I Am Me

The journey of insight and awareness is about understanding ourselves more deeply and profoundly. I watch people hide parts of themselves for years until the surface cracks open and their true selves can no longer hide. It is a spectacular sight to watch people come into their own and begin to embrace their true selves. Not unusually, others around them are uneasy by the changes, because others hide their true selves too and cannot believe that you would dare to break out and not allow others opinions to hinder you any longer. I see this frequently in rigid family systems. When an adult child dares to divorce for instance, the families close ranks and blame the person daring to change. It is often difficult for the alienated person, but with continued growth, strength and courage, they do not allow the family system to push them back into their old roles. With all of the issues my family system has, they were actually very supportive about my growth and the decision to divorce. I guess that's where I am fortunate that there has been so much divorce in my family. When I told my mom about divorcing, she said...."Well, I'm not one to talk about divorces, so know that we are here for you no matter what." Others have a harder journey on that front. Many get blasted with judgements and blame from parents, in-laws, friends, co-workers and even strangers. Again, people judge what scares them or what they have been led to believe through their own upbringing. It goes back to gaining strength however, from adversity and challenges. The journey of "I am me" is about digging deeper to who you are and not allowing others to dictate or control your journey any longer. The journey of "I am" has been unfolding with great strength this past year for me. Now, I sit in a practically empty house, since my belongings are on route to California. I've been saying good-bye to friends and finalizing the move. This past year has been the worse year and the best year of my life. What an interesting reflection, that sometimes the most difficult times are also freeing and wonderful. Last December, it felt like I would never reach this moment in time, yet here I am! I not only survived, but I feel better than ever. So who am I now? I am earth mother. I nurture myself and three young spectacular souls who are growing, learning and experiencing life, adventures and figuring out who they are. I am a warrior. I stand up for myself and protect what I know is right. I am love. I illuminate the strength of my heart by feeling, expressing and sharing the love that I feel. I am wind. I head in new directions and allow my heart to guide me. I am water. I go with the flow, am unyielding when necessary and still and reflective, to listen to the guidance springing forth from within. My journey takes on new sights, people and terrain soon, but I will always be willing to blossom new facets of myself as I experience new things along the way. Never stop growing, otherwise....you just remain stagnant. “I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay"...(Virginia Satir).