Above It All

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man"...(William Shakespeare). Well, as I reflect about 2010 and the numerous lessons I have learned....I suppose the best way to sum it up is to say that I have learned to fly, or perhaps soar above it all. With that said, I am more than happy and ready to fly into 2011. I would describe my growth over the past several years like that of a caterpillar transforming into a beautiful butterfly. The growth was happening internally, slowly but surely creating wings and spectacular colors....growing gracefully more and more each day until the metamorphosis was complete. 2010 was the year I emerged from my cocoon and spread my wings to fly. It was a year of change in every way possible. As my last blog entry summarized, my kids went through a lot this past year and I was by their side, adjusting and shifting along with them....paving the way actually. A strength emerged from me....a voice from within that had been suppressed by fears and a need to please others. Along with many other women, I had hidden my power and given it over to the men in my life. I had always thought that a man needed to define me, starting with an absent father, then step fathers, boyfriends and then a husband. If someone had said to me years ago, "Hey Denise-you have amazing power, wisdom and strength and you don't need a man to give that to you," I would have said, "Yeah, right!" I looked outside myself for validation and looked to the men to be strong. I was let down again and again, because they couldn't do it. They didn't know how to validate the strength in a woman. A sad fact is that many men struggle with their own self esteem issues, so they secretly need to pull women down and certainly can't support female strength if they are intimidated by it. This is a pervasive issue in our society....starting with children watching their mothers succumb to the dominance of men....or watching their mothers become controlling and manipulative because they didn't know how to gain power any other way. Either way, there is an imbalance. The more women come into their true strength and power, the more men will be able to stand beside them as equals and partners. This is a journey for both men and women. Men need to learn to have strength not in dominating women but in protecting them and adoring the feminine spirit. Neither sex should dominate or control the other, ever! This is a journey of honoring our strength within. Partners should be just that...holding hands in love, respect and balance, bringing out the best in each other. As I have learned to soar...I have observed so much around me. Many souls are shackled in the chains of their past hurts and pain. The new year of 2011 is about illumination and freedom if you will set yourself free from the past. The choice is yours. Freedom and a chance to soar is there for everyone if you just start to honor the voice within. Nobody is holding you back except yourself. I love my new wings....I sometimes land and take a breather to regain my strength, then I fly back up and enjoy the view from above it all. It's a spectacular view from above and my new perspective helps me navigate the world we live in with renewed clarity and compassion. “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish"....(John Jakes).