He's Got Game

It is a new dating game alright! It's very interesting when you are conversing and flirting with someone intriguing and thanks to facebook, you get to see recent postings of jacuzzi escapades he is having with other women. This is a real story related to me today from a female client. Modern technology can be great but sure can complicate the dating game. It takes away the mystery of things when conquests are advertised so easily. Every guy however has got to have "game," his way of attracting and seducing a woman. If a guy has no game, then he's alone on weekend nights and ends up pretty frustrated. Even a guy playing the "I'm genuine" card is still using that to attract women. It is a game that men and women are playing and we can never forget that. It is a lot of pressure for men to have to initiate dating and sex. Think about it women....if we were completely in charge of dating, we'd have to come up with a strategy too. Not that there are not plenty of aggressive women out there, but overall, the chase begins with the guy. Women play games too. A women's game is her strategy of enticing men and keeping them interested. All too often women forget there is a game involved and drop their guards much too quickly, only to become prey to their hunters, without ever knowing what hit them. If men kept their game going long after the initial chase, then women might not complain so much about neglectful lovers and relationships would be more fulfilling. The same could be said for women. Being secure and committed in a relationship can be nice but women forget to keep their game going a bit. The bottom line is that men and women need to keep investing some of the energy they initially invested to attract the partner to keep the relationship passionate and interesting. Men are still the strategists initially. They are playing a masterful game of dating chess. Some girls give in too quickly without being much of a challenge and men quickly lose interest in them. Women can work on this by sharpening their "game" skills early on. Even if a couple has been together for a long time, men and women can and should challenge each other to keep things interesting. Women and men complain constantly to me that either can begin to take the 1-2-3 easy route to sex, once in established relationships, rather than continuing the erotic game of cat and mouse. Another frustration that women relate to me is how they crave emotional closeness in relationships and look forward to the calls, texts and e-mails. Men however control the emotional game initially, while women control the sexual pacing. A good strategist knows just how much to give to keep someone interested. That's why calls, texts and e-mails from guys can peak and wane depending on their strategy. Some guys feed the emotional card, lavishing the woman with calls until they get what they want. Later on down the line, women complain "they use to call me all the time, now they never call!" Does not take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Once the relationship becomes secure, the long calls and texts fade. Other guys play the "aloof" card. They create a desire by not always being available. They give a little emotional closeness only to disappear off the radar, creating mystery. Women complain that those guys confuse them. That game can stir up desire but can backfire on them because women often become frustrated with that game and move on if the guy plays that game too long. Another type of game is "the romantic." Those guys will charm the pants off of you, practically telling you they are Romeo and you are Juliet. They will promise or perhaps deliver some pampering and romancing. Some romancers will play that card until they get what they want, then turn aloof. The bottom line...everybody's got game!! In the process of the games and the chase, people do fall in love. Others catch a mate only to discover that the chase was the appeal and it turns out to be a bad match. All of dating begins with a game however and hopefully some much needed chemistry. So, get your game on! Be as genuine as one can be while playing the game and never to forget to have fun while playing it. If the game is fun and couples make each other laugh as well as keeping each other on their toes, then you've got a good start to something. Men and women aren't so different after all. We all really want to have fun, be inspired, challenged and have some physical intimacy along the way. We may go about the game differently, but life is a game....you just need to learn how to play it with an open heart.