Too Much of a Good Thing

Sometimes in life when you have too much time on your hands it can feel like too much of a good thing. I was speaking with a client today about the issue of time and since she has been unemployed, she realized that she has not been enjoying all of the time she has. Instead she feels bored, lonely, and lacks a sense of purpose. Often when people retire, they struggle with a loss in their roles and identity and hit a crisis point in their lives and run the risk of losing hope and feeling depressed. Once in awhile even too much time on vacation can feel tiresome toward the end. I know that some parents at the end of summer start counting the days until their kids start school. The lack of consistency and a schedule can throw everyone into funk after awhile. Even by the last day of our Disney trip my four year old was asking repeatedly to go home. I love having fun, but even I was looking forward to getting back to reality. Schedules and routine's are best when there is some wiggle room for flexibility, but overall, routine can be a healthy thing. I know when my kids were babies, I purposely did not put them on a strict schedule. I wanted them to learn to sleep anywhere, to get use to changes in their routines and to adapt. The schedule was a loose one with lots of flexibility. On the contrary, I have counseled and talked with many parents whom put their children on very rigid schedules for eating and naps, only to discover that their children struggled with changes like vacations, day trips and anything that threw them off schedule. I came across one mom who told me that vacations were difficult because her child cried, threw tantrums and would sleep on and off keeping everyone up all night. The child was so use to a strict routine and complete quiet during naps that hotels, theme parks and traveling became a nightmare. I am sure we all know a few adults who throw tantrums when they are off their schedules too! The lesson....teach oneself and your children if you have any, to adapt when needed. Yes, know yourself enough to know how much routine you need, but if change and flexibility is difficult, challenge yourself by adjusting the routine every once in awhile. The client I spoke to today realized that she needs to put some routine and purpose into her endless days to avoid the pitfalls of boredom. We all need a sense of purpose because it gives us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. "To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent"...(Buddha). Avoiding boredom and finding a purpose does not always have to include a job. It can also include volunteering, hobbies, artistic endeavors, physical fitness goals and more. A sense of purpose also comes from learning anything new. I taught myself how to sign language the alphabet during one stretch of excess time I had. That was way before kids! I do not have a problem with excess time any longer. Who knows when that alphabet might come in handy though. A problem I see often in my Clutter Clearing class are people who fill boredom with mindless shopping. I went to one woman's house on a consultation and shopping bags filled with new, unused items filled her closets, garage and basement. People often fill boredom and lack of purpose with a variety of unhealthy behaviors. Here are some quotes about boredom: I know when I'm working I seldom get into trouble. My educated guess is that boredom has caused most of the problems with Hollywood celebrities"...(Hedy Lamarr); "He who seeks rest finds boredom, he who seeks work finds rest"...(Dylan Thomas); "The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes"...(Susan Sontag); "The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom"...(Arthur Schopenhauer). The lesson with time, it is a gift to be used wisely. If unhealthy behaviors, depression or apathy take over, reevaluate what is not working in your life and set out to change it.