Maybe-Definitely

"All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone"...( Jean de la Bruyere). A friend told me about a song called "Maybe" by Sick Puppies, since he knows how much I love inspirational songs. The song is all about change and needing to walk alone sometimes. The song certainly could be my anthem for the past year of my life. The song also describes the lives of many people I have encountered over the past year as well. Interestingly, the same day I listened to the song for the first time, I received a text from a client saying that she realized that it was time for her to walk alone, finally letting go of dysfunctional relationships. I told her about the song and she instantly fell in love with it. I have spoken to so many people in transition over my career. Many individuals eventually face their deepest fears and insecurities about being alone. People often fill voids in themselves with others. They are looking for happiness outside of themselves and end up unhappy and frustrated. Happiness must be found within first. It's impossible to find what you are missing in others. The lesson is to explore the missing parts of yourself in relationships with others and learn how to develop those traits in yourself. If you cling to others out of dependency, then fear is dictating the union, not love. Many will say that they are hanging onto a person out of love because their rationalization makes denial possible. Who honestly wants to admit that a relationship is dysfunctional and that they keep someone around because they are terrified of being alone. That's tough to admit. It's humbling however to face one's own part in relationships built and founded on mutual insecurities. Maybe it is time to really look at who you are and what you really want in your relationships. It does not always mean that relationships have to end but it does mean that relationships need to change. No matter what, it is important to follow your own path which includes getting to know who you really are. Walking alone is essential in that process, otherwise you may be reacting and behaving in relation to what others want and expect from you. Again, you can walk alone at times even in a relationship because you walk away from the old patterns. Once you risk rocking the boat, you allow room for yourself and your partner to grow and you discover yourself along the way. It's difficult to grow and spread your wings when you may have confined yourself to self imposed parameters. It's as if people construct small boxes they reside in. Then they get married and the marriage goes into the box too. Then the career goes into the box and all of the roles one plays. Even religion gets added to the box or perhaps creates another box and before you know it, you are defined and imprisoned in small boxes, living your life with rules, guilt and limits. Maybe just maybe....people are afraid to break out of their boxes. Freedom is scary because then one must walk alone, defining the journey on their own, not allowing the box and thus everyone else to control them. People often would rather abdicate their power and complain endlessly about it rather than becoming empowered and breaking free. Maybe just maybe though, the box becomes tiring and restricting. Breaking out becomes essential to breathe, to fly and to truly become the person you are meant to be. Here are some inspiring quotes about walking alone. "I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude"...(Henry David Thoreau). "It is far better to be alone than to wish you were"...(Ann Landers). "The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone"...(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe). So maybe, definitely it's time to break free of the boxes you created so that you too can discover that life is full of endless possibilities.

MAYBE: Sick Puppies

Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change