Happy

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself"...(Benjamin Franklin). Everyone says they want to be happy...but what does that mean exactly? Often people feel they aren't happy when they have a tough day or go through a tough time in life but happiness is not a destination, it's a state of mind. To me, happiness is a feeling of joy in being in the moment. It's a feeling of gratitude when it appears that everything is falling apart around you. It's the bliss of laughter at watching a silly movie or the simplicity of enjoying coffee with someone special. All of those individual moments make us feel happy. Life happens, which means ups and downs come with the territory. The trick is creating a sense of balance, allowing happiness room to reside within. Often people are looking outside of themselves for happiness in things they buy, people they pursue or in money and other superficial temporary fillers. They may attain those things but then realize that they didn't catch happiness in attaining any of those things. Some get frustrated and then keep chasing more people or things. Happiness seems to allude them like how Bugs Bunny always managed to get away from Elmer Fudd. The way to find happiness is to look within and to observe and clear your hidden barriers keeping you from embracing something that has always been right there all along. Happiness was never trying to hide or get away, it was waiting for you to take notice and allow it to flourish within. Here are some quotes about happiness. "Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it"...(Jacques Prévert). "Happiness is never stopping to think if you are"...(Palmer Sondreal). "Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy"....(Robert Anthony). "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up"...(Mark Twain). "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it"...(Groucho Marx). So, if you are struggling with finding happiness, remember it is really already there within you and you just have to choose it. In embracing happiness, you may notice that fears may creep in occasionally, tempting you to revert back to old patterns of pain and struggle. Don't be fooled by Bugs Bunny trying to tempt you to run after him again. Bugs Bunny is just a "silly old Rabbit" and an illusion testing you, to see if you are grounded in the fact that you can stop chasing. Just be happy and allow the beauty of life to fill you each and every day in embracing the gift of being alive. "If you want to be happy, be"...(Leo Tolstoy).

