Seeing Through The Dark

“Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment"...(Martin Luther King, Jr.). Whenever I meditate or do yoga, I always feel so much more grounded and centered. By going to a quiet place within, we see and feel things with clearer perception. Today I journeyed (Shamanic version of meditation) and went to yoga, so I finished the day with increased clarity. The darkness to me is the place we visit in dreams, daydreams and in our moments of silence. It's as if we see so much more clearly when we close our eyes. Our eyes and minds often play tricks on us, telling us stories and versions of truth that are not true. But, when we silence our minds and go within, we can feel the truth. I especially find this to be true with the people I meet. They may present themselves one way but something just doesn't feel right. Often people over ride their intuition with rational and end up hurt or exploited by people they should have never trusted. In addition, you just know that it's time to move on and let someone go from your life when you continue to feel worse in their presence. Of course, some relationships may need some work but continued pain is your gauge that something needs to be addressed or that the relationship is over. "The most valuable kind of discernment is emotional rather than intellectual. You will know who someone is by how you feel in their presence"...(Eric Francis). People often get disappointed by relationships or circumstances, but those experiences are meant to teach and often lead you to reevaluate, hope and dream until you reach your desired destination. Trust and intuition lights the way though. I remember when I was looking for a home in Connecticut. My intuition absolutely woke me up almost instantly, telling me that the time had come to sell our present home and look for a larger house (I was pregnant with my third child at the time). My only problem is that once I realize change is occurring, I get inpatient with the process. I initiated the hunt for the new home and started the process of getting our home on the market. I spent weekends going to open houses, had a realtor show me even more houses during the week and spent many hours on the Internet combing through homes. In each home I went to, I tried to imagine what it would be like living there. I was trying houses on, so to speak, trying to find the right match. It's not unlike dating actually. Some homes I knew the moment I saw them that they wouldn't fit and others, I'd get excited, wondering if this might be the one. I was getting to know me in the meantime....figuring out what I really wanted and learning to trust my intuition completely. It was tough for me because I would get inpatient. There were times I was willing to settle for a house that just didn't fit, because it was good enough. Something or someone would intervene however and guide me away from settling. The hunt continued. I finally found the right house and even though I loved it, I made excuses about how the home wouldn't work and I continued looking. The fact of the matter was that when the time was right, everything fell into place. Eight months after I began my search...I went back to the home that seemed perfect and this time everything felt right. Our home received an offer at the same time we made an offer on the new home and everything went relatively easily. I trusted my intuition completely from the beginning...but I had to learn to trust the process. This applies to relationships, jobs or just about anything in life. Seeing through the dark for me means seeing with one's heart but allowing the fact that the entire picture has yet to unfold. It is a message that came to me while hiking and journeying today, reminding me ever so clearly that answers will reveal themselves in time. My lesson....to always honor how I feel, to stay true to my hopes and dreams and to be patient while the process unfolds. As I look back, those eight months of looking for the house taught me a lot about life. In seeing so much of what I didn't want, I came to cherish even more profoundly, what just feels right to me. I learned that settling is never the answer and just a shortcut which only short changes you in the end. And I learned that time is relative and anything worthy in life is absolutely worth waiting for. "God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine"...(David Nicholas).