I'm Too Sexy

I just love the song, I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. That song is pretty funny as it speaks about our society's view of sexy. The image the media sells of sexy is a marketing and PR campaign of half dressed models, perfume, make-up and material things. Men are sold as sexy when they have power and money. Women are sold as sexy with images of minimal clothing and how she looks. Sexy is really about a feeling. When a person genuinely feels good about themselves, that is sexy. Anyone can fake it by wearing the clothes sold as "sexy" but then they are just marketing themselves. Anyone can sell an image, but is that really sexy? Sure it may temporarily impress, but it's not authentic. The journey of feeling sexy is about being confident, self-assured and empowered. The more you feel good about who you are, the sexier that looks and feels. Feeling good by the way, may come with insecurities, but that's sexy. The journey is about exposing one's vulnerabilities and saying "hey, I like myself anyway." It's also about not being so afraid about what others think. We are human and thus we all have insecurities....the journey is to embrace those insecurities and to accept your flaws. Sexy needs to be redefined. It is about being yourself, not prescribing to an image. In my 20's, I bought into the sexy image and wore way too much make-up, wore really tight, short skirts and felt like a complete fraud. I felt like I could never match the image and hated the pressure I felt to look the part. The journey for me has been to discover who I really was, under the mask. Now I try to help men and women of all ages navigate the pressures society, spouses, family, themselves have put on them to live up to an image. The image is fake and needs to fall away. Under the facades is the real, sexy you waiting to be discovered. Feeling sexy is just feeling good in your own skin. When you feel good you treat yourself better, eat better, exercise and take time for yourself. Those things are sexy. Also, when you start treating yourself better, you automatically begin to feel more confident. "Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part"....(Aimee Mullins). "Any piece of clothing can be sexy, with a quietly passionate woman inside it"...(Anonymous). I wonder what Buddha would have said about feeling sexy. Maybe something like....."sexiness comes from within. Do not seek it without." Perhaps he would have also said, "What you think you become. If you think you are sexy, you are." Some of my female clients say that the sexiest man is one who is confident, attentive and holds the door open for her. Men say that a sexy woman is someone who is self assured, smiles, and is not afraid to be herself. Despite the media view, many of the men I counsel are not hung up on the size of a woman or looks, it is more about how she carries herself and the ability for her to show her passionate, sensual side. This month, allow yourself to feel your best. There is nothing sexier than just feeling great about yourself.....it is the best Valentine's Day present you can gift yourself.