. What has happened to relationships in our society? What happened to integrity and honor? I know that affairs are going to happen and are often a catalyst. I am not judging that process...I am disturbed about the lack of personal accountability and integrity in how one puts themselves out there. Some people have open marriages or at least very honest in what they are looking for and available for. It's the deception that is concerning. The deal is this....a person who is not genuine will eventually give themselves away. A person cannot maintain their facade for too long without some discrepancies beginning to show. Women and men need to take that time to figure out if someone is who they really say they are. The genuine person will remain consistent. Most importantly, trust your gut when you are getting to know someone. If something doesn't feel right....pay attention to that! "My concern is how we learn to be genuine human beings"...(Lloyd Alexander).

Waiting For A Star

"To us also, through every star, through every blade of grass, is not God made visible if we will open our minds and our eyes"...(Thomas Carlyle). What if I told you that you are a star. Yes, as cliche as that sounds, if women valued themselves more and felt like stars, they wouldn't lower themselves to giving themselves away, being manipulated or otherwise self degrading behaviors. Women also lower themselves when they think they are being powerful by being caddy, manipulative, selfish, cruel or controlling. Being confident exudes a presence like no other. It is the ability to be firm, aware, savvy yet compassionate and caring. Our greatest strength as women is our ability to feel. I believe a confident woman is strong in her sensibilities yet emotionally balanced. I am proud of the fact that I am feeling oriented, yet I will not allow my feelings to get in the way of a decision that is best for me. Women need to balance their masculine (logical) with their feelings. Often men dismiss women because women get bogged down and overwhelmed with their feelings. When a woman is consumed by emotions, she cannot think clearly or necessarily protect herself. Men have a different challenge in today's society. They need to become more comfortable with their feminine sides, thus feelings. I have come across men that say they feel. They will cry, appear to emote and talk the talk, yet they are so far gone from feeling that it's astounding. Those men deceive themselves and women. They can be the most ruthless, heartless men of them all because they believe they are really feeling when in fact they have learned to use emotions to get what they want. Hey, women are guilty of that as well. I cannot stress enough how being honest with oneself is the first step in an authentic life. Being a star means being true to yourself. So many people are living false lives, hiding behind their masks. I come across so few genuine people. Why are people afraid to be themselves? It's not an easy process to really face yourself. It's much easier to dodge and weave your way through life. There is a price to pay for that however. You leave such a karmic mess by manipulating people, that you'll have to come back to make amends for all the harm you've imposed. Living a facade is such deception however and the easy way out. People live that way because it gives them a sense of control and safety. Daring to be yourself means to shake loose old beliefs, push through fears and to actually feel vulnerable. The lessons of the here and now are all about waking up. An awakening is really just what it sounds like...suddenly becoming aware of what you had not seen before and finally coming into your own existence. My message today...dare to find your light within, to be authentic, free and honest in who you are. Being a star is a gift that lies dormant in us all....but few are brave enough to uncover our unlimited potential. "You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star"...(Friedrich Nietzsche).

