Love Hurts

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light"...(Jean Giraudoux). The latest song playing repetitively in my household is called "Love Hurts" by Incubus. I loved the song immediately when my nephew played it for us on our recent family trip to Sedona. My oldest son loves it even more though. He makes me play it continuously. He's eleven...what does he know about love and heartbreak. I think about all that he has ahead of him. He'll know about love hurting one day and when he does, the words to this song just might help console him, if only to remind him that the journey of love almost always comes with some lessons in pain. The song reminds listeners though that love is worth the risk because without love, you die inside. Over the past several years, my son had a front row seat to the confusion, break up and reconciliation of his father and I. I'm sure he processed some lessons about love from what he observed. He knows all too well now that relationships are not easy, nor does he have a Disney version of romance. He was happy though that he got the real "Parent Trap" story in his life and that his parents found a way to rediscover love and romance with each other. I've thought about love long and hard and it always seems that love becomes more profound and genuine after loss and pain. It seems that it's only through loss we discover the depths of our love. I see all too often people remaining shallow and distracted with the very people they say they love, only to absolutely crumble when they lose the person they took for granted. Some people remain shallow in relationships to protect themselves from getting hurt. You can run from your fears but you can't hide, because running equates to numbing and avoiding depth. In the end, that race just leads you feeling empty and alone, even in the presence of others. Being around people who are numbing is just truly painful...because I can always feel their incredible avoidance of really feeling. It's sort of like being around an actor who is always on stage. Nothing feels real or genuine around them because they're empty inside and faking life becomes their reality. So...when you challenge yourself to feel...you will inevitably hurt. I also love the song, "Better than a Hallelujah" by Amy Grant, because she expresses how painful feelings are beautiful expressions of our real and honest selves. My son may only be eleven but he already understands that with love comes pain, but it's a worthy price to pay. "Where there is love, there is pain"...(Spanish proverb). “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love"...(Mother Teresa).