Be Yourself

I know, I know....sounds a bit cliche to say "be yourself." Parents often tell their kids, "just be yourself, don't worry about what anyone else thinks." Well, we all do care what others think at some point in our lives and it's a very personal journey learning to tune out what others think and to just care what you think about yourself. One part of that journey is about building confidence but another part is about breaking away from the collective group dynamic. That is no easy task when we are all conditioned to be good followers. The media, religions, schools, politicians, peers and parents are the groups we participate in and we are rewarded by following and punished for thinking for ourselves. Dare to break free and you risk being ridiculed, pressured or ignored. Nothing risked is nothing gained however and if parents are going to tell their kids to be themselves, they also need to give them some emotional tools, preparation and guidance about what happens when you go against the pack. If you have ever dared to really be yourself, to speak up for who you are and what you believe in, then you know what I mean about a backlash. We learned in history about the Dark Ages and about countless times in humanity's past when people were enslaved or killed for thinking for themselves (some people are still living under that kind of oppression), yet people in free countries are still afraid to really be who they really are. We will not be subject to public hangings any longer yet people still live under a dreaded fear of being themselves. Challenge can be good however because challenge pushes us to really figure out who we are and to fight through our own fears of rejection. If the world truly was at a place where we don't judge others, we embrace and praise differences, we are all equal and honored as human beings not differentiated from race, culture, or socioeconomic status, then we would be the new earth....enlightened. We are on our way there...but to get there, each human being needs to wake up and break free from being what others have told you your limits are and instead take back your power and explore the unlimited potential that is already inside of you. I was speaking with a friend yesterday and she said that she loved art in school when she was a girl. However, her teacher proceeded to criticize her creativity and effort as being "wrong" and she was graded poorly. My friend said that from that moment on, she stopped drawing. Those are the defining moments that people need to undo, heal and move through. People are craving acceptance and one day an enlightened world will reflect and exude unconditional love, but to get there...you first need to accept yourself. Think about it, how can you be one of those leading the pack toward changing the world to reflect love and acceptance and of the beauty of all that is, if you don't love yourself? On a smaller scale, yet no less significant, how can you begin to shift your own world that is your friendships, work places, family systems, if you aren't first being the change that you want to see? People can blame and point fingers at all of the people in the world judging and criticizing but each person must first look into the mirror and decide if they are emanating the love they so desperately want and be accepting first of themselves instead of seeking approval elsewhere. As Buddha once said, "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." We all thrive in environments where we are loved and accepted, but the change starts with each individual creating that type of nurturing environment in themselves with self acceptance. The irony is, once you love and accept yourself...you begin to attract people into your life that accept you. It's the law of attraction working its magic. A person that accepts themselves and loves themselves unconditionally, spreads love more easily to those around them. You simply reflect outwardly what you feel internally. A person that is devaluing others is a person who is filled with anger and hate, and a person who loves themselves, spreads joy and inspires others. Yes, the person exuding anger might argue that they are just being themselves. That's true, they are but they are perpetuating a vicious cycle of keeping themselves hostage and perhaps others hostage as well through their abuse. That is a part of the journey, for each person to learn to break free from their self abuse or from the abuse of others. Either path a person takes is their free will to choose. The choice is yours. Be yourself...or be what others want you to be, it's up to you.