Hanging On

"As anyone who has been close to someone that has committed suicide knows, there is no other pain like that felt after the incident"...(Peter Greene). The recent song to inspire me is "Hanging On" by Everyday Sunday. It's about a guy who notices that everybody around him wants to be found, but he is barely hanging on. I have counseled many people through the years, who came to me in that state...just barely managing to get through the day. Some had suicidal thoughts or had even attempted to end their lives. Some people told me later that if it hadn't been for counseling, they would have definitely ended their lives. Recently, my 14 year old niece received some devastating news. One of her best friends, someone she had known since Kindergarten, ended her life. A fourteen year old girl, so hopeless, that the only option she could see in front of her was to end things. How does a girl go from playing jump rope on the playground to growing into a teen, excited about boys, with her entire life ahead of her....to taking her life? Like so many who reach their breaking point, she had things in her life that felt insurmountable. Perhaps the triggers were her parents fighting or the fact that another girl kept bullying her...but in a moment of sheer pain, she couldn't hang on any longer. There are many souls out there that at this moment, they are barely hanging on. Sometimes there is something we can do to help and other times, our hands are tied. If someone keeps things bottled up and gives little to no signs that they are struggling, others may not know how much pain they are in. In other cases, denial can keep people from getting the help they or their loved ones so desperately need. I've talked to moms who have told me that their teen disclosed to them that they wanted to end their lives, but they just dismissed it as normal teen angst. Sure, sometimes when people are emotional, they may say things that they don't mean, but any disclosure about wanting to kill oneself should always be taken seriously. I've also counseled adults who admitted that their family system didn't take suicidal thoughts seriously and simply told them, "Don't talk like that." Denial is sometimes the biggest problem when it comes to suicide. Nobody wants to think that someone would or could actually take their own life. It happens all the time though and most recently there have been quite a few cases of teens, so overwhelmed by bullying that they took their own lives. When people feel that overwhelmed by life, there is no rationale. The reasons and pressures can be numerous in life for teens like bickering parents, feeling like you don't fit it, failing grades, peer pressure and teasing. Adults aren't without their triggers too such as divorces, betrayals, losses of loved ones, failing health, financial devastation, and more. Whether it's a teen or an adult feeling as if they just can't hang on anymore....the pain they are feeling runs so deep that the world just caves in on them. The hope is that someone is able to intervene and help guide them to healthier thoughts and out of the danger zone. Everyone has pressures after all and nobody is without stress. It is in how you manage that stress and the coping skills you develop to help you come out of pain stronger than ever. Friends, family, counselors, teachers, pastors can all be potential support networks to be able to just talk about feelings. If you know someone struggling, reach out to them and absolutely suggest counseling if the situation appears worrisome. Don't ever dismiss pleas for help as "drama." If someone is crying out for help, at least listen and get someone else involved to talk with them as well. We should never feel completely alone in this world...we are all here to help each other in whatever ways we can. As for the countless lost souls hanging on....don't give up. Things are never as bad as they seem. Just because life feels overwhelming sometimes does not mean the obstacles are insurmountable. Reach out for help and know that life can offer many opportunities for a fresh perspective, hope and a new day. To my niece's friend, the sweet soul who just crossed over, our thoughts and blessings are with you. "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"...(Franklin D. Roosevelt).