Our Own Worse Enemy

The journey to self love seems to be the most difficult for everyone I come across. It does not matter how successful someone is in one or more areas of their lives. They may have confidence in an area of their life.....but overall, self love still seems out of reach. In the book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says that humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be. He says that people become very self-abusive, and they use other people to abuse them as well. Ruiz states that the way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed. Why is everyone so hard on themselves?? We have the capabilities to love, transform, heal, hope and learn. So many people can also be so angry at themselves and others, be full of hate and self loathing. Those early years of imprinting during childhood really does a number on everyone! Those early childhood experiences of adults being critical, harsh, ignoring, withholding, judgemental, scolding and the like eventually becomes your own inner critic. The journey is to transcend those lessons and learn that everyone is worthy. So many people say statements like "I am not good enough" and "I don't deserve him or her, the job, or to get what I want." Of course the inner judge can say worse things, "I can't do it, I'm dumb, I'm terrible, I'm not as good as they are," and the list goes on and on. People can be incredibly cruel to themselves! It can be very difficult to get what you want if you are secretly sabotaging at every turn. If you attract a great relationship but you don't feel worthy, you end up pushing them away one way or another with harsh behavior until finally, they give you what you feel you deserve, they leave. The harder you are on other's......the harder you really are on yourself, you're just covering it up in judgement, anger or fear. Ruiz states, "the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit you will tolerate from someone else." That statement is a reminder that other's hold up a mirror of your insecurities and lack of self worth. That may be a tough statement to take, but if you keep putting up with bad behavior from someone, somewhere deep within, you believe you deserve it. The opposite can be said as well, that If you are treating other's badly, then you feel incredibly unworthy too. Nobody is perfect. Changing your thoughts about perfection and reflecting about where the unworthiness comes from is the first step to self acceptance and loving yourself. The journey to attain self love and empowerment is the only path to fulfillment, joy and getting everything you really want. It all starts with you. Happiness will always be forever alluding you if you don't find happiness within first. It all goes back to love........stop being your own worse enemy and be loving to yourself, one thought at a time.