The Heart of Desire

"How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!"...(Belva Plain). Desire has been the topic of some of my articles lately and I wanted to dive deeper into what desire is for men and women, particularly when it comes to dating and relationships. What does a woman find desirable? For me it starts with something undefined... A twinkle in his eye mixed with an air of boyish mischievousness. A man that can hold his own in playful exchanges, makes me laugh and wants to please me... whether it's in getting me a glass of wine or stopping at the store to pick up dessert. He's not afraid to give me some attention and enjoys the attention I give him. It also creates desire when I feel as if I'm the only woman he has eyes for while we're together and he's the only man I want to be with in that very moment. My desire list has changed considerably from when I was twenty five. Back then, I gave a lot expecting the same in return. I was always let down and frustrated when that just didn't happen. I needed to grow as a person, learn to love myself more and as I transformed, what I value in a partnership shifted drastically. Each person should define what they want when it comes to attraction and desire, most of which begins with a stirring in the soul. These issues apply to someone dating as well as those in long term relationships. If you cannot decide what you want, how can you attract what you desire. Women often complain to me that they continue to attract the same type of guy....yet they don't see that the type of guy they attract is a hidden reflection of how they really feel they deserve to be treated. I keep repeating this very point but it needs to be said again and again to remind people that you have a say in what you create in your life. When people shift how they feel about themselves...they shift what they attract and what they'll tolerate when it comes to relationships. In general, women I've counseled say that they love when men make them laugh and give them attention. All women, no matter how educated, their age, or how needy or independent they are say they want more attention. I guess that boils down to a woman's desire to be cherished. Women tend to give their partners what they want in return. That is an error and an understandable mistake. Men and women often make that mistake in life. You give what you expect to get. Doesn't work. When men and women can understand each other better, then the gap between the sexes can be bridged. Women should practice receiving more and allow men to tend to their needs. That is often tough for women to do. Men enjoy pleasing a woman and actually feel appreciated and valued when you allow them to do for you, whether it's to change a tire or to take you out to dinner. Men want to feel valued for the things they do. That is how a man shows he cares. Men may not always be good at expressing their emotions verbally but if they take your car to get washed and fill up the tank, they displayed nurturing for you. Men also need to learn that they may desire a woman more when she is less available and somewhat aloof but that does not work in reverse. Women get frustrated and feel neglected when men act aloof. Men had a lot to say too when I asked them about what they desire in a woman. Very few men, whether they are 26 or 46, said it's only about sex and appearance. I was impressed by their candid and honest viewpoints about desire. Sure, some men could only manage to be sarcastic and funny when I asked them about desire. When I asked one guy what makes him desire a woman, he said "ice cream," while another said "10 Virgins." Okay, men aren't always great at verbalizing but overall men told me things like, "Having a woman just making me feel respected and like I'm the only guy in the room." Many men said that they think it's sexy when a woman is clearly comfortable with herself and they value mental stimulation and fun conversation. Most men said that even though sex is always on their mind, they get bored with the bar scenes and one night stands. The men over thirty five told me that they look for chemistry and compatibility, more so then they did when they were younger. Physical appearance seems less important to those men and women over thirty five as well. The consensus seemed to be that looks matter to a point but personality and chemistry are what matters more. A few of the younger guys agreed. Although, overall on the dating websites, the proof is in the profiles. The younger men clearly show off their tight abs and their sex appeal, while the older men talk about their achievements and the security they can offer a woman. As for women, they often show off their looks regardless of age because regardless of what men say, they do like having an attractive woman on their arm. The key is finding the right mix...chemistry, timing, something that just "clicks" or a "spark" and compatibility. Most profiles of the men that I have read stated that "Chemistry is a must." What is chemistry? That is the million dollar question. It differs for absolutely every person and is an invisible energy that attracts people together on a soul level. One man told me that he is tired of attracting needy women who lie to him. Well, upon further analysis, he's insecure and he likes the women who lavish him with lots of attention. The problem is that the girls are insecure too and are giving attention to get him to like them. Once things settle down and the girls get what they want, he realized that they lied to him or misrepresented themselves. That is a good example of how you will get back a reflection of your own insecurities until you recognize the pattern and set out to change it. Once you do, the people you desire shifts as well. In long term relationships, you can shift the dynamic as well with setting out to change the old patterns. Creating desire is especially important in long time unions, so as to not get bored or take each other for granted. So figure out what you desire and what it says about who you are, what you need and what you are attracting. "If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it"...(Brendan Francis).

Still Breathing

"I am glad that so much movement happens in this stillness"...(Richard Land). My last article was about feeling overwhelmed, thus motionless when one is feeling passion and desire at the same time. The feeling of being motionless is about being still in the center of an internal emotional storm. When caught in the center of that type of emotional hurricane...sometimes the only action one can manage is breathing. The trick is to not become comatose and detached. You may still be breathing in that scenario but very little emotional work is being accomplished. When people check out because they are so overwhelmed, the inaction causes further delay and perhaps even more turmoil. If that is one's path however, then that is how they must process and learn. For others, stillness is needed to sort through and grow in insight and awareness. Much is learned and attained in stillness. Often most of our emotional growth happens when we are the most still. Even though it feels like we are not moving, things are shifting profoundly in and around us. Again, it depends on the use of stillness as a way to move forward when it's time. Here are some inspiring quotes about stillness. "Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself"...(Hermann Hesse). "No thought, no action, no movement, total stillness: only thus can one manifest the true nature and law of things from within and unconsciously, and at last become one with heaven and earth"...(Lao Tzu). "Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form"...(Eckhart Tolle). "The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest"...(Bruce Lee). I know that personally, I remained still for quite awhile, contemplating my life, my next move and sometimes just sitting with a heck of a lot of emotion. Upon reflection, I was still breathing at times (just barely) but trying to get through each day with the hope and desire that movement would take place at some point. I was growing leaps and bounds in that stillness however. Once I took my first step, I realized that something had profoundly shifted within me. I was transformed in all of that time I was just breathing. Stillness was my journey within, to find the real, true me...sitting quietly waiting to be guided out of the fog. It may have felt like a storm of epic proportions going on all around me but the true me was not afraid of the storm. That first step required such courage which had grown stronger in the stillness. I weathered the storm and kept a steady pace, even when the rain and winds were taunting me to go back. I forged ahead, took lots of deep breaths and paused and reflected when needed, but I kept moving forward emotionally. The storms surrounding people are often made up of fears, judgements and doubt. The storm dissipated more and more with each step. I took risks I thought were impossible before, began to show a vulnerability that I would have taken great lengths to hide previously and my perspective about myself and the world completely shifted. It was as if a veil was lifted and I was allowed to see the world in vivid color. Stillness is my best friend now and with each breath, I honor the incredible growth I made by going within. I carry stillness with me as part of who I am and it continues to illuminate more than the naked eye can ever begin to see. Back to "Anonymous," who may be in the center of their own emotional storm, let love-passion-desire together light the way and you too will find your path out of being motionless when your time is right. "It is the stillness that will save and transform the world"...(Eckhart Tolle).

