Paradise

One of my newest favorite songs is "Paradise" by Coldplay. I love the message in the song, that the girl finds her paradise when she falls asleep at night and dreams. Paradise is something we create in our minds and is a reality that we can visit anytime. The messages about life I have received lately is that people often get lazy and even those who say they are in touch with their highest purpose, often take the easy way out. When people do not listen to their intuition and ignore the numerous messages sent to them through synchronicity, they become more cut off from their true purpose. Yes, free will is allowed but veering off course always comes with a hefty price tag.  Hey, its not unlike school. If you get lazy with your school work, you miss homework assignments and you don't study, you will get bad grades or perhaps risk not graduating. Earth school works the same way. In fact, the lazier you get with your earthy lessons, you end up feeling indifferent, cut off and purposeless. Our spirit guides have great compassion and patience with us but they invest more energy in those displaying the most potential by doing their work. When you slack off, let fear block you or just refuse to follow the signs, the guides expend less and less energy on you. Come on, think about it...it's just like in our lives. If a friend keeps coming to us for advice and they never listen but instead just ignore everything you say, how likely are you to expend too much more time and energy helping them? Chances are, you begin to pull away, getting more frustrated with their laziness or plain refusal to change. It's their choice to stay stuck but you are not going to keep helping someone who is not helping themselves. Our spirit guides work on similar principals. Guidance is always available but guides don't focus so much energy on those who refuse to do their work. When guides begin to depart, you feel an energy shift and life becomes more mundane and routine. You may even notice that you have less energy and it takes more effort to get things done. I find the biggest perk to staying connected and doing my homework is that things fall into place more easily and everything I need gravitates toward me without much effort. In essence, the one way to create more of a paradise on earth is to stay in tune to doing your emotional and spiritual work. As the saying goes, "energy follows thought" so staying positive, focused and centered on growing as a person ensures positive results. Sure, there are tests along the way, but those tests are to help you grow more as a person and to help you get stronger. In addition, some trials are a part of soul contracts made by individuals, cleaning up old karma. Healing old karma is like mending fences, shifting the energy so that your soul becomes elevated. Everyone is attracting the exact individuals into their lives that they need for their highest good and for the most growth for their soul. If you attract someone that hurts you, then ask yourself what you might be replaying or what you needed to help you heal so that you could progress through this lesson. Many people just remain stuck in their pain because they are afraid to live empowered lives. Victimhood is a choice of perception and the easy way out while true empowerment takes effort and work.  Paradise is at hand however, once you take the steps necessary to keep moving forward, excited every day at the opportunities waiting around each corner for another opportunity to graduate to the next level. "When the storm is over and the night falls and the moon is out in all its glory and all you're left with is the rhythm of the sea, of the waves, you know what God intended for the human race, you know what paradise is"....(Harold Pinter).

Lifetimes

"People never leave, we are always here in our past and future lives"...(Paulo Coelho-The Aleph). What if our journey is a cycle of many lives instead of just one. We know in modern psychology that we all repeat patterns from our childhoods. What if our patterns go deeper than that? What if our patterns have been repeating for lifetimes? In addition, what if we have opportunities to grow and shift those patterns in each life so that you can become more empowered. Let's say that in an early tribal life, a young man was in love and had an opportunity to follow his heart but instead he chose to follow orders to marry the chiefs daughter from another tribe, even though he wasn't in love with her. Even after he married the other Chiefs daughter, he betrayed his wife by sneaking off with the young woman he loved. The pattern started there....a man who did not follow his heart and ultimately the two women he betrayed. Eventually he was threatened by his tribe to never see the woman he was cheating with because she was promised to marry another warrior. He complied but slowly lost all of his power because he was no longer connected to his heart and he turned into an evil warrior. The only way he could have power was to take it from others by victimizing the innocent. He had not always been evil but once he disconnected from his heart, he had lost his way. Let's just say that those same players continued the same pattern, lifetime after lifetime. Each lifetime, he would meet up with the love of his life and each time he'd be tested about whether he'd choose her or would he follow obligation. The scenario may look different each time but the souls play out the same pattern in a soul pact that the three of them made to help each of them grow. As lifetimes pass, the man makes the same error in judgement each lifetime and he betrays his heart every time and sinks into despair, anger and darkness. The women grow and change however. The women slowly take their power back each time and turn from victims to turning the tables on him by making different choices. They shift their part in the scenario, even though he hasn't. Each lifetime is an opportunity for each soul but change is a matter of choice. Let's look at another soul. He was a fighter pilot killed in World War I. He left behind a wife and several children. The wife was so overwhelmed by his loss that she sank into anger and depression. His soul never really progresses because her anger keeps him around her instead of his soul moving on. Yes, his spirit stays around the family out of guilt. Fast forward to their next life and these two souls agree to come back to heal their karma together. He comes back to meet and marry her one day to make amends for having left her in the last life and she agrees to work on forgiveness and possibly to let him go this time if needed. They meet and marry but the pattern repeats. This time, he stays by her side after they marry even though she cheats on him. Her anger toward him has been carried on from the previous life and she keeps him imprisoned with his guilt. He doesn't even know why he stays and endures her abuse. Something inside his soul is compelled to never leave her because he's trying to make it right from the past life. She doesn't know why she cheats on him and practically hates him. She has not learned to forgive or to let him go, so they are caught up in a repeat of the past lifetime, even though the situation looks different. The other irony is that she is literally reliving the past life with her obsession of all things Victorian....frozen in time. When people surround themselves with items and decor from another era, chances are. they too are frozen in a past life pattern. When souls repeat the past life pattern without learning or growing from the lesson, chances are they will have to repeat the same lessons in the next life. Their empowerment would come from one or the other saying good-bye to the other, which would break the imprisonment he feels with her. Every soul is sent guides and angels to help them on their journey. Most people are pretty unaware of the guidance they have but some feel it as synchronicity, dreams, deja vu and intuition. What if you are repeating a past life pattern and that you too have brought in some of the same souls that you have been with before to help you play it out. In addition, what if you have progressed and souls come back into your life to reward you for your hard work. It sure makes our lives look a lot different if you are open to the possibility that we are only seeing a small part of the picture. That means that every soul you have been entangled with was for a purpose to bring you to your next lesson or to complete a lesson. If you trust in a higher power, then you feel that there is just so much more at work than meets the eye. At one point in time, people believed the earth was flat...so it's not hard to believe that we may just be starting to realize that our lives are so much more infinite than what we see. "It's what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future"...(Paulo Coelho-The Aleph).


"Lifetimes"(By Sheryl Crow)

Take off your halo, take off your golden crown
The spotlight's off, the shades are down
Where are your friends now, they're ghosts in a windowpane
Sometimes it's hard to stay the same

We can live lifetimes in a single day
No matter what you do, I love you anyway
You say if you're lost inside; well, I get lonely, too
Even in the worst of times, I give my best to you

I dreamed I was swimming, fighting the undertow
Drifting in circles, no place to go
And when I woke up, I was wringing wet
So much stronger than before

We can live lifetimes in a single day
No matter what you do, I love you anyway
You say if you're lost inside; well, I get lonely, too
Even in the worst of times, I give my best to you

The words escape
The silence made
The looks betray
I'm not afraid

We can live lifetimes in a single day
No matter what you do, I love you anyway
You say if you're lost inside; well, I get lonely, too
Even in the worst of times, I give my best to you
Even in the worst of times, I give my best to you

Start of Something Good

"You are a creator. You create with your every thought...anything you can imagine is yours to be, do or have"...(Abraham-Hicks). I woke up this morning, excited to greet the day. I couldn't really sleep last night but that didn't matter. The energy around me has been keeping me up nights but this morning, I didn't care. Once I had my coffee and I started playing my new favorite songs from Daughtry's latest CD...."Breaking The Spell." I felt better than ever. Most of his songs are about love and one of his songs, "The Start of Something Good" was my theme of the day. Today was a magical day. I received vivid signs all day long...giving me messages about things in my life. So many signs happened that there were moments I could barely catch my breath. I have a saying with my friends when synchronicity is at it's best..."you just can't make this stuff up." Have you ever had one of those days when magic occurs all around you? You think something and it happens or you think about someone and you run into them or they call you out of the blue. As I wrote in my last blog post, I need magic and wonder thus I clearly attract it. It makes life so much more exciting! I have found that my ability to manifest has helped in my dating life. First, I have to say that although the dating sites offered options when I was dating before, now the computer dating sites offer me zero appeal but I will forge ahead and try the sites again with a new perspective. Many people misrepresent themselves on those sites or out and out lie. Nothing appealing about that. There also seems to be very few warriors on those sites, meaning men who are courageous, respectful and strong in who they are. Just to recap some funny experiences I had on dating sites before, let me start with the man who represented himself as a successful songwriter who e-mailed me a couple of times because he was looking for a woman to bring home and share with his wife. Another fella e-mailed me and said he'd keep his identity hidden because he is a local police officer but would I want to meet for crazy sex. I of course had to say no thank you to both of those offers. To each their own...but those offers are just not in alignment with who I am. Other guys I met for coffee, turned out to look 15 years older in person because they were using seriously old pictures of themselves. Most of the time, I felt like I was doing therapy with the men since most were very broken from past relationships. Many women I know are frustrated and they ask me..."how do you find warriors in the dating scene." Well, it's all about the law of attraction. If you believe it's out there, you will attract it. If your intuition tells you to look on dating sites for your warrior, then start there. Otherwise, just put out there what you want to attract and it will find it's way to you. If you are in complete alignment with who you are and what you want, the universe will open all of the doors to make it happen. We need more warriors but women need to be clear about what they want to attract. I hear women complain endlessly about the men they date but they do not see why they continue to attract the same type of men. I learned from my first round of dating that you have to be clear about what and whom you want to attract. Just be very aware of your thoughts because your thoughts will send out a signal to what it is you feel you deserve. My approach to dating has shifted dramatically just as with everything else in my life. Whether its dating, running a day camp or any other endeavor...I know I will attract exactly what I need and whomever is in alignment with my highest purpose. I'm so sure of that that my faith is absolutely unwavering. So start with paying attention to what you want and working on yourself first. If you are in fear or you complain endlessly about life, dating, or work...don't be surprised if you attract more suffering. If on the other hand, you display gratitude, courage and excitement....you will then discover quickly that the universe is happy to reward you with abundance.  "Within the seed of your desire is everything necessary for it to blossom to fulfillment. And Law of Attraction is the engine that does the work. Your work is just to give it a fertile growing place in order to expand"... 
(Abraham-Hicks).

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Now I lay me down to sleep....
This my prayer in vivid thoughts spinning circles around my bed
I want extraordinary not mundane
I want unreal not insane
I want to wake up each day and know that I have a purpose
Not going through my day as if it's a scripted verse
Anyone can follow a manual
Wake up, brush your teeth, go to work
Then what?
Is that truly living
Or is that a living hell?
I want to be blown away by courage, compassion and magic
Knowing that something greater is at work
Weaving its way through the fabric of our awareness
That dreams are more real than we give them credit for
And hoping is not futile
And that the saying..."Anything can happen" is possible when we least expect it
That my tears are not in vain
And my laughter is contagious
That my smile is optimistic
And that our time here is worth every single minute!!
I pray that I am heard...in my thoughts and written word
We all have something to say
But many have gone silent
Muted by fear and doubt
And those who do shout
Only do so to hear themselves spout
Trying to feel alive
Even though they barely thrive
This life is but a dream
Let love shine.....It's the only real thing
In this world of greed and contempt
Love will win...when it's from the heart
I turn out the lights now
Wishing upon wishes...
That this world gets it....because waking up can mean many things
And tomorrow offers everyone another chance at redemption and awareness
See with your heart
Not with your eyes
And life will have new meaning....

Wide Awake

"Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe"...(Josh Billings). It was a normal June day in Connecticut. The sun was shining and I was taking a much needed break in between clients to walk over to Dunkin Donuts to get my second dose of caffeinne. I was walking back with my iced coffee, enjoying the view around the quaint main street where my office is located when suddenly everything went black. I remember being vividly aware of being flat on the pavement. My knee was burning and my coffee was lying empty on the ground next to me. I was disoriented as to what had happened. Had I tripped? I don't remember tripping but who knows, maybe I was more tired than I realized. Someone ran up to me to ask if I was alright. I said yes, even though I really wasn't sure. I tried to stand up but I started to get dizzy, so I sat back down. It took what seemed like an hour to crawl the 20 feet to my office door. I opened it and my client (who had been waiting for me to return) looked alarmed and she called the ambulance. I was checked out by the EMT and they released me to her after I half heartedly convinced them that I was fine. I was still unsure about what had happened to me. My client took me to the hospital and from that moment on, my life has never been the same. As I sat waiting in the Emergency room, it really struck me how I had been sleep walking through my life. I had been neglecting my health and my important workout routine including hiking, had become a distant memory. I did not like who I had become. I focused on helping everyone else except myself. I was suddenly more awake and aware that things had to change. It turned out that I had passed out on my walk that day due to low blood pressure. The next day, I started going to the gym faithfully and I completely changed my diet. I worked on getting more sleep and I started to really look at the patterns I had allowed in my life. Diligently, I started to break every pattern that was dragging me down. It took time...and lots of patience but I continued on. I had to address the biggest culprit of all, my own guilt. For many reasons, I believed that I had to be there for everyone else. I had allowed myself to give my power away. I was angry at others for that but really, my anger was at myself. Poor self worth had fueled that faulty thinking because at the root of things, I just didn't believe I was worthy to be happy, healthy and successful.  What I have learned over the past 5 years since that fall to my awakening, is that things are not always what they seem. I discovered that the fall was an initiation of sorts, ushering me to the me I was always suppose to be. Many of the misbeliefs I had about my childhood have become illuminated and relationships that were not in my best interest fell away while new opportunities and people presented themselves. The Katy Perry song, "Wide Awake" has been playing on my iPod lately, reminding me of how far I've come since that drop to the concrete in Connecticut. I have a star shaped scar on my left knee always reminding me of the star shining inside of me from a much needed wake up call. I thank my guides for changing my life that day. Wake up calls come in various forms but make no mistake, they are the Universe's way of getting our attention. "When a man has fulfilled all four of these requisites--to be wide awake, to have fear, respect, and absolute assurance--there are no mistakes for which he will have to account; under such conditions his actions lose the blundering quality of the acts of a fool. If such a man fails, or suffers a defeat, he will have lost only a battle, and there will be no pitiful regrets over that"...(Carlos Castaneda).

In the Red

I just arrived back from my usual summer trip to the east coast. My kids and I spent the past 25 or so days in Connecticut, upstate New York and a quick night over to Vermont. As usual, the trip was very good for me and I always come back with new knowledge about myself and life. How can I even begin to explain the journies I went on while drumming, the endless contemplation about life while hiking and the feeling of having one foot on each coast. I missed California however and I am very glad to be back. I must decribe my moods in color because it helps me to describe in a visual how I am feeling, much like the way I use photograps with my words to tie nature intimately with my words. Red is a color of fire energy, it can rejuvinate, motivate and expand. Now that I am back in California, red is the best way to decribe how I am feeling. I also use the term to describe how I might be feeling when I am heading into depletion, warning me that it's time to get rejuvinated again. All I can say is that I am in the red and with that, I will channell the red energy into painting drums, getting organized, hiking and having fun with my kids. Upon reflection of the past month, I have received messages from my guides constantly, indicating that I am heading in the right direction. I learned that my tribal name was Running Elk from a past life and I watched fire flies dance around my back yard in Connecticut. I danced like crazy on a girls night out, never mind that the average age in the place was 24. My friends and I didn't care. We danced with whomever and it was incredibly freeing, dancing with abandon. I remember being so self conscious when I was younger and worrying about how I looked, forever fearful that I'd embarrass myself. Now I embrace making a fool out of myself. Just ask the girls who attended the Girl Scout camp I directed. I rapped a camp song I wrote in front of over 200 girls. I'd say my days of being overly self conscious are over. I also held a women's drumming circle at my house in Connecticut and watched in awe as 5 other women with their beautifully painted drums, joined together to send healing intentions to those in need. The power of that drumming circle was palpable. Even two of my children begged to drum with us. It was a beautiful moment. If you had asked me several years ago if I'd ever be painting shamanic drums, having drumming circles at my house and talking about past lives so openly, I would have called you crazy. Now I embrace crazy and the life I am now living. My next drumming circle will include men as well since their energy was not purposely being excluded and masculine energy would be a nice balance to the group. I am learning the meaning of balance and day by day, my self awareness grows exponentially. My children had a great time on the east coast and they embrace the fact that their mom talks about god, guides, spirit and past lives...in the same casual manner that most people talk about their neighbors. My children have embraced their bicoastal life and we are all grateful to have so many opportunities to embrace change which helps us remain open and flexible. On this trip my children were actually begging to return to California by the time we boarded the plane this morning and they were extremely excited when the plane landed in Los Angeles. The east has endless green trees and friendships that remain strong, the west coast offers us new friendships and opportunities to expand in who we are. We have surely discovered that we are truly growing and learning wherever we may find ourselves. "In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true"...(Buddha).

Courage Wins

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"...(Mark Twain). Fear and doubt  have the power to erode your very foundation.....because fear is really nothing more than false excuses appearing real. Much like building an intecrate line of dominoes. You build your foundation with hopes, dreams and wishes. Then one day...you have a real possibility of love, success and all that you have prayed for. This is the real test. You start to question your faith, undermine hope and just like that....your fears finally put enough pressure on one domino and one by one, all the rest fall. Courage is the antidote to fear however. It uses fear to motivate and it helps you persevere the tests and to feel more empowered. Its only through giving into fear that your foundation falls. On the other hand, courage protects you and builds a stronger foundation. While I was running a day camp for Girl Scouts, I told several girls that I would have them help me run the ceremony the next day. One little girl told me that she was afraid to get up in front of the audience and she asked me if I'm ever scared when I'm in front of everyone leading the camp. I told her that I use to be very afraid to talk in front of audiences but that I just kept trying until my fear went away. I told her that I refused to let fear win. A little while later, she came up to me and said that she decided to get in front of everyone and that she'd just pretend that she was in front of one person instead of an audience. She didn't give into her fears, she came up with a way around them. She had a smile on her face and she was looking forward to next day instead of dreading it. I know that her test seems small but every small test gives you strength to have the courage when bigger tests come your way. Love is the biggest test of fear versus courage. So many people justify their fear based, bad behaviors as a means to protect themselves. People site excuses like...."I've been hurt before, I can't trust anyone and It's not worth it." Once again,  excuses are just false beliefs....pure illusion. In fact, I've seen all too often, people lashing out and hurting others because they believe..."I'll hurt them before they hurt me." Courage is the opposite...it operates from honoring one's heart and taking risks. It never seeks to hurt others as it's goal. Yes, courage sometimes requires protecting oneself with boundaries but with love. Much like warriors past would head into battle to protect their tribes or to slay a bear for it's meat and fur...they would do so with the greatest respect. Courage also means taking the road less traveled and being willing to walk the path that is in direct alignment with one's highest good. You always know when you are not being courageous and when you are not following your heart. Usually you will feel terrible, have ruminating thoughts, have difficulty sleeping, feel irritated and seek to blame others. That's just to name a few. Right now, I have the courage to ask myself difficult questions, face my lessons head on, walk by faith every day and to follow my heart completely, even if that scares me sometimes. Are you going to let fear dictate your life or live courageously? Courage gives you wings and if you allow it in your life, you always win. "Fear has its use but cowardice has none"...(Mahatma Gandhi).