All or Nothing

All I want is everything...a passionate kiss, a warm embrace, a smile, laughter, flirting and butterflies in my stomach while desire stirs and builds a blissful connection. I love the line...I want it all, or nothing at all. I am tired of people playing it safe and refusing to commit or follow their hearts in any way. So many men seem to be following one thing..their libido, not their hearts. Perhaps many are just so detached from their hearts that the only thing they can feel is their desire for sex. Desiring sex is pretty easy..it's hardwired into the body really. Look, we are all sexual beings, but there is no denying that the male libido is usually higher than that of a female. Women generally have more control over their desires. We take longer to arouse, so we are not often led by our libido's. Many women have the opposite problem of men....usually emotional issues, self consciousness and insecurities get in the way of the woman being able to be more uninhibited. Am I crazy to want it all? A passionate relationship with feelings. Is it near impossible to find a sexually and emotionally confident man? I'm asking because I have observed a lot of men...sacrificing their families and their pride to get women into bed. When I say sacrificing...I have become aware of a dating site that primary focuses on men and women searching for affairs. Men out number the women drastically on the site. Many of the men make excuses as to why they let their libido lead them. They tell women things like, "I just have an insatiable sex drive," or they of course claim that there is no passion with their wives. I find the same problem on the singles dating sites. Some men claiming to want relationships really only want casual flings and many other men simply state that they are looking for intimate encounters. Men are searching for sex but running from feelings...and sure...some women are too. It has really surprised me how many men will just tell women what they want to hear to get them into bed. Women really need to be more savvy about this. Sure, women are told this but in my observations....more often than not, a lot of men will say anything to get laid. The sad part is that many naive women end up hurt when men mislead them, thinking that there is a relationship building and the bottom line is that the men just wanted sex and they move on. Why can't there be clearer communication about this instead of lies, misleading communication and manipulation? Men have their gripes about flakey women. I'm sure that many women are guilty of misleading men as well. My other concern is how some men allow flirting and initial desire to build only to flee when they start to feel. It just makes men look as if they only wanted sex. What happened to honor in relationships? All or nothing...thats my challenge. I wish that people expected more from themselves and others rather than running, hiding, misleading or playing it safe. If I hear one more time from my female clients that the men they are dating say that they are "not looking for drama or a serious relationship at the moment"....I think I will scream. If I've heard it once, I've certainly heard it a thousand times. What does that mean really? Drama means emotions. Yes, often women do not know how to communicate directly, so men become overwhelmed by a woman's emotions. Claiming to not want a serious relationship right now is a cop out. It's saying...I don't want a relationship with you, but I'll gladly continue to date and sleep with you while you hold out hope that I'll be ready one day. It also could mean that the man is afraid of his feelings and it's just safer to escape with that line of bull. Either way, many women are simply left baffled and frustrated. No wonder many women may appear flakey. Most have been told a pack of lies over and over that they begin to mistrust all men. Men have been misled as well by women who claim to want commitment and yet they ditch the nice men for the bad boys every chance they get. The bottom line is that women and men need to become empowered in their dating lives. Women need to protect themselves emotionally...and to reserve their hearts for the truly brave men who prove themselves to be honorable. And men...they need to be more honest in their approach with women. "Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character"...(Henry Clay).

Paradise

One of my newest favorite songs is "Paradise" by Coldplay. I love the message in the song, that the girl finds her paradise when she falls asleep at night and dreams. Paradise is something we create in our minds and is a reality that we can visit anytime. The messages about life I have received lately is that people often get lazy and even those who say they are in touch with their highest purpose, often take the easy way out. When people do not listen to their intuition and ignore the numerous messages sent to them through synchronicity, they become more cut off from their true purpose. Yes, free will is allowed but veering off course always comes with a hefty price tag.  Hey, its not unlike school. If you get lazy with your school work, you miss homework assignments and you don't study, you will get bad grades or perhaps risk not graduating. Earth school works the same way. In fact, the lazier you get with your earthy lessons, you end up feeling indifferent, cut off and purposeless. Our spirit guides have great compassion and patience with us but they invest more energy in those displaying the most potential by doing their work. When you slack off, let fear block you or just refuse to follow the signs, the guides expend less and less energy on you. Come on, think about it...it's just like in our lives. If a friend keeps coming to us for advice and they never listen but instead just ignore everything you say, how likely are you to expend too much more time and energy helping them? Chances are, you begin to pull away, getting more frustrated with their laziness or plain refusal to change. It's their choice to stay stuck but you are not going to keep helping someone who is not helping themselves. Our spirit guides work on similar principals. Guidance is always available but guides don't focus so much energy on those who refuse to do their work. When guides begin to depart, you feel an energy shift and life becomes more mundane and routine. You may even notice that you have less energy and it takes more effort to get things done. I find the biggest perk to staying connected and doing my homework is that things fall into place more easily and everything I need gravitates toward me without much effort. In essence, the one way to create more of a paradise on earth is to stay in tune to doing your emotional and spiritual work. As the saying goes, "energy follows thought" so staying positive, focused and centered on growing as a person ensures positive results. Sure, there are tests along the way, but those tests are to help you grow more as a person and to help you get stronger. In addition, some trials are a part of soul contracts made by individuals, cleaning up old karma. Healing old karma is like mending fences, shifting the energy so that your soul becomes elevated. Everyone is attracting the exact individuals into their lives that they need for their highest good and for the most growth for their soul. If you attract someone that hurts you, then ask yourself what you might be replaying or what you needed to help you heal so that you could progress through this lesson. Many people just remain stuck in their pain because they are afraid to live empowered lives. Victimhood is a choice of perception and the easy way out while true empowerment takes effort and work.  Paradise is at hand however, once you take the steps necessary to keep moving forward, excited every day at the opportunities waiting around each corner for another opportunity to graduate to the next level. "When the storm is over and the night falls and the moon is out in all its glory and all you're left with is the rhythm of the sea, of the waves, you know what God intended for the human race, you know what paradise is"....(Harold Pinter).