Love Can

I was enjoying my usual veggie wrap today at my favorite lunch place. A song started playing overhead called, "Two is Better Than One." It is a touching song about love and it made me smile. In the meanwhile, some quotes have really resonated with me this week about love. “Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable”...(Dr. Joyce Brothers). Love can teach us the most about ourselves. Love is a journey and requires the utmost ability to let your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Love can't be manipulated. That's not love, that's control and dependency. To learn about love, one generally has to go through learning about your defenses. With insight and wisdom comes the ability to see the other more clearly, not clouded with projections and misperceptions. Even with loving others, they may not be able to reciprocate that love for a variety of reasons. You can love them anyway. I counsel so many people who are in love with others but become frustrated when the other person is not able to show that love in return. "Love is patient, love is kind" as the passage from the bible so eloquently states. Sometimes in honoring yourself and in loving others, you may have to let someone go. As another famous quote states, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were"...(Richard Bach). In researching the quote by Richard Bach, I found another inspiring quote by him: “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.” I've been contemplating love lately on my hikes. I remember my first crush. I was in the eighth grade and I was completely heartbroken (with tears streaming down my face) when I watched him dance with another girl at the 8th grade dance. Forget about the fact that he did not even know that I was alive. I had secretly hoped that he would ask me to dance anyway. It hurt nonetheless and I got my first dose of pain associated with caring for someone. I did get my wish however, five years later. He finally noticed that I was indeed alive and asked me to dance. If my memory serves me correctly, I may have even gotten kissed. Patience, patience, patience! During my high school years, I was again very dedicated in my crushes. Those crushes were safe because they required no vulnerability on my part. As I have learned through the years, vulnerability is the price of love, but worth the admission. The true key is two people willing to be vulnerable and take the risk at the same time. Otherwise, loving is still worth it but the timing may be off. Everyone has their lessons to learn and often love tastes all the sweeter after some sour (heartbreak and loss) has occurred. Regarding love, I think Richard Bach said it best with this quote, “True love stories never have endings." Be willing to be vulnerable.....take risks in love and open your heart because love can transform a wounded heart into one that can illuminate limitless possibilities.