Follow Your Path

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path"...(Buddha). I posted this quote on Facebook and a friend joked that since I am a therapist, am I trying to put myself out of business. Very funny, but got me thinking. Therapy has it's place and I truly feel incredibly blessed to have the job that I do. However, good therapy should really help the client illuminate what they are really feeling. We all already have the answers inside of us. The problem is when people doubt and question what they already feel internally. In fact, people's feelings can build panic and anxiety because they are afraid to own what they are really feeling. Panic and anxiety become the smoke screen. Sometimes it helps to have an unbiased perspective help sort those feelings out or even better, to understand the root cause for the emotions, the worry of facing one's feelings and to unravel the fears, one by one. The answers are always within however. One man, we'll call him Simon, came to therapy clearly unhappy with his marriage. He knew that his marriage lacked love and connection from the moment they had gotten married but fell into the treadmill of life, continuing forward with no end in sight. Simon had so much fear in fully owning how deeply unhappy he was, felt like a failure for wanting out of his marriage and felt somehow that everyone would be angry with him if he left his wife. This case could sum up many men and women I have counseled over the years. In the process of Simon's therapy, he had to reflect on why he chose this spouse and why ultimately he felt he deserved to be treated so badly. Because he was always an honorable man, he had tried to please a woman whom he could never make happy. That was not his fault, it was a core issue from childhood he brought into the relationship. Simon's wife needed to control and he wanted to please. Like most people, he had also never been taught to fully trust his feelings. In this case, he started therapy already knowing how he felt. Simon already had the answers, but his journey in therapy was to sort out his fears, completely own his feelings and become empowered enough to take action. Everybody brings their core issues into their relationships. The process of therapy is always just reflecting and owning what you already know inside of yourself and becoming more aware of one's own core issues to shift behavior. The therapist helps shed light on one's feelings, clarify patterns and weed out issues you may be too afraid to face or have pushed deep into the subconscious. We have ended up with a society of people so afraid to trust what they are feeling. Feelings are trying to guide you. A therapist steps in to help you gain trust in yourself again and to sort through the various wounds and blocks that have gotten in the way of something so natural....feelings. Another gift of therapy can often just be having someone validate what you are feeling. More often than not, people come in feeling "crazy" and are so relieved to hear that it's okay to own what they are feeling. Buddha was right though, no one can save us except ourselves. Each one of us has to do the work, even if you need a therapist to help decipher the messages your feelings are giving to you. Even therapy can be unhealthy sometimes, if you become overly dependent on someone else giving you the answers all of the time. The journey is to work on gaining trust in oneself, then we can be our own best therapist. We are each on our own path and the world can offer limitless possibilities. Trust that your dream life, your intuition and the layers of your feelings are always trying to wake you up to who you are meant to be and where you are heading. Your divine destiny awaits you, just begin to honor your feelings because they reveal the inner you. If your feelings are of panic, fear and avoidance...then those feelings are a wake-up call to figure out what you are so afraid of. The lessons and journey of discovering your authentic self are numerous and a therapist can be helpful when you are having a difficult time finding your way. The answers are always within you however and once you trust, there is no more fear in discovering what you are feeling. Sometimes there is fear in making the necessary changes in your life to honor those feelings, but to blaze a trail, one must move forward despite your fears. "The entire world is alive with messages and it speaks to us, if we will only listen. Nature reminds us of the abundant beauty present in everyday life"....(M. Farber-The Soulmate Path). It is important to take quiet time every day, to journal or be alone, to contemplate your life and the messages you are being given. "The goal is to be so in harmony with your life's purpose that you will instinctively know which paths to follow from the many that present themselves each day"...(M. Farber-The Soulmate Path). When you are confused, you are more than likely fighting or judging the messages you're being given and are out of sync with trusting your feelings. The fight within needs to be resolved first. Make peace within and follow the signs by listening to your hearts truest desires. Your intuitive self is your best guide. "Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others"...(Buddha).