Broken Glass

Desire is a funny thing. It stirs up the senses, creating a thirst for everything pleasurable about life. Passion is the dessert of life, meant to be savored and enjoyed. A life without passion is like walking in the dessert for years, feeling tired, thirsty and hungry. Life feels dull and plain without passion or desire. Desire is the pulsating drive to feel and savor passion. Someone made a comment on the article I wrote about passion: "Anonymous said...Passion is just one component. Passion with Desire leaves a person motionless." I reflected on that thought for a bit and realized that anonymous may be right. Most people rarely feel passion let alone desire and passion rolled into one. In fact, passion without desire often feels less emotional and even possibly shallow. Desire is a profound sense of longing or hoping for something or someone. Many people stay bogged down in desire too afraid to take even one step toward ever getting what they want. They just allow themselves to desire something or someone from afar, telling themselves that it would be a pipe dream to ever actually attain what they desire. Those people live in caves and they die inside at some point and then literally die with lost dreams and hidden desires that were never allowed to blossom in the light of day. Others may actually allow themselves to desire something or someone but when they get close to getting what they want they shut down, run away, push it away or sabotage. Desire and passion together is pretty overwhelming! It takes awhile to literally get adjusted and use to the intensity of that type of energy. Staying motionless for too long is futile however. Let me rephrase and say that being motionless for awhile may be needed to process all that you are feeling, therefore hopefully helping you to gear up to reach out for what you desire. You have to value yourself enough to push through any old fears, doubts and defenses to allow yourself to embrace the passion from attaining that which you so desired. Being motionless by passion and desire is like sitting in a house surrounded by glass walls. You can see what you desire on the other side of the glass. It's clearly visible and within reach. The answer becomes, do you stay in your glass structure, almost tortured by being motionless...or do you you break the glass once and for all and wrap your arms around passion. At least in a glass structure you are ahead of those living in caves but you are still walling yourself off from the opportunity of having passion in your life. I admit, passion and desire are scary things, in a good way. Again, many do not even allow themselves to dream...partly because they are afraid they won't get what they want but many don't consciously realize that they are really afraid of getting what they want. You have to face those issues of unworthiness once and for all to embrace getting what you desire. Many people feel a profound sense of insecurity, guilt and unworthiness, so they don't feel they ultimately deserve a passion filled life. The alternative is living in your glass house, too mired down by fears to break free. I see this issue play out all around me in various situations. People pick jobs, dates and relationships based on what's convenient versus what may be a challenge or more in line with desire. People play it safe all the time and take the easy, yet unfulfilling way out. The more daring ones reach out for their desires only to pull back and remain motionless. The true daredevils are afraid too....but they take their hammer and break the glass. If the glass house gets rebuilt thanks to defenses, they just break the glass again and again until the house falls away completely and the person is finally free. It may take a few if not many times to shatter the glass but passion and desire are worth it. So, to "Anonymous," don't stay motionless endlessly...break the glass and allow yourself to embrace passion and desire in your life. “A strong passion for any object will ensure success, for the desire of the end will point out the means”...(William Hazlitt).

