Better In Time

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live"...(Bette Midler). Time heals all wounds as the old saying goes. It's amazing how true that is. Watching people go through many trials and tribulations helps reinforce that sentiment more and more to me. I have counseled thousands of people over the past thirteen plus years and have been shown time and time again how time serves as the best medicine. The painful lessons are passages and through the test of time, everyone comes out the other side eventually. They all emerge changed forever, generally stronger and more resilient. Some choose to stay in their pain, dragging their wounds with them, like a backpack filled with stones. Eventually though, the backpack begins to weigh them down to the point those wounds have to be dealt with and released, otherwise further damage to the individual is very likely. I like releasing my wounds. It's so much more cathartic to be in the moment with emotions, letting things go easily and often. Truth be told however, I must admit that I carried a backpack with boulders at one time over the years. The pains from the past finally caught up to me several years ago and I had to take those heavy stones out of the backpack once and for all, uncovering deeply rooted emotions I had been avoiding. With each stone I examined, I felt lighter but honestly, it got worse before it got better. Once you begin to unravel all the pain you have been avoiding, you unveil a huge mess of complications. I kept acknowledging emotions anyway, no matter how much unrest it exposed. I am happy to report that my backpack is finally empty. It took a lot of work but I feel so much happier and I feel more like myself than I've felt in a very long time. I am currently counseling many individuals undergoing many changes in their lives. Thanks to all of the emotions I finally embraced, I too am adjusting to many changes in my life as well. The issues of love, loss and healing are main themes that many face at some time in their lives. Lots of people try to avoid those feelings and fill their time with numerous superficial distractions. I am amazed at how many people are running from their emotions...choosing various distractions instead of getting to the core of what they are avoiding. Dig into those backpacks people! It may be tough to acknowledge at first but it's your life and only you can begin the process of owning your feelings. Often songs inspire my blog articles. This one was inspired from the song "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis. Another one of her songs, "Bleeding Love" keeps ringing in my ears as well. I keep playing them back to back for some reason. They speak to the theme of letting go, only to heal in time and discovering love again, thus bleeding love. When emotions are dealt with, time marches on and healing occurs on every level. I choose feeling over distractions....much more fulfilling really. People cannot ever run from their emotions because eventually emotions catch up with you one way or another. I also find so much more freedom in feeling and in owning each and every emotion I have. There is no freedom in avoidance. The only road that leads to is more pain, the risk of detachment and imprisonment by fears. I have observed countless individuals in the process of freeing themselves from the bondage of their fears and old wounds, then watch with pride as they begin to soar. Those are times I am especially grateful to have the job that I do. That is why I can always say with the utmost confidence, that time heals if you allow it to. “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins"...(Bob Moawad).