Nobody's Perfect

When I was younger, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. Hey, didn't we all? I certainly remember that most of my peers were trying to impress and were very insecure, so I know that I was not alone. Some still are trying to be perfect, chasing the impossible or judging others because it takes pressure off oneself, noticing everyone else's flaws. With wisdom has come much clarity and acceptance that perfection is an illusion. What a relief to not have to be perfect!!! Whew!! Here are some truths about me. I teach a class called "Clear Your Clutter" yet my desk, car and garage have been known to be cluttered. In fact right this minute, my walk-in closet is a mess! The upside of a cluttered trunk in my mini-van is that I always have my hiking shoes and backpack ready for a spontaneous hike and can find a sweatshirt for the kids in a pinch. I do get to my breaking point though and then I clean my car and it looks like new again. That feels soooo good! I have incredible patience, but.....after my three kids have been screaming and fighting incessantly, I can even lose it once in awhile. They are getting older, so the fighting is calming down quite a bit. I am always behind on my paperwork and billing. I somehow manage to juggle what seems like a million things and once in awhile, something gets missed. We have missed several homework assignments, because I did not look thoroughly through the endless paperwork that comes home in the kids backpacks. Thank you cards for kids birthday parties may or may not get out. I did streamline that one and started handing out thank you cards AT the party as the kids and parents were leaving. Some parents praised me on that idea and said they are going to start using that little trick too. I have to congratulate myself though, because I manage to get a heck of a lot done, compared to what little actually gets missed. I'm amazed at how much I juggle actually, so I'm very proud of myself for that talent. Not being perfect has its perks. If you focus on what you are getting done, rather than feeling terrible about what you forgot....you end up feeling pretty good at the end of the day. My kids know that I am not perfect and I don't expect them to be. If they spill their juice, they clean it up because it's no big deal. They work on being responsible, but they are realistic as are we, about what that entails. My son knows that he should give his work his all...but some days, his all may be 50 percent capacity. Isn't that true for all of us. I have my stellar, full of energy days where I feel like I have had 20 cups of coffee and accomplish so much. Other days, I can barely manage to get through the day with getting one to two things done. Our energy levels peak and wane, so relaxing on the perfection issue can be one less pressure. I just can't keep up with the whole, perfect mom syndrome. I watch moms compete for the best dressed or brightest children contest. I refuse to compete.....way too much pressure for the kids and just plain illusion for the parents. I also watch dads compete for the most athletic son, screaming at their kids from the sidelines of youth sporting events. You'd think we were playing for a National Title sometimes, the way the parents are yelling. I am proud of my now 11 year old daughter with her quirky and cute style of clothing, mixing budding femininity with tomboy sensibility. She does comb her hair more often these days but she still has a style that is all her own. Even when she was the only 6 year old girl at birthday parties that wore boys swim trunks and a swim shirt. What the heck, I've gotta let her be herself! When my youngest use to begs to wear his PJ's to school, we would strike a deal and he wore his Spiderman jammie shirt with his jeans. He's in fourth grade now, so his jammie to school days are over. He would never beg to wear jammie's now unless it's jammie day at school. On a good day, you might catch me with a clean car and I look pretty put together. On a crazy day, that's another story. You'll probably see me at Starbucks grabbing a Venti coffee, a little haggard from the morning, running late for yoga. Yep, I'm often running late to relax. I wear a baseball cap almost every day and the other day, when I did my hair (no baseball cap), my son hesitated getting into the car when I went to pick him up from basketball practice because he wasn't sure that it was me! Perfection is the illusion of the ego and a heck of a lot of pressure. Sure, there are times when striving for the best can be very important, like in competitive sports or in your career. It can motivate us to work harder and strive for our goals. I'm always working to improve and better myself. But overall in life and with oneself, perfection is a goal one can never really reach. It is the little secret in life I wish I had been told when I was thirteen. DON'T TRY TO BE PERFECT!!! Enjoy your non-perfection....bask in it and just plain enjoy being you. "The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique"....(Walt Disney).