What I Love

"It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things"...(Donald Miller). At the gym tonight, someone asked me how I like the rain...."I love it," I said. He smiled and said, "I love it too." Sometimes something so simple can be something that we love. Since this is my first fall back in California after 20 years on the East Coast, I am already missing the beauty of the fall colors and the feeling of a crisp, cool October day. Since I cannot bring a Connecticut fall to California, I am allowing myself to enjoy the rain, since it somewhat reminds me of the fall. I didn't realize to what degree weather played on my internal clock. Since the weather has been so continuously warm here, I had been on the go constantly. In Connecticut, when it is warm you enjoy the warm weather as much as you can. The warm weather rarely ends here in California though, so it wasn't until the recent rains, that I realized that I had not slowed down. I love the rain now and I will allow it to be my new fall. I also love the smell of an apple pie baking in the oven. That is another fall memory from Connecticut. In honor of fall and the rain, I have a homemade apple pie baking in the oven right this very moment. Instead of heading to a farm to get the apples however, I went to Trader Joe's. I'm sure the pie will still taste just as delicious. I love living back in California but I do miss a lot of things about the East Coast, especially the very special people I had met there. I love a nice skim Cappuccino and fresh chocolate croissant at a wonderful French cafe here in town. It makes me feel like I'm in France when the French owner, with his French accent comes to the table to take my order. He makes the croissants fresh every morning and they literally melt in your mouth with each delectable bite. I love my kids but I don't love it when they fight and scream. My five year old is going through a screaming phase and those screams are so high pitched that they cut right through you. He sometimes starts first thing in the morning when his older brother taunts him in even the slightest way. If you've never woken up to the sound of a high pitched scream first thing in the morning, consider yourself lucky. I love the movie, "The Family Man" when Nicolas Cage wakes up his first morning as a parent with crying kids in the background and his wife begs him to make strong coffee as soon as possible. That's what it feels like! Thus, I love my morning coffee. I sometimes get a pot brewing before I get the kids off to school then it's off to Starbucks to say hello to the crew there and to get another cup or two. Hey, with the gold Starbucks card, refills are free. You gotta love that, especially if you're an exhausted mommy who was jolted awake by the sounds of repetitive screams. I love my hikes, especially after a morning like I just described. It relaxes me to be on a trail and nature fills me with such peace and serenity. I love the feeling at the end of the day, when I collapse into bed and the pillows and blankets welcome me with a comforting embrace. Of course there is so much more that I love like traveling, road trips, hanging out with friends and the taste and enjoyment of a really good meal. I also love other simple moments like the beautiful birds playing in the fountain outside Starbucks while I was sipping my coffee this morning and the smile on my son's face when I taught an art lesson to his class today. Life is all about the simple moments and those little things that we love. When all of those smells, sights, sounds and feelings are all strung together, they make for wonderful memories that remain with us forever.

