The Law Of Attraction

Talking with my 13 year old niece today about boys was illuminating and brought me way back to my junior high school years. She has a crush on a boy named Scott and when I asked her what she likes about him, her response, "he's cute, nice and funny." She asked me if it's true what she has heard about boys that when they like you, "they tease you and torture you a bit?" "The torturing part has to be fun and lighthearted and if the boy is being mean, tell him to stop and walk away," I stressed. This boy Scott apparently jokes with her every day about how she dances and he always makes an effort to talk with her in class. Hm mm, it does not take a rocket scientist to figure this one out, of course he likes her. The nature of attraction does not change from when you are 13 to when you are 33, 43 or whatever. You are either attracted to someone or you are not. You can't force a square peg into a round hole, so to speak. Attraction goes much deeper than what your mind tells you. Yes, you can talk yourself out of what you are feeling, but you can't change what you are feeling. My 15 year old nephew says he looks for, "smart, cute and funny" in the girls he likes. Cute and funny seems to be the consensus. Cute goes back to basic attraction and each person certainly has their own perspective on what cute means. I have learned through the years that cute is not just about how someone looks, but their overall essence. There are very attractive, mean spirited people out there, which makes them very unattractive in my book. The funny factor is equally if not more important. My advice to them, always be with someone that makes you laugh. You truly have a soul connection with someone, when you get each other enough, to make one another laugh. It helps you take life less seriously. Of course at 13, my niece loves a boy that makes her giggle, but even when she is grown and married with kids, if you can't laugh with your partner about the the small stuff, then life becomes very boring. My advice to both of them, always pick nice people. Nice goes a long way in life. There is nothing more unappealing than "not nice" people. People pick "not nice" people all the time. That goes back to insecurities, not trusting one's heart and giving people the benefit of the doubt, when they really don't deserve it. I have counseled so many bright individuals who admitted that they overlooked the mean behaviors their partner's displayed because they assumed the best intentions instead of seeing the behavior for what it really was, just plain mean, selfish and rude. Nice people also start to display "not nice" behaviors to each other when they have been hurt, aren't happy and begin pushing each other away. The lesson, figuring out who you are, what you want and not settling for terrible. The discussion with my niece concluded with me imparting some of the wisdom I have gained through the years. "Kaitlyn," I said: "Don't dismiss bad behaviors; Expect the very best for yourself (people often spend more time picking out an outfit or buying the right car, then really being aware of what they want and how they feel in a relationship); Look deeply at who the person is and how they act in a variety of situations; Ask yourself, are they respectful to you and everyone that they encounter?; Make sure they are always nice to you; Make each other laugh and of course follow your heart".....