Simon Says

I remember playing the game Simon Says as a kid. As I recall, everyone wanted to be Simon, so much so that sometimes we fought over the honor of being Simon. Being Simon meant that we were in charge, the big cheese, the leader. As kids...it was a big deal to be the leader. As adults though, it seems that most people lose that excitement to be in charge and many become followers. I'm not sure when fear kicked in and it just seemed safer to fade into the background, probably in Junior High School, when self consciousness kicks in. I observe so many adults complaining behind the scenes about everything and everyone, but instead of being a part of the solution, they become a part of the problem. Many will be negative about those brave enough to be in leaderships positions but they will never step up to volunteer or try for those positions. I suppose our current education system doesn't help the situation. It is a system based on creating followers. Children are taught to regurgitate information rather than thinking for themselves. Many magnet school are trying to pave the way for more Simon's and less followers, but most schools still follow the old model of creating diligent followers. The kids today are demanding more however. They want to be Simon's and parents are forced to either fight their children to comply with the system or challenge themselves to find ways for their children to express themselves. I watch parents around me though, so worried about what other people think, suppressing their own voices. How can people teach their children to be empowered if they themselves are not. Following others may be safe, but it's not necessarily the right thing to do. I believe in fighting for what's right, not fighting just to fight. I personally like being Simon. If I volunteer to be Simon, it's because I know that I have something to contribute. I also respect other Simon's. I recently volunteered to become the Girl Scout Service Unit Manager of the unit in my area. I honestly was willing to help out in any way to support anyone who would have volunteered to take over that position, but nobody stepped up. In an effort to see this unit thrive and not take a dive, I stepped up. This is one more role in my life that I'll have to fake until I make it. I will also have to encourage and cheerlead others to become Simon's. In fact, the mission of Girl Scouting in general is to create future leaders. In true Girl Scout fashion, I am stepping up with courage, confidence and leadership. I want my children to see that even if I'm afraid, I step up to help others, help a cause and to make a difference. So, I'd like to think that Simon would say...."The work of today is the history of tomorrow, and we are its makers"...(Juliette G. Low).

Love Hurts

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light"...(Jean Giraudoux). The latest song playing repetitively in my household is called "Love Hurts" by Incubus. I loved the song immediately when my nephew played it for us on our recent family trip to Sedona. My oldest son loves it even more though. He makes me play it continuously. He's eleven...what does he know about love and heartbreak. I think about all that he has ahead of him. He'll know about love hurting one day and when he does, the words to this song just might help console him, if only to remind him that the journey of love almost always comes with some lessons in pain. The song reminds listeners though that love is worth the risk because without love, you die inside. Over the past several years, my son had a front row seat to the confusion, break up and reconciliation of his father and I. I'm sure he processed some lessons about love from what he observed. He knows all too well now that relationships are not easy, nor does he have a Disney version of romance. He was happy though that he got the real "Parent Trap" story in his life and that his parents found a way to rediscover love and romance with each other. I've thought about love long and hard and it always seems that love becomes more profound and genuine after loss and pain. It seems that it's only through loss we discover the depths of our love. I see all too often people remaining shallow and distracted with the very people they say they love, only to absolutely crumble when they lose the person they took for granted. Some people remain shallow in relationships to protect themselves from getting hurt. You can run from your fears but you can't hide, because running equates to numbing and avoiding depth. In the end, that race just leads you feeling empty and alone, even in the presence of others. Being around people who are numbing is just truly painful...because I can always feel their incredible avoidance of really feeling. It's sort of like being around an actor who is always on stage. Nothing feels real or genuine around them because they're empty inside and faking life becomes their reality. So...when you challenge yourself to feel...you will inevitably hurt. I also love the song, "Better than a Hallelujah" by Amy Grant, because she expresses how painful feelings are beautiful expressions of our real and honest selves. My son may only be eleven but he already understands that with love comes pain, but it's a worthy price to pay. "Where there is love, there is pain"...(Spanish proverb). “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love"...(Mother Teresa).

Crossing Over

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time"...(Mark Twain). Today's blog article is in honor of my uncle who passed away today suddenly. His death was like his life....on his terms. He died doing something he loved, flying. One could be saddened by this tragic accident, yet in sadness...I respect his desire to keep taking risks, right up until the very end. When someone dies, a strange door is opened and everyone touched by that loss takes pause to reflect about life and death. Each loss reminds us that we are all one step away from crossing over, whether that day be today or many years from now. We cannot live each day in fear of death however. Living a life in fear is living a life half dead. What's the point of that? Death teaches us all that we have a choice to live life to the fullest. People often get mired down in the pain of loss and the fear of death, neglecting the very life they have been given to live. Sometimes deep reflection after a loss is needed however, to honor the life of the loved one who crossed over as well as reflecting about the meaning of life. As strange as that sounds, people are so busy with their daily concerns that they forget what a true miracle life really is. Yet after a loss....people are touched by the opening of deaths door. The opening of that door is an opportunity for healing. We can heal in forgiveness and in taking stock of what we've learned from the life of the person who passed. Every person's life is a lesson and can teach us something, even if those lessons are what we'd do differently. It's so interesting to watch how people are in daze after a death and how they join together in bereavement. A loss weaves family and friends together through their sadness and their reflections. If only for a moment in time, people who have been scattered, come together to honor the life of their loved one. Loss connects us all ultimately because to live is to have lost and no soul is untouched by death. Here are some inspiring quotes about the lessons that death teaches us. “I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death"...(Robert Fulghum). “Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows"...(Pope Paul VI). "We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears. We must not demean life by standing in awe of death"...(David Sarnoff). “Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy"...(Eskimo Proverb). Living life with love, passion and heart is the lesson I choose to honor from each loss. A person's life is their legacy here and forever leaves an imprint in the lives they've touched. So in honor of my uncle....I say a blessing to remind people to live life fully, with everything they've got. Laugh so deeply that it hurts, don't hold back loving words because you fear rejection and just let yourself feel every emotion fully. Why hold back? Life is but a blink of an eye and will be over before you know it...so enjoy, cry, scream, and love with every part of your heart and soul.