Being A Tomboy

My seven year old daughter is perhaps one of the biggest tomboys I have ever seen. She wears boys clothes and is often mistaken as a boy. Many people say, "Ahhh-look at your three boys." She use to love it when people thought she was a boy. She is a girl who just happened to have been born with a lot of masculine energy. She's a natural at sports and can wrestle her brothers easily. Something lately has been shifting in her however, a stirring that is slowly growing, attempting to acclimate to the feminine body that she was born with. She asked to have her ears pierced last month (which I complied with) because she decided that it was time that others could see that she is a girl. She wears those earrings with pride. She listens attentively when people talk about their daughters having been big tomboys as kids only to turn into the biggest girlie girls once they are adults. She woke up this morning and insisted on making all of the boys and myself breakfast. She spent hours making anything everyone requested from bagels to pancakes. She clearly loved taking care of everyone. I smiled to myself knowing that some female energy is taking hold. I told her though, that if one of the boys dared to be rude or doesn't say thank you let alone complain, you tell them that they can just get up and make their own breakfast! Too many women think that serving others also means putting up with rude behavior. Heck no!! Serving others is a gift and needs to be appreciated, otherwise don't hesitate smiling and firmly saying "if you complain-that will be the last breakfast I ever cook for you." So many women do way too much for men then get their feelings hurt when the guys are rude. Rude behavior should not be rewarded, ever. No need to get all wounded about it, just refuse to bend over backward for that guy. A lot of women actually act masculine (by doing, chasing and giving) early in dating without realizing it. It does feel good to give but women need to sit back and receive. In addition, men like to feel needed and as if they have a job, so let them give. I know women who have baked cookies, made soup and put together care packages for guys they just started dating. Big no-No's!!!! Women need to embrace their inner tomboys more. The tomboy in me came out in my adult years. I was a bit too timid and insecure as a girl to fully allow the tomboy in me to blossom. As I grew in my confidence, the tomboy part of me naturally came bubbling forth. I love sporting a baseball cap and my big hiking boots. I take risks, certainly assert myself and nurture the masculine in me which makes me feel much more balanced. Sure, I can dress up like a girlie girl and bask in feminine energy but watch out because hiding behind all of that femininity is a very strong woman. My grandmothers were strong women too. Both of them were business owners and they had to be in charge of everything when the men went off to war. My mom had to find an inner tomboy because she raised my sisters and I for many years without a man around. In fact, if you look at history, women throughout the ages had to secretly be tomboys to raise kids, hold down jobs, tend to farms, cook, clean and just about everything else because men were off hunting, in the military or at work. Many men perished in wars and battles which left women completely alone to be the heads of households. Now, divorces make women uncover their inner tomboy because they have to find the strength to juggle being mommies as well as learning how to tend to the car, fix just about everything and all that it takes to run a household alone. Although I like that my daughter enjoyed making breakfast for everyone, I equally nurture my boys to do the same thing. My kids are hopefully learning that boys and girls don't have to be restricted by gender roles at all. Boys can be nurtured to feel, express emotions and help out around the house and girls can be tough, rough and play as hard as any boy can. Even though my daughter is a tomboy, she changes clothes several times a day and actually chooses her boy t-shirts carefully and with pride. There is some girl in her after all. We are all a little like the picture my daughter chose for this blog. The pink tree changes considerably throughout the year depending on the season. In the summer it is green and full then loses its leaves in the fall. In the winter it is covered in snow and in the spring, new life unfolds and the pink emerges. We are all multi faceted and have different sides that spring forth depending on various factors. I'd like to think that all women are really tomboys. Some though are too insecure and have not yet discovered their hidden tomboy, full of potential inner strength. "I've always been a very outdoors sort of girl. I'm more a tomboy than a girly girl'...(Yvonne Strahovski). "I've always been like that. I was a tomboy when I was a kid, so I was always playing baseball and basketball and football and stuff as a kid with the boys"...(Catherine Bell). "People think I'm trying to make a fashion statement because I never wear a bra. It's really that I'm a tomboy at heart"...(Cameron Diaz). "Well, because I'm naturally a tomboy, when I have sleepovers with girls, they end up going home and crying"...(Alexa Vega).