The Midas Touch

"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears"...(Woodrow Wyatt). I speak throughout my blog about relationships and how women want to be adored and desired. It is so true that women feel love and desire not in what they see so much but in what they hear. Men truly have so much power in their hands (or their mouths), if they truly know how to talk to a woman and how to really speak to her heart and her body. I have been learning so much lately, just from dating. I have also read some web sites designed to teach men about women. Some of the content is so laugh out loud funny. Men advise men on how to not be wimps, how to buck up and act like a man when they're with women and how to go on dates without spending a dime. Hmmm, I especially find that last one interesting. The author of the male site is just advising men that they don't always have to spring for lavish dinners, at least not until you're sure you might want to pursue the woman a bit more. Okay yes, sometimes women go out with men they are not interested in, just for the free dinner.....so the advice for men is understandable. The best tips for men however are about chemistry and desire. One guy practically yells at guys on the site to drive the point home that women do not feel desire in the same way men do. In a nutshell, he states that men feel attraction in what they see but women feel desire emotionally! The advice for men couldn't be truer, that you have to appeal to a woman's emotions, if you want her to desire you. The best thing I've learned through dating is that the Alpha men are the one's with the midas touch with women because they absolutely understand the concept of desire. I'm not talking about the bad boy, jerk Alpha males. Those Alpha males only care about themselves and use their bad boy status to hurt and use women. I'm also not talking about the Alpha males who hide behind alpha bravado because they are just as insecure as beta men, if not more insecure actually. Those guys use the Alpha thing as a game because they fear real connection and intimacy. No, I'm talking about the Alpha men who respect women and want them to feel safe and protected. The classy Alpha male knows that women feel desire internally, so these guys appeal to a woman's emotions. Some Alpha men take the game a bit far...but overall, they could teach all men a thing or two about how to create irresistible attraction with a woman. You see, an Alpha man is confident, secure and comes across like a man. He exudes masculinity and initiates his approach with care and determination. He may have to play a little aloof and mysterious to get your attention, but he plots every move with a clear intention. It may all seem like reverse psychology, act somewhat uninterested and get her attention. Yes, it's true...but it works. The Alpha male acts interested enough but never gives too much away at first. Women love mystery and are more attracted to someone who doesn't appear needy, wimpy or seeking approval. There is just something so animal instinct about it all really, but a chemical reaction occurs when a woman feels like a man is respectfully taking charge. Once an Alpha man has gotten a woman's attention then all he has to do is utter a few compliments or words of desire and he's got her. I know that I keep saying women want attention. They do, but too much attention and she doesn't buy it. Just enough attention, as long as it's sincere and genuine, she wants more and she wants you. I figured that if this Alpha stuff works in dating, why can't couples start using some Alpha techniques to jump start their sex lives. Now think about it, lets look at two approaches from the same husband. The man comes home from work and says, "Hey honey, ummm...if you feel like it, maybe we could have sex tonight?" The same man comes home, but uses an Alpha approach and says, "Baby~I want to make love with you tonight and give you so much pleasure until you can't take it anymore." Well let's see, which approach is more appealing to a woman? The second approach gets the woman's juices flowing immediately....and I mean on the spot. Her imagination is off and running and she feels desired. She just might attack you right then and there. If men just used their words more wisely, they could have women in the palms of their hands, literally and figuratively! Women aren't the consumers of porn like men are. Women visualize everything in their heads....so give women something to visualize. If you are in a partnership, tell a woman how much you desire her, what you want to do to her and how long you'll do it. If you're dating, you can use the same approach to make her feel more attraction toward you. Be careful because every word counts....and there is no need to go overboard. A few select words via text, e-mail, or verbally could be enough to get her going and like magic, you have the midas touch too. Overall, women find a man sexy who is self assured and confident, so guys, work on being comfortable with yourself. And ladies, whether you are in a partnership or single, figure out what you want and then communicate it clearly because the biggest complaint from men is about the numerous mixed messages you send them. “The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man"...(Madame de Stael).