Beacons of Light

Thanksgiving is not the only time of year that we can give thanks. Sometimes it can be more meaningful when we do it randomly and from a place of deeply felt gratitude. I just came across something I wrote several years ago. It seems fitting that it be included in my blog.

Any time of year can be an important time to remember and acknowledge those people who have inspired and guided us throughout our lives. I want to take this time to acknowledge three people who were beacons of light during very dark times throughout my childhood into young adulthood. I grew up in Southern California in Los Angeles County. I grew up without a sense of community or family. I was a lost little girl looking for a sense of belonging. My parents divorced right after my birth. My mom remarried an alcoholic man who would disappear for days. My biological father seemed more like a myth than a reality, since I rarely saw him and he moved out of the country for almost half of my childhood. Most of my relatives lived out of state and I was lucky to see them once a year. I often had daydreams about being adopted. I secretly hoped that someone out there would would think that I was special and amazing, since my parents didn't seem to think so. I prayed and prayed many nights to be adopted by people who thought the world of me. It just didn't make sense to me as a child, how the two people who had brought me into the world didn't seem too happy that I was here. "I didn't ask to be born," I use to say to myself as I was crying myself to sleep at night. The first person I have to thank is my Grandpa Bunny (Bernard was his real name). He married my grandmother after my biological grandfather passed away when I was three years old. I never knew that he was not my biological grandfather in the way he treated me. I only saw him once a year, yet in that amount of time, he made me feel like the center of the universe. He played with me...asked me questions and always told me how special I was. I absolutely adored him. He passed away when I was 18. Even though I am sad that we did not have a lot of time together on this earth, the impact he made on my life is profound and I am grateful to have known him at all. The second person I have to thank is my Aunt Joyce. She married into the family and was a safe haven throughout those lonely years growing up. She was the one relative who lived nearby and she always greeted me with a smile. She had us over many summer days to play in her pool or to spend the night. I didn't fully realize the impact she had on my life until I became an adult. She was a terrific role model who gave unselfishly of her time and energy. She too made me feel that I mattered to someone. The third person I have to thank was a stranger. All of my childhood pain finally caught up to me in my twenties and I went for counseling. The therapist, I'll call him Dr. Z, taught me to value myself and to find my voice. I paid him what I could, when I could, but he taught me that there is no money value to finding happiness. He too was generous of his time. He was a mentor and a guide and ultimately I followed in his footsteps and became a therapist. He too passed away several years ago but I will always be forever grateful for having known him. Thank you Dr. Z!! My story is a lesson that all of us have the potential to be a beacon of light to someone. The three people who inspired me the most were not blood relatives. We can all reach out to someone in our lives....a child or an adult and make them feel appreciated. Now that I have children of my own, I don't let a single day go by without telling or showing them how valued and loved they are. We can all get so caught up in busy schedules and stress to forget that a simple smile of acknowledgement, a thank you, an apology, goes a long way to make someone feel valued. Think back to your childhood and remember those people who were beacons of light for you. It may have been your parents, a teacher, a neighbor or a friend. Reach out to those people around you now who make your life a little brighter or easier. Don't forget to reach out to offer comfort and solace to those who may be suffering. Even if you do not know what to say, just letting them know that they are in your thoughts can be supportive. Remember what life should really be about. It should not be about who drives the nicest car, who has money and who keeps up the best facade. After counseling so many people from all walks of life, those with the most are often hiding the most pain and secrets. Life should be about compassion, love and honoring each other. Now, as I embark on some major life changes, my words of gratitude above are fitting and timely. I now take the time every chance I get to thank all of the people who have helped me along the way (you all know who you are). I am deeply grateful for this life and have to send huge appreciation to myself for ultimately listening to the voice within and following my heart. "Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls"...(David Thomas).