She's Got Game

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions"...(Woody Allen).
"When it comes to sex, men generally wonder if they are going to get lucky, however women always know"...(Monica Piper). Women have a lot of power when it comes to the game of sex while dating and in relationships. I have written about how men can improve their odds by how they approach the women in their lives. Their game can make the difference. I had to laugh when I received an e-mail from a male dating website and compared that to one I received from a female dating web site on the same day. The one for men was advising men on sure fire ways to score with a women, including tips about always making out at her place or yours, but never on neutral territory, therefore improving the guys chances to get to second base and beyond. The advice was clearly saying that if you get a woman to a private place, then a home run is almost guaranteed. Now, the female dating website was offering advice on "how to target Mr. Right" and "how to get him to commit." I was laughing as I was comparing to two opinions. For men...it was about helping them score in the bedroom and for women, it was about commitment. Of course women don't really need advice on how to score. If a woman walks into a bar or says to her husband or date, "I want sex," more often than not she will get a home run. Women though do need to work on giving the men in their lives more freedom to flirt with them sexually. Generally, men look to the women for permission for more sexual freedom in a relationship. I can't tell you how many men I've counseled who told me that their wives won't even talk about sex with them. When women become more sexually confident and comfortable, then they can give their partners the green light to explore fun ways to keep the passion going outside of the bedroom. What are ways to have sexual flirting outside the bedroom? That's easy to answer...through texts (sexting is the nickname), e-mails, phone sex, and playful exchanges in person. Men often feel a bit awkward about initiating such exchanges because their partners might get angry with them or refuse sex altogether. Women in general have to get their game on. When women feel more empowered sexually, allowing themselves to flirt and play sensually both inside and outside of the bedroom, then chemistry with their partner naturally increases as well as just having a lot more fun. In addition, since women are emotional and can get so turned on just through words alone, then giving your partner permission to increase verbal sexual exchanges will only further arouse the female libido. Of course, the relationship needs to be intact and not fractured to add the element of sexual play. A fractured or broken relationship needs to address the imbalances first before the couple can improve their sex lives. Sexual problems in a relationship can point to numerous underlying, unresolved and deep seated problems. When a couple is healthy though and chemistry is flying, adding the dynamic of fun sexual play can and will increase desire and send the chemistry between them off the charts. "For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time"...(Isabel Allende).