I Still Believe....

Love is just a word until someone comes along who breathes life into the word and into your heart and quite suddenly, love has meaning. Matters of the heart are sensitive and unique to each individual. What makes us fall in love with one individual and not another? What is love at its core? Love is so incredibly irrational. It comes from the depth of our souls and no amount of arguing can talk you out of it. It is such a profound soul connection between two people. The difficulty however is managing love in the midst of life, timing, defenses and circumstances. I love the movie, "Love in the Time of Cholera." It depicts how two individuals who clearly love each other, get side tracked by obligations, expectations and life. They are kept from each other until they are in their 60's, when they finally have a chance to be together. It depicts the beauty of love never fading. I also like the song, "Breathe" by Taylor Swift. It describes how she has to walk away from someone she loves and is so upset that she can barely breathe. That's what love does to people, it turns the most composed people into emotional wrecks. This blog is about love because with all of the sorrow and pain that comes with love, we all still go on trying to find it. The pain and sorrow is worth it because it means you opened your heart. Better to have opened your heart than remain closed up in a shell your entire life. Most people stay in their shells, guarded, jaded, making excuses to keep their hearts closed up. Many more stay in loveless marriages, become bitter or give up on themselves and love all together. Love is not a fairy tale like Cinderella but when you feel love for even one second, it is a feeling like no other. Love may begin with a dream, a fantasy or chemistry but it continues with opening your heart, a leap of faith and taking a risk. Often times, people are just too afraid to take that leap of faith. I am counseling several individuals in the center of attempting to make love work and some are in the midst of loss and pain due to loving. One client is incredibly sad at having to say good-bye to someone she loves. She does not regret loving him but is heartbroken that they have to part ways due to his fears. Another couple warm my heart because they clearly adore each other. They are taking the risk to be together but their fears are about trust and in navigating through their defenses. Defenses can be like a mine field for a couple. You have to walk carefully and gently around the mines to understand one another until most of the mines become disarmed. Love takes time and continued patience. The song "I Believe," inspired this entire blog and came from some dreams I had. The lyrics are: "Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand. Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand. Open up your mind and then open up your heart. You will see that you and me, we aren't very far apart. Because, I believe that love is the answer.... I believe that love will find a way." So, even if you are currently shedding tears in the name of love, always believe in it. Pain honors love and means that you were willing to open your heart. It is a tribute to your strength and to the beauty of loving. Love gives meaning to life and when it works and two people are in synch with letting love flow, it is one of life's miracles. “One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter"...(James Earl Jones). “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul"...(Judy Garland).