We're Human

While walking to school the other day with my kids, my five year old glanced back at the garbage truck passing by. His glance turned into a stare when he saw the big automated arms reach out to pick up the garbage can. He looked at me in earnest and said in his precious voice; "Mommy, I'm going to drive a garbage truck when I get bigger." There it is, he was being in the moment and in that very moment, the garbage truck captured his attention and gave him something to dream of. There will be countless moments like that for all of my kids as they grow and learn about themselves and life. My hope for them is that they never stop having those moments, no matter how old they are. So many adults stop dreaming, wishing and hoping to do something cool, fun or just because. I have my ongoing list of awesome places I plan to visit as well as things I want to do and experience. As long as I'm alive, I will have a continual "bucket list" with additions being made in moments like my youngest son experienced while watching the garbage truck. Life is a wondrous adventure with so many endless places to see and experience as well as interesting people to meet along the way. I try to remain open to talk to anyone willing to discuss the weather or to share their observations about the economy. Whether I am in the steam room at the gym or standing in line at Starbucks, I often find very friendly and interesting people everywhere I go. Many people walk around with blinders on while getting their coffee or even at the gym. I watch some people around me closing themselves off from opportunities to have a spontaneous discussion with strangers. It's too bad because they are really missing out on the human connection. More often though, I find very friendly souls who are just as excited to share some conversation with strangers. You get to find out a little about people's stories, their points of view, or you just share a laugh over something ironic or funny. One time in the sauna, a man liked to do his deep breathing exercises, so loudly that we all thought he was going to work himself into a heart attack. We all laughed and smiled at the distraction. I know that many people complain about the dating web sites but I have met some very intriguing people on there. The goal should not be just about dating but to remain open to just meeting people and perhaps making a friend. There are so many people on those sites looking for companionship, fun, friendship, dating and more. Those sites remind me about how there are so very many people out there searching for basic human connection. Many people do not have anyone to really talk to or to share their hopes and dreams with. That's why, if I'm somewhere and a stranger strikes up a basic discussion, I'll chat for a few minutes or longer, because you just never know what that person is going through. Life really is an experience each and every day. Even though I have my list of places to visit one day like Hawaii, France, Bali and Australia, I find the beauty around me in a sunset, the colors of flowers or in something cute one of my kids observe about life. We're all human and we're on a journey together...kinda shipwrecked on this island we call earth, so why not make it a truly amazing experience.

The Path

“You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself"...(Buddha). You always know you are on the correct path in life when everything just feels right. I have heard others recount how everything in their lives was a mess until they started following their hearts and then like magic, everything becomes easier. In all of the years I have been counseling, people often seek help when they are struggling with pain, resistance, and confusion on their path in life. For many, once they have some insight and clarity, they stop fighting what they have been feeling and everything begins to change. I have watched many people get back into alignment of their hearts desires after going through very painful but illuminating lessons in life. Some will choose to stay in pain because it's all they know and sometimes it just seems easier. It is not easier, it's just a form of turning a blind eye to all that you are afraid to see. If you don't allow yourself to see, then something better doesn't exist from that limited perspective. All that is however is fear of the unknown and surrendering to a life of pain. Some struggle with such deep seated issues of guilt, suffering and the bondage of unworthiness, that escape may seem impossible. With each step on our path however, there is always a renewed opportunity to change, grow and release the chains of the past. Someone asked me recently to describe the pain I experienced as a child. It was quite liberating to tell my story without feeling that it defines me any longer. Those were experiences I went through and grew from, but they don't define me any longer. Our hearts and souls define us, not the various roles, traumas and lessons we've learned along the way. How those things teach us and what we choose to gain or lose from those lessons is up to us. I love hearing people talk about their stories because I learn real quickly how much baggage from the past they are still carrying with them. It's written all over their demeanor, body language, words they use and even in their eyes. Here are several interesting quotes about walking our path. “The stages of the Noble Path are: Right View, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Behavior, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration"...(Buddha). "Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal"...(Friedrich Nietzsche). “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives"...(Henry David Thoreau). "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"...(Ralph Waldo Emerson). What kind of path are you walking? Are your footsteps light and joyful or are they heavy and burdened? Are you enjoying the path, curious and excited about what lies ahead or are you anxious and worried about the future, never really taking in the view. Is the past being carried with you, like a heavy bag upon your shoulders? Are you dragging your feet, complaining about anything and everything or are you skipping and singing along the way. It's your journey and your path and how you walk it is up to you.

