Reflecting

Birthdays are often a time to reflect on the past, observe where you are now and decide where you are heading. Tonight was one of those birthdays for a friend of mine. I went to a dear friends 40th surprise birthday party. My friend was so incredibly shocked by the surprise that she was shaking. Once she composed herself, she made the rounds and was so appreciative that friends and family from near and far had made every effort to share in her big day. She was profoundly moved by the entire experience and it was emotionally inspiring to see how happy she was to see everyone. Once she composed herself, she made a heartfelt speech, that many of us can relate to. She shared that approaching 40 was somewhat difficult and that she had realized lately how the most important things in her life were her relationships. She had secretly wished that she had planned ahead and organized a party to share this day with those closest to her, but life had gotten away from her. What she did not know was that her husband had planned all of this secretly. Her speech touched on the wisdom we all gather as we get older, that her relationships mean more to her than anything. It's so true that relationships in our lives are more important than money, things, careers, or just about anything else. It is the time we spend with those we care about that really matters in the end. Her party was truly special and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her excitement and deep appreciation of those she cares the most about in her life. As she looked around the room, she was reminded of the chapters she had in her life, ranging from childhood, college, grad school, kids and neighbors. New and old friends, as well as family surrounded her and cheered her on with good wishes as she enters her 40's. We all have those moments, when we take stock of our lives. What are our chapters? Who are those nearest and dearest to us? Has life gotten in the way from spending time with friends and family? Do we tell those closest to us how much we appreciate them? I miss my family very much. Having been so far away from my sisters and niece and nephews has made me appreciate what little time I have had with them each year. I vowed to make every effort to see them frequently and have kept my promise every year. I am excited to be moving back to the area my sisters live, to be able to finally attend birthday parties, graduations and even spend the holidays. Being so far away has made me much more aware of the importance of family. "Family life is full of major and minor crises -- the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul"...(Thomas Moore). Regarding friendships, they are equally important and friends certainly help us through the various chapters in our lives. There are friends along the way......friends of the road that help us in specific chapters of our lives. Those friendships are meaningful but fade away at the end of the chapter. There are friends of the heart.....whom weave in and out of the chapters of our lives but are always with us along the way. "The only way to have a friend is to be one"....(Ralph Waldo Emerson). "Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; And the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend"...(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow). The other important lesson in getting older is about really getting to know yourself. As you reflect over the chapters of your life, you can see themes and garner a better understanding of who you are based on the people you attracted into your life along the way. The lessons of each chapter are meaningful and meant to help us reach our fullest potential. What we do with the lessons is up to us. Growth is a choice and reflection is a free present you can give yourself. Happy Birthday to my friend and may she bask in the glow of her birthday reunion for years to come.