Reflections In My Heart

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest"...(Confucius). “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"...(Thomas Merton). Once you really fall in love...the person leaves such an imprint that even if the relationship falls apart at some point, they always remain in your heart. Nothing can ever erase the bond that has been forged between individuals. Time can eventually shift the imprint but you always carry them with you in what you learned, the love you shared and the memories that connect you. I have learned though that the past is meant to be our teacher. Once we have really understood the lessons, then we are released from the past and are allowed to move forward. This includes lessons we have learned in all various relationships, not just partnerships. For the first time in my life perhaps, I am finally living in the present moment. For many years throughout my life, I had either been dwelling in the past or dreaming of my future. Those moments were necessary to grow and reflect about all that I had been through and experienced. I felt compelled to profoundly understand the choices that defined me for so many years and decide what I really wanted to attract and create for my future. I needed to delve deeper into myself more than ever! If you don't know yourself, how can you know what you'd like to attract in your future? The idea of 'The Secret," attracting whatever your heart desires is amazing, however people often have no idea how deep seated pain and fears are still getting in the way of attracting what they want. If you are still carrying threads of unworthiness then attracting what you desire may prove difficult because your pain creates hidden road blocks. In my life, the moment is finally at hand and it feels good to look around me and watch all of the things I had wanted to bring into my life, begin to unfold all around me. It's also freeing to no longer be chained to the past or endlessly dreaming of the future. The present moment had been so painful through times in my life, that my only saving grace was to cling to a possible future, endlessly dreaming and hoping of things to come. Dreaming and hoping is a wonderful thing. Without dreams, hopes and wishes...there would be no magic to life. Even songs like "When I Wish Upon a Star" and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," tap into the beauty of wishes for a better future. Being in the moment means allowing new people, experiences and lessons to occur on a daily basis. It really is so freeing to be utterly in the present moment. Regarding all of the people we have loved in various relationships, they remain forever in our hearts as we navigate ourselves through the present. My reflections lately include honoring the impact I have had on people throughout my life as well as being truly grateful for every relationship and lessons in love I have ever had the privilege to learn. Some of those lessons in love included loss, sadness and tears but with each tear shed, I have learned more than I ever realized possible. I've awakened to so much about myself that had previously been hidden and for that, I have grown tremendously. Those who stay jaded and bitter from past hurts surely navigate themselves into a future of more pain until they allow healing to occur. “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action"...(Peter F. Drucker).

The Heart of Passion

"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead"...(Joss Whedon). Passion is a mixture of intense feelings and passion reminds us of the beauty of being alive. There are different types of passion....passion in love, passion in sex, passion in work and passion in every day life. To me, passion is a true connection to one's heart. In those moments of passion, we are truly in sync with our heart and soul. All too often however, people become so disconnected that they do not feel passion, which is truly a shame. When you live a passionate life, you begin to draw people and experiences to you that are passionate as well. Most people think of sex when it comes to passion. Passionate sex is depicted in movies but it is usually very dramatized. True passion between two individuals is such an intense, emotional and unique experience that it could never be accurately portrayed on any movie screen. Many people though have never had passion during sex because passion requires the ultimate ability to let go and free yourself up from fears and judgements. If you are self conscious during sex..then you can't really let go. A passionate kiss is the first step toward passionate sex. I can always tell in a kiss, whether someone is holding back or whether they have the ability to let go. The kiss is also your guiding light as to whether you have true chemistry with the person you are with. Just like the saying "the eyes are the window to the soul," so is the kiss. The mind can make all sorts of judgements, yet a kiss never lies. We've all experienced those moments when your mind tells you that someone is attractive only to discover no real connection or passion once you kiss. Now, if someone can let go during the kiss..and chemistry intensifies, then you are off to a good start. I have learned through time and wisdom, that attraction and thus passion starts in your soul. When you are in sync with your heart, then you no longer see with your eyes, you see with intuition and that "gut" feeling. When you are still stuck in your head, then you only see with your eyes and the world is one dimensional. Seeing people only with your mind is like buying a house solely for what it looks like. Buying a house that way might give you a beautiful home on the outside but it could have a cracked foundation or major termite damage. Many people however enter into relationships, basing their choices only on the exterior. Basing your life on the intuitive however changes everything and opens the door to a passion filled life. When you allow yourself to feel passion, then you absolutely begin to attract and create it. When you feel with your heart, you see people more clearly, because it's pure and unencumbered by facades. The heart sees through all of that. The heart of passion is feeling. Allow yourself to feel, work on your fears and passion will begin to blossom. If sex is merely a reflection of the rest of your life then allowing passion to blossom affects every area of your life. “Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion”....(Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel). “If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you"....(T. Alan